The Fairy

Fairy

When I grow up Im going to be a fairy!

Maisie, why a fairy?

Because I want to!

Maisie slid off her mums lap, where shed been receiving birthday wishes on her fifth birthday, and straightened out her frilly skirt.

Mum, all fairies are beautiful and clever! And besides, they can do anything! And I will too!

Of course you will! Alice reached out to hug her daughter, but Maisie ducked away and stepped aside.

What about the cake?

In a minute! Go and play with the others for now. Ill call you when its ready, alright?

Alright!

As Alice watched the bouncy curls shed so painstakingly coaxed with rollers that morning bounce on her daughters shoulders, she couldnt help but smile:

Shes got such determination! And so bright! What other child her age can express herself so clearly? Just imagine it I can do anything!

The most important thing is not to break that faith in herself, nodded Helen, Alices oldest friend. Some people hear things like that from their kids and immediately start with, You need to be realistic, lifes hard, and such. I say, you trust your child and they will surprise you. I know it for certain. When my Olivia first went to drama class…

Yes, yes, Olivia is just wonderful! Girls, give me a hand, will you? Time to cut the cake. Alice spun lightly in her low heels and headed towards the kitchen.

Their spacious house resounded with the laughter and shrieks of children. The floor was strewn with rainbow confetti and popped balloon fragments. A drooping bunch of daffodils had been tossed carelessly into the corner, and Alice frowned as she passed by them. Those flowers had been ordered by her mother, Veronica, to congratulate her granddaughter. Now she visited often, but in the past, Veronica only rarely came around, preferring to look after the girl at her own flat.

I feel out of place at yours, darling. Im worried Ill break something or spill tea somewhere. Its all a bit grand for me.

Mum! Dont be silly, Alice protested. Grand! Its as grand as we can afford, no more. Richard works day and night, I do as well. So we absolutely have the right to spoil ourselves a little.

Even so, Im calmer at mine.

Fine, as you wish. Most important thing is that Maisies happy.

Veronica had been hands-on since her granddaughters birth.

Ive no time, Mum. Alice would hurriedly finish her makeup before work. If I stop now, Ill lose everything Ive worked for these last five years. Its a rat race. And its not just about money. People rely on me at work. That matters too, but Maisies future comes first.

Isnt it more important for her to have her mum close while shes tiny?

Mum, please! I know what Im doing! Who else would look after my child, who would provide for her?

Richard?

Oh, come on, Mum! Yes, he would, but hes a man. He could be here today and gone tomorrow, chasing someone else. Then what?

Wheres that come from, Alice? Veronica gasped. Does he have someone else?

How would I know? Did I have time to worry about that? Maybe, maybe not. Pregnancy and all that totally took me out of my normal life. I need to catch up, Mum. Thats where you help me, right?

Of course, Ill help, Veronica said, peering into the crib at Maisie. So small… You were a bigger baby.

Whats the harm? Shell grow.

Maisie was a delicate child, often ill and catching colds. Veronica didnt panic like in the early days and efficiently rang her GP. Alice, constantly busy, rarely dealt with this herself.

Mum, shes not burning up! Just treat her. Ive got a meeting, cant talk now.

Maisie would wrap her little hot arms round her grannys neck, nuzzle her nose into Veronicas shoulder, and whimper softly.

There, there, love. Ill make you some squash, youll have a nap, and feel better. Want a story?

About a fairy?

Oh alright, about a fairy then.

Yes!

The beautiful picture book was a present from her father, brought back from Oxford.

Richard, but its in English! Veronica leafed through the pages.

So? Let her get used to another language. You were a lecturer for ages! Surely a childrens book wont faze you.

I suppose not. But Ill have to start teaching her English sooner than planned.

Looking after Maisie, her ups and downs, filled Veronicas life now, and she was grateful for it. At last there was meaning again, something to live for.

The ten years since Alice graduated uni and got married had drifted by in a kind of haze for Veronica. She rarely saw her daughter who was always short of time. Veronica had stopped insisting, after tiring of Alices exasperation at her timid invites. She missed the old days, when Alice used to arrive home from school or university and settle onto the little kitchen sofa, legs tucked under, sipping the mint tea Veronica made just for her, chatting about her day. Alice had been the centre of her world, her entire meaning.

Veronica had her daughter young, at not quite nineteen. A hasty wedding to a fellow student brought nobody happiness. They split a year later, and little Alice became her only reminder of the stormy feelings she never truly experienced again. When Alice turned two, Veronicas mother fell ill, and the next twelve years were a never-ending struggle: bed-bound mother fading in memory, a small child needing love… She barely looked at herself in the mirror anymore.

Alice inherited what was only a suggestion in Veronicas face and turned it to beauty. Veronica would press her lips to hide a smile, looking at her daughter. Shed done well, impossibly well! All that was left was to help Alice make the most of her gifts: ballroom dancing classes, music school, English and French lessons. By the time Alice left school, Veronica knew shed done the very best she could for her child. The only thing that worried her was Alices steely resolve in all matters self-interest. She never tolerated rudeness to herself and defended her ground with wit and sharpness, sometimes making even the most opinionated draw a blank. Her wishes always came first, even if it meant tightening their belts at home for a bit.

Mum, I need those shoes. Understand? I cant go to my first interview in what Ive got. I have to look the part. It matters!

Veronica would hand over the holiday savings. A trip to the seaside could wait. Alices success was all that mattered.

The wedding to Richard was the climax of all that effort. Wiping away sweet, if unexpected tears, Veronica watched her beautiful daughter walk arm in arm with her groom through the citys grandest hotel. Richard hadnt made the warmest impression. Something about him unsettled her, but she explained it away as unfamiliarity with his world big business, a different sort of people. She trusted her daughters words before the wedding.

Mum, this isnt just about love. Theres a contract. Thats important. Marriages of convenience last longer than those built on sighs and dreams.

You think so?

Yes!

Whats in the contract, love?

That were equal partners. From the wedding day. Im not touching what he earned before. All I have to do is

What?

Give him a son. That will tip the contract in my favour.

Thats… odd.

Its sensible and modern, Mum. The worlds changing, so do relationships.

Im not sure its right. I just want you to be happy.

And I will!

They never spoke of it again. Alice threw herself into the business Richard set up for her, and tried to solve the health problems that stopped her from fulfilling the contracts core promise.

Maisies birth surprised Alice.

So much for all the latest medical research! she folded the blue blanket shed bought, certain itd be a boy. Three times, Mum! They told me three times itd be a boy! And? Does she look like a boy to you?

Darling, isnt a girl lovely?

Oh Mum, of course she is! Its just… not what I was expecting. Thats why Im cross. Plus the timing…

Youll have a son too, Alice. Later, no doubt.

I hope so…

But things stalled. Alice was back to dashing to clinics between meetings, desperately trying to catch up. After several attempts in various fancy private surgeries, she threw up her hands.

Ive done everything, Mum. No idea what else to do.

Maybe its time to focus on the daughter you have?

Mum!

What? Maisies four, nearly five. Shes brilliant. Who says fathers only love sons? Youre clever time to tweak the contract terms.

Alice pondered. Her mother had a point.

In that case, Maisie should live at home.

Alice…

Mum, not up for discussion. She spends too much time at yours.

But shes used to me!

Who says she needs to stop seeing you? Alice dismissed it, flipping through Maisies art folder. She draws quite well. Needs proper art school.

Shes already had private art lessons for a year… Veronica almost broke down.

Mum, dont turn this into a tragedy. Im not hiring some random nanny when youre here. Therell be a driver, whatever we need. Maybe its time you moved in?

No! Veronica shook her head. Thats not a good idea. But I want to spend just as much time with Maisie.

Life, of course, had its own plans. Maisie caught a cold the very week her parents announced shed be living at home, and Veronica ended up moving in too.

Mum, its perfect here. So much space. Most of all, Maisies close and youre not worrying!

Veronica glanced again at the room shed settled into for over a week and, somewhat reluctantly, nodded.

Yes… Maisie is here…

She tried not to notice what went on between Alice and Richard. She knew things werent ideal, but kept silent, preferring to leave it to the adults who barely noticed the dishevelled little girl running wild in all that space.

Granny, theres more room here than at yours! Maisie twirled around the living room. Can I have a dog now?

I dont know, love. Youll have to ask your parents.

Why? Maisie looked Elena up and down. Isnt it your house too?

No, darling. This is Mum and Dads house. I have my own flat where I get to make the rules. Here, I dont.

Not even to ban things?

Depends what. Spilling milk at breakfast yes. Getting a dog no.

I see!

Maisie sat down in thought, and Veronica sensed trouble. That was the look Alice wore before setting her mind to something especially complicated and usually getting her way.

Ill talk to Dad! Maisie declared to herself and jumped up.

The discussion happened that very night. Maisie marched into her dads study, ignoring his distracted annoyance.

Do you love me?

Richard was thrown. He didnt know his daughter very well; their encounters rarely went beyond a distracted Hey, sweetheart! If his mother-in-law suggested time with Maisie, hed absentmindedly agree and promptly forget. Maisies question floored him.

Of course. All parents love their children.

Not all. Just you.

What do you want? A new toy?

No! Maisie scowled. I want a dog!

A robot dog?

Her eyebrows shot up, bouncing toward her messy fringe.

Why a robot? No! I want a real one!

Richard closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Big dog?

Doesnt have to be. Just a nice one.

You choose. Let me know. Youll have your dog.

Alice didnt agree with the idea. That evening, behind closed bedroom doors, they argued for ages. Unbeknownst to them, Maisie was sitting, ear pressed to the door. Veronica nearly had a blood pressure spike, and after putting her to bed early, retreated to her room not knowing Maisie had no intention of sleeping.

Its not a toy! You cant just give the child everything she asks for. A dog is a living thing. Wholl look after it?

Your mothers here. Theres a housekeeper. Pay a bit more. Where theres a child, theres room for a dog. Walking them together will do them both good.

And the vet? Dog shows? All the rest?

Weve plenty of vets in town. Open one yourself. Dog shows… Just get a mutt and dont worry about it. Alice, what do you want from me? I barely see my daughter as it is. But this is a wish I can grant. Why not?

Because its not trivial. Its about responsibility. And wanting everything, right now.

But why shouldnt she? Why cant she have exactly what she wants?

Alice fell silent. Maisie quietly moved away from the door and grinned. Shed get her dog. That much was clear. The grown-up talk didnt interest her anymore.

A few days later, a fluffy Pomeranian arrived for Maisie. Two months later, just a week after her birthday, she and her granny moved back to Veronicas flat. Alice was suddenly silent, drinking strong coffee every morning before vanishing all day, barely speaking to either of them.

Granny, whats wrong with Mum?

I cant really tell you yet. Shell explain, soon. Veronica stroked both granddaughter and puppy.

Why are we living at yours again? Is it for a little while?

No, Maisie, not just for a little while. Im afraid… it might be for good.

Veronica herself was lost. When Alice came into her room with barely a word, heart pounding, Veronica knew something was wrong. Alice set her suitcase down in the middle of the room.

Pack up, Mum. Were leaving. Can you sort Maisies things too? I havent got time.

Veronica, at a loss, nearly questioned her daughter, but the look in Alices eyes stopped her.

Ill do it, love. Give me half an hour.

That evening, Veronica made a cup of Alices favourite tea and carefully set it down, trying to catch her gaze. Alice sat cross-legged on the sofa as she had in her childhood, staring into space.

Dont ask, Mum. Were getting divorced.

Veronica gasped and glanced anxiously at the door. Maisie was absorbed in a cartoon in the other room.

He has someone else. And already a son…

Alice buried her face in her knees, and Veronica stepped towards her to comfort her but stopped on seeing Alice laughing.

I thought you were crying…

Not worth his tears, Mum. Thats how it is. I didnt manage, after all…

Why or how Richard chose a new family, Veronica never understood. She was grateful, at least, that he was decent and the divorce was quick, without drama. After six months, Alice moved out to a neighbouring street, buying and refurbishing a large three-bedroom flat. Life settled into a less smooth but familiar groove narrower, not so easy, but at least understandable.

Maisie grew, clever and stubborn. Everything to do with her interests became all-important no discussion. Alice no longer tried to correct her, giving in to nearly every whim.

Alice, you cant do that.

Mum, what do you want? Shes clever and resourceful, shell get what she wants in life. Best thing anyone can learn these days: look after number one.

I dont agree. I worry for Maisie.

I dont. And why not agree? If Id put myself first, maybe Id still be with Richard. But I thought about him. Silly…

Silly is never seeing your own child! Veronica snapped. Shes got needs, not just wants. Most of all, she needs her mum!

Shes got you.

Thank heavens! But she could do with you too!

What for? She only listens to you.

Because I can say no! You never do.

I want her to know she can have what she wants. I dont want to be the one saying no all the time. Better a friend than a Cerberus, dont you think?

Veronica would just sigh:

But what if she finds out she cant always get what she wants? Life happens, you know…

It wont happen. She knows what she wants. Shes not stupid, Mum. You know that.

I know… and I know that sometimes life just gets in the way. You, of all people, should know…

Thanks, Mum, Alices voice went icy. I know full well. I just dont want her to.

Veronica would drop the argument. What was the point? Alice wouldnt change, and Maisie barely cared about her grannys warnings. She went her own way, assured her mother would always back her, and that her granny loved her too.

Alice paid her daughter little attention, completely absorbed in work. Every so often, Maisie would be whisked off for a shopping trip.

You have to be at least as good as the rest. Nature didnt give you the prettiest face, but it doesnt matter. If you wear the right clothes and makeup, youll always look your best. Learn this. Youll need it.

Maisie listened here. Alice had impeccable taste, and while Maisie didnt have her mums features, she was built like Alice. Before long, her mothers wardrobe was her own boutique.

This, and this, and maybe that. The rest leave. Too mature for you. Alice sorted through the clothes. Everything in moderation.

Girls at school envied Maisies makeup bag. They couldnt believe her mum bought her such expensive things.

Your skin matters. Dont ruin it with rubbish. Youll thank me later. Use it right. Alice tossed out a cheap mascara a friend had given Maisie. Whats this?

A present.

Not all gifts are worth keeping. Thank her, then bin it. Self-respect, Maisie.

Veronica saw it all, but no longer tried to intervene. She just tried her best to soften Maisies temper, with mixed results. After school, Maisie went to university, choosing the same subject as her mother and grandmother. University life swept her up, and Veronica rarely saw either her or Alice. Thus, she was the last to hear any news.

Getting married? To whom? Her hands shook, favourite mug slipping through her fingers and shattering across the kitchen tiles.

William Parker… Maisie sang out, curling up on the sofa to watch her grandma gather shards. Well, Will really! My Will!

Who is he, darling?

Oh, a lecturer. Not even mine! Dont look like that, Granny. He just works at uni!

Hes…

No, Granny, hes not old. Hes rather nice, actually.

Will was, as Veronica later learned from Alice, married.

How… Veronica clutched her head. And youre so calm about it?

Why should I worry? His wife is not my problem, nor his child. I care about Maisie! Shes in love, and knows who she wants.

Alice… Oh, where did I go wrong with you? Veronica gripped the table to steady herself. This isnt right…

Whats not right?

Breaking up a family!

Hes not a puppet! What are you talking about, Mum? Alice pushed a glass of water towards Veronica. Calm down, focus on your granddaughters happiness.

But will she have it, real happiness? Veronica whispered, and hurled the glass at the wall.

The wedding was somber. Wills parents refused even to meet the family. Richard, now in another city, just bought his daughter a flat. Alice furnished it without even consulting Maisie, who didnt much care.

Mum, look! The dress is just magical! I want it! Maisie whirled in front of the mirror.

That dress is called Fairy.

The shop assistant took out the veil to show Alice. She could already tell whod have the final say.

A sign, Maisie! Remember how you wanted to be a fairy as a child?

Yes! And now I will! My life will be a fairytale! Everything will work out!

It all will… Alice echoed softly, crumpling the delicate lace between her fingers.

Veronica barely managed to get through the registry office and slipped away early.

Dont feel well. Dont want to spoil your day.

She kissed her granddaughter and left. As the car pulled away, Veronica looked back. Maisie was twirling next to her husband, waiting for the photographers signal to release a dove from her hands. Veronica suddenly shivered. Something about her granddaughter reminded her of that nervous white bird, longing to escape her grip.

What can I do now… What can I do… She sniffled, then steeled herself. Give me strength, Ill need it still…

Maisie split from her husband within a year, soon after their daughter was born. It turned out Wills new love was one of Maisies own classmates. While heavily pregnant, Maisie turned up at uni to sign paperwork, only to catch her husband with the new girl in an empty lecture hall. She stepped back silently, holding the door, but then slammed it so hard the windows rattled.

What happened?

Just fumigating, Maisie gestured at the lecture hall. Cockroaches in there.

After sorting her papers, she called Richard for help.

So now youre running back to Dad? Alice chided. Havent you tried sorting him out?

Why, Mum? Maisie gave her a frosty look as she packed up her daughters things.

Because hes yours. Thats how its supposed to be.

Is it? And what does supposed to be even mean, Mum? Maybe it means that if you take something, you get something back. I always thought Id get my way. Never thought about what its like for someone else…

What do you mean?

I mean, the woman before me probably wanted things too for her child to have a dad, to be loved… But then I turned up, thinking she didnt need it. And now someones done the same to me… Thats supposed to be for you…

Dont talk nonsense! I never thought youd act like a sulking child.

Thats just it, Mum. Im not a child anymore. Thats why it hurts. The fairys grown up… wings no longer hold her. Too grown up…

Alice said more, but Maisie stopped listening. She had to decide what came next.

Veronica packed up, dabbing her eyes and keeping an eye on her great-granddaughter.

Its alright, darling! Your mums strong. Well be fine…

Alice didnt go with them. Veronica left keys for her, asking her to water the plants then waved her off.

Its not important. Look after yourself.

Years later, a young woman walked through the old park. The little girl with her, sometimes running ahead, sometimes clutching her hand, was unmistakably her daughter.

Look, Mum, what we made in nursery! The child rummaged in her backpack and pulled out a stick with a crumpled foil star. Oh its bent…

Whats that, Nicola?

Magic wand! Like a fairys. Except… its a bit battered.

So what? Maisie smoothed the star and waved the wand. See? Works fine!

How do you know it works? Nicolas eyes widened. What did you wish?

That everything would be alright for us. That everyone would be healthy.

Didnt work… Nicola bowed her head, scowling. Grannys still in hospital.

But she isnt. Shes home now.

Really? Nicola jumped up and down.

Really. When we get home, shell be there for you.

Give it, Mum! My turn! With a giggle, she grabbed the wand from her mum and waved it.

What did you wish for?

Not telling!

Thats not fair! Maisie laughed, tucking a stray curl back under her daughters hat.

Alright! Just one Ill tell you. The rest are secrets. I made lots.

Go on. What?

I want us all to be together, always… Nicola whispered, and Maisie knelt beside her.

Nicola… you mean Granny?

The girl nodded silently.

I cant promise you that, angel. Im not exactly a fairy, just a bit. Not everything is up to us in this life. But we can be together for as long as we can. And love each other even when were apart. When you go to nursery or I go to work, we still love each other, dont we? Even if were apart all day, we think of each other all the time, right?

Nicola nodded and waved the wand.

Im going to change my wish, okay?

Whatever you want, love.

I want Granny to get better and for us to stay together for a long, long time. Do you think thats alright, Mum?

Maisie stood, brushed off her skirt and nodded with great seriousness.

Its the best wish there is. Now lets go show your magic wand to Granny. I bet she has a wish or two as well. After all, shes a real fairy.

Really?

Absolutely. Best fairy in the world.