The Wise Mother-in-Law

Dear Diary,

This morning I was watering the geraniums on the windowsill when Elsie burst into the kitchen, her face flushed with worry. Shes thirtyfive now, but she still carries that teenage urgency.

Mother, are you alone? she asked, halflaughing.

Wouldnt you like to start by saying hello and asking how Im feeling? I replied, wiping my hands on my apron. Well, dear, Im as fit as a passport saysofficially documented, you know. And your husband? Hes off praying now.

Off to where? Elsie pressed.

Use your brain, love. Where does a husband go on a Saturday? I teased.

To church, she muttered, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

I hope hes at church, not chatting away about God with some lady, I chuckled. And what wind has blown you to say youre no longer grateful?

Oh, Mother, I cant take it any longerIm leaving Jack! she blurted.

My dear, Jack isnt the worst soninlaw in the world. Do you think theres a queue waiting for you? Ha! Hes not exactly a king, but hes not a complete scoundrel either, I said, shaking my head. Why are you railing against him? Do you think he loves you?

Does it hurt me that he doesnt love me? I just know my daughter would despise a husband who cant give her a golden motherinlaw, I snapped back, tasting the bitterness of my own words. Youll drive anyone mad enough to lose their marbles.

Elsie rolled her eyes, You always say, The apple doesnt fall far from the tree, she said with a wry smile.

And as they say, Every family has its odd one, I replied, sticking out my tongue and winking. Stop tearing at my poor heart and just say what you need.

She hesitated, Mother, were going to a birthday today. I wanted to give fifty pounds, and he says

And whats wrong with that? I interrupted. Dont go blowing everyones minds about how wealthy we are. Take six modest crystal glasses and be done with it.

Who needs crystal glasses now? Everyone already has them, she muttered.

Im no judge, dear, just a cultural worker, I said, trying to sound helpful. Ive been selling tickets to the circus for yearsso many years, in fact. If they dont need glasses, theyll find another use for them, Im sure.

At that moment a man in his forties entered, his shoulders hunched.

Whos opening the door for you? he asked, nodding at me. Good morning, Mother.

Oh, its you, Jack! Come in, are you hungry? Ive prepared a lovely filletjust for you. If you hadnt shown up, I would have sent your father to bring it yourself!

Elsie glared at me, You didnt even offer any to me!

My dear, Im sorryI have plenty for you too. I was just so thrilled to see Jack. I tell the neighbours all the time how lucky I am to have a golden soninlawbetter than a son, they say! Listen, Jack, I want you to know Im on your side. Your wife made a fuss in my head, but I say youre right! Will you eat in the kitchen, or shall I bring it here?

Thank you, Mother. We just had breakfast, Im not hungry, but I appreciate your support. My wife will never be convinced otherwise, he said, a halfsmile on his face.

You know, Jack, she isnt as bad a wife as you think. Shes spoken such lovely things about you to mehow wonderful you are. I love you like my own son, you know that, I added, watching Elsie sip her water and choke a little on my words.

Jack stepped forward and embraced his wife.

Really? I thought youd be complaining, he whispered.

She ran off for advice, didnt she? Never mind, Ill tell you a secret: Dina wants to cook something special for you, but I wont reveal what. We were brainstorming like two housewives! She mentioned the gift and said you hadnt decided yet, so I told her you were right.

Elsie listened, eyes wide, then managed a smile.

Mother, thank you. Ive taken everything you said to heart. If I forget anything, Ill call you. We should be going, she said.

Hold on, you havent taken the fish for Jack yet. I wont let you leave without it, I replied.

Just for Jack? Did you forget about me again? she protested.

Oh, my forgetful head, I chuckled, You know hes always first in my thoughts, then you. I shrugged apologetically.

Jack stood with a satisfied grin. I wrapped the fillet in a striped towel, slipped it into a waterproof bag, and handed it over.

Here you goenjoy, and make sure you finish it all, or Ill be cross!

Thank you, Mother. Youre a true friend. Lucky me to have such a motherinlaw, Jack said, taking his wifes arm. Shall we go, Dina?

Ill catch up later, Ill say goodbye to Mother, she replied.

Jack left, and I lingered with Elsie, who whispered conspiratorially:

Mother, youre a brilliant actress! The Royal Theatre would weep for your drama! And how did you leave Father without a penny?

Sweetheart, I didnt want you to end up crying over empty pockets, so your father and I will share the fish another day. Remember, to keep peace at home you must play a little part of the actress, I said, smiling at the truth of it all.