Though Lucy Was a Wonderful Daughter-in-Law and Wife, She Ended Up Destroying Not Only Her Marriage, But Herself as Well

Although Emily was a remarkable daughter-in-law and wife, she managed not only to unravel her marriage but to unravel herself as well.

Emily, orphaned from a young age, grew up shrouded in the faded wallpaper and echoing hallways of a Yorkshire childrens home. At just eighteen, she tumbled abruptly into matrimony, with nothing but borrowed lace and wide, anxious blue eyes. She didnt have the faintest clue what one ought to do as a wife or how to exist within the woven patchwork of a family, for her friends were single, rootless as dandelion seeds. Finding herself in her husbands flat in Leeds, she drank in every whisper and instruction about the making of an ideal English wifemostly from the lips of her mother-in-law, Mrs. Goodwin.

Of course, Emily had heard the tales beforethe ones told in late-night cups of tea, with voices dropping low when mothers-in-law were mentioned. Yet she reasoned, with gentle hope, that since shed never had a mother herself, perhaps Mrs. Goodwin would become that for her: wise, warm, a steadying hand. In a strange way, maybe Emily was right. Mrs. Goodwin didnt mean harm for her sons new bride, but intentions are slippery things, especially in dreams.

Mrs. Goodwin started her lessons briskly, imparting household wisdom as if she were passing down family heirlooms. Its the wifes fault when a husband strays, she declared one afternoon while ironing shirts, the steam fogging up the window to a world that suddenly looked peculiar, distant.

Why? Emily had always thought responsibility belonged to the one who chose to betray, but reality rippled and shimmered differently here. No, the blame lay with the wifeperhaps shed let herself go or somehow ceased to allure her husband. Mrs. Goodwin advised keeping a waist as trim as a Maypole, even in old age. Dutifully, Emily opened a little notebook and scribbled: Do not gain weight, and soon she was paying monthly for fitness classes at the local club, her pounds sterling slipping away as quickly as her confidence.

Emily was slender as a willow, but the fear of tipping the scales haunted her nights, and she nibbled at lettuce and regret. Once that lesson was learned, her mother-in-law dispensed another: In a proper home, both husband and wife work.

Emily did not argue; she longed for independence herself, happy to take up any position that showed itself. When she inquired about what people did during maternity leave, Mrs. Goodwin only shrugged, Maternity is your burden to sort, love. Dont expect help from the world.

Emily left that one off her notebook, but years later when her own child arrived, she juggled a part-time babysitting job while minding the house. It pleased her somewhat, but her husband and Mrs. Goodwin started to murmur about the meagre trickle of pounds she brought in.

Thinking a small indulgence harmless, Emily spent her modest earnings on a visit to the hairdresser, but another maxim awaited her: No point dressing up while on maternity, dear. Tidy yourself only when youre back at workits time to save, not spend.

Emily turned over every last note to her husband, year in and year out. Ever present, Mrs. Goodwins words echoed: A proper English wife keeps her household herself. And so she did. She tidied, scrubbed, stewed, sootheduntil exhaustion shadowed every corner of her vision. Fainting became ordinary. Most nights, after the last child drifted to sleep at nine, Emily would scurry through rooms to scrub and prepare tomorrows meals, while her husband, tired from earning, drifted through a tenth nap.

That she landed in hospital was hardly shocking. Shed ignored the persistent aches, the blurred warning signs. She stayed under the sickly fluorescent lights for more than two weeks. Not once did her husband or mother-in-law appear with flowers or a paper. Fortune shone that Emilys phone was with her; she rang her only friend, who came like a spring breeze, bringing fresh pyjamas and kindness.

When Emily stepped out of the hospitalcolder, lighter, and awake with sudden clarityshe filed for divorce straightaway, the streets of Leeds shining with impossible, lucid light, like a city seen in a dream after rain.