З життя
Відкладена мрія: зрада та визволення
Мрія, відкладена на потім: зрада та звільнення
Якщо спитати Оксану, що вона мріяла все життя, вона б без вагань відповіла: “Подорож до Франції!” Уявляла, як гулятиме вузькими вуличками Парижа, як дивитиметься на заходи сонця в Ніцці, де золоті промені обіймають бирюзові хвилі. Це була її найзаповітніша мрія — нагорода за роки праці, довгоочікувана перерва від буденності в маленькому містечку на березі Дніпра. Але щоразу, коли Оксана згадувала про поїздку, її чоловік Тарас знаходив причини відкласти все “на потім”.
“Наступного літа, Оксанко, слово честі, поїдемо!” — повторював він рік за роком, і його слова звучали, як порожні клятви. “Треба підлатати дах, закрити кредит, трохи підкопити.” Спочатку Оксана йому вірила. Вона ділилася мрією про Францію з самого початку їхнього шлюбу, а Тарас запевняв, що вони обов’язково туди потраплять. Вона почала відкладати гривні, дбайливо збираючи кожну зайву копійку, сподіваючись, що колись вони разом ступить на французький ґрунт. Але роки минали, а “наступне літо” перетворилося на нескінченні відмовки. То робота забирала весь час, то пралька ламалася, то накопичень не вистачало. Оксана переконувала себе, що це тимчасово — вони ж таки поїдуть.
До своїх шістдесяти Оксана накопичила на розкішну двотижневу подорож: квитки бізнес-класу, готелі з видом на море, екскурсії по старовинним замкам. Вона знову заговорила про поїздку, очі горіли від передчуття. Але Тарас, навіть не відірвавшись від телефону, усміхнувся: “Франція? В твої роки? Що ти там забула? Ходитимеш у купальнику по музеях? Ти ж вже не дівчинка, Оксанко.” Його слова вдарили, як батіг. Вона відчула, ніби її облили кригою. Після стількох років очікувань і надій вона зрозуміла: Тарасу ніколи не було цікаво, чого хоче вона. Для нього це була просто дитяча витівка, не варта ні грошей, ні часу.
У ту мить щось тріснуло в її душі. Роки терпіння, компромісів, надій розсипалися, як пісочний замок під дощем. Наступного дня, поки Тарас був на роботі, Оксана прийняла рішення. Вона замовила подорож — два тижні у Франції, тільки для себе. Годі чекати, годі просити дозволу. Вона спакувала валізу, залишила записку: “Гарної рибалки, Тарасе. За спіною не чекай.” — і поїхала в аеропорт.
Коли Оксана вийшла з літака в Парижі, їй здалося, що з плечей звалився важкий мішок. Вдихнула тепле повітря, насичене ароматом кави і свіжих круасанів, і вперше за багато років відчула себе вільною. Блукаючи Лувром, стоячи на набережній Ніцци, вона усвідомила — дуже довго вона відкладала життя заради чужих пріоритетів. І так, вона наділа той самий купальник — з гордістю, не звертаючи уваги на сторонні погляди. Це був її момент, її життя.
Одного вечора в Ніцці, обідаючи в ресторані з видом на море, Оксана познайомилася з Богданом. Вони розговорилися, сміялися, ділилися історіями. Вона раптом відчула, як бракувало цього — відчуття, що тебе бачать і чу”А коли вона повернулася додому, зрозуміла, що нарешті навчилася бути щасливою — на свій власний лад.”
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