You’d Better Be the One to Say Sorry

“Did you get a mortgage for a flat?” Barbara exclaimed with delight. “Oh, darling, that’s wonderful! Absolutely brilliant!”

Lucy laughed on the other end of the line, and Barbara could hear her son-in-law mumbling something in the background.

Mum, you dont have to shout like that, the neighbours will hear you

Let them hear! Barbara chuckled. When can I come over for a look? Today? Tomorrow? Ill bake my famous apple pie, the one Matthew loves.

Lucy paused for a moment.

Come on Saturdaywell have the furniture in by then.

On Saturday, Barbara stood in the middle of the bright living room, slowly turning on the spot, admiring the high ceilings, broad windows and the crisp plaster on the walls. The new build smelled of paint and something woody.

The kitchens massive, can you believe it? Lucy led her mother down the hallway. And the balconys glassed-in, so we can park the pram out there.

Its gorgeous, Barbara stroked the wall. Matthew, well done!

Her son-in-law just shrugged.

We do our best, Barbara.

At lunch, Barbara helped herself to a second slice of pie and finally blurted out what had been on her mind all morning.

Ive worried about you so much, you cant imagine. Lucys seven months along, renting that flat where the landlady could ask you to leave at the drop of a hat. Its just not right!

Lucy and Matthew exchanged a glance. Barbara noticed how her daughter pressed her lips together ever so slightly.

Mum, we managed.

Managed Barbara put down her fork. But I lost sleep over youwondering how youre getting on, what would happen if something went wrong? A child needs stability, their own home.

Matthew cleared his throat and shoved his plate aside.

The repayments are a bit steep, to be honest. But we worked it all out.

Steep? How much? Barbara raised her eyebrows.

Its normal, Lucy answered quickly. For London, its normal.

Barbara looked at her daughters tense shoulders, at Matthew as he traced patterns on the tablecloth, and realised they were both scaredbut they would never admit it.

Right, listen to me, Barbara said firmly. Im going to helpdont argue. Matthews parents will chip in, too, wont they?

They promised, Matthew nodded. Mum said theyd send what they can every month.

There you are! Barbara leaned back in her chair. Youll manage. Youre not alone in this.

Lucy managed a faint smile, but the worry in her eyes lingered.

A few months later, baby Harry was born in Marchbig, healthy, and noisy. Barbara came round every week with homemade soup, washed the babygrows, and walked her grandson in his shiny new pram around the estate.

Life settled into something like normal. Matthew got a promotion, and Lucy even started talking about another baby.

Two years later, little Sophie arrived, filling the flat once more with screams, a sea of toys, and sleepless nights. Watching her daughter, happy and glowing, Barbara thought, Yes, this is how things are meant to be.

Then Matthew was made redundant.

Barbara only learned about it later. Lucy kept dodging the subject, insisted everything was fine and they were just a bit tired. The truth came out by accident, when Barbara popped round without warning and found her daughter in tears over a pile of bills.

We just cant keep up, Mum, Lucy spoke softly. Three months behind. The bank rings every day.

Barbara did what she could, collecting money from family and friends, but it wasnt enough. Matthews parents were barely getting by after his dad ended up in hospital.

Six months later, the bank repossessed the flat

Barbara sat at her friend Carols, unable to bring herself to touch her tea.

Theyre in a one-bed now, Barbara gripped her mug. Two children, Carol. Harrys four, Sophies two. No space to grow, no space to runalways tripping over each other! Four of them in one tiny room.

Carol shook her head.

Good grief, Barbara, how awful!

I kept telling them theyd manage, Barbara wiped away tears. I promised Id help. But what can I do? Pensions laughable, odd jobs here and there Its me who convinced them everything would be alright!

You couldnt know the future.

But does that change anything? Does it make it easier for the children? Or Lucy?

Barbara hid her face in her hands. Shed believed things were finally looking up for Lucy and her familybut now they were back to square one. Worse, even; renting again but this time with two children.

Time passed

Lucy and Matthew finally cleared the debt with the bank, a relief in itself.

So, what now? Barbara asked.

Saving again, for another place, Lucy confessed. Maybe something smaller, this time.

Thats fine, Barbara nodded, whether her daughter could see her or not. As long as its yours.

Two more years slipped by. Harry turned six, and Barbara arrived for his birthday clutching a giant boxshed spent hours picking out the perfect construction set with cars and a garage, just what Harry had talked about all winter.

Gran! The boy flung himself into her arms. Is this for me?

All for you, Barbara kissed his head. And just wait, theres more.

Barbara pulled an envelope from her bag and handed it to Harry. He peeked inside, eyes wide.

How much is that?

Two hundred pounds, Barbara crouched down. You wanted a new phone, didnt you? Theres a startGran will help you save.

Harry hugged the envelope to his chest and dashed off to show Sophie. Lucy stood in the kitchen doorway watching, her expression unreadablebut Barbara didnt think twice about it.

A fortnight later, Barbara called her grandson. Harry answered on the third ring.

Hi Gran!

Hello, love! How are you? Everything alright?

Brilliant! Harry raved. Mum bought me new shorts and T-shirts for summer, and trainers that light up!

Barbaras eyebrows shot up.

New clothes? Where did your parents get the money?

Mum used the ones you gave me, Harry said cheerfully. She reckons we can get the phone later, but the clothes were more important.

Barbara froze, her phone pressed to her ear. That burn in her chest started to risehot and heavy.

Put your mum on, will you? Barbara asked quietly.

Shes busy

Okay, sweetheart. Bye.

Barbara ended the call and sat, unmoving, for ten minutes. Evidently, her daughter needed a talking-toagain.

The next morning, Barbara turned up at Lucys door before breakfast.

How could you? Barbara couldnt keep the outrage from her voice. I gave that money to Harry! Him, not you!

Lucy just rubbed her eyes, clearly exhausted.

Mum, calm down.

What?! Barbara exploded. He was saving for a phone! I gave him the money so he could save it! And you spent it all!

Lucys face turned to stone.

I did what I thought was right.

Right? Barbara sputtered. How is buying shorts with someone elses money right?

He needed summer clothes, Lucy said quietly. We didnt have any extra to spare.

And you couldnt ask me first? Barbara stepped closer. You couldnt at least talk to me about it?

No, Mum, Lucy shook her head. This is my home. Ill decide how money gets used, and that really isnt your business.

Not my business? Barbara’s voice rose. You think its not my business how you handle money? You already messed up the mortgage, lost your flat! Its clear you dont know what youre doing!

Lucy went pale, but said nothing.

Now youre taking money off the kidshameful! Absolute disgrace!

Go home, Mum, Lucy said quietly. Please. Just go.

Barbara turned and left without a goodbye, her anger simmering. Her daughter was clearly in the wrongand kicked her out, too! Shed seeLucy would come crawling back for forgiveness.

But a month went by, and Lucy didnt call or reply to messages.

Barbara sat in Carols kitchen again, shredding a paper napkin in her hands.

Shes cut me off, Barbara shook her head. My own daughter. Wont let me see the grandchildren, wont take my calls.

Carol topped up her tea.

What did you say to her?

I told the truth! Barbara bristled. That they dont know how to handle money, that theyre hopeless! Was I wrong?

Carol stared out the window, silent for a moment.

Barbara, you gave that money to your grandson?

Course I did.

It was a gift, so it wasnt yours anymore, Carol turned to her. You handed it over.

But it was for a phone!

And they bought clothes instead, Carol shrugged. He needed clothes for summer more than a phone.

Barbara opened her mouth, but Carol stopped her.

And you know, you were wrong to bring up the mortgage. They spent years paying off that debt, working, raising the kidsand then you called them hopeless.

I meant well, Barbara sagged. I really do worry about them.

I know, Carol nodded. But worry turned to hurtful words. Maybe you ought to call firstapologise?

Barbara pursed her lips, stubbornly looking away. No way. Shes the eldershe only ever wanted the best for them.