You’re a Wife, You Must Endure – After Hearing These Words from My Mother-in-Law, I Felt Even Worse

When a wedding unfolds within a family, the very air crackles with excitement and nerves. Marriage sweeps everyone up in its tide of joy and anticipation.

Yet, for reasons Ive never quite understood, people always look at things from just one perspectiveeven though, like every coin, life has two sides.

Now, its not that I believe marriage is some dreadful fate. Its just that many women still labour under the illusion that true happiness lies solely in finding a husband and building a family. In truth, most young women dont really understand what marriage entails.

Their main goal is simply to marry, thinking everything else will fall neatly into place.

Let me tell you about my own experience. I once believed that if I married the man I loved and had his child, Id surely be the happiest woman alive.

Unfortunately, my marriage brought with it a host of new problems. We hadnt even begun saving for a home when I discovered I was pregnant. Nowadays, bringing a child into the world is frightfully expensive.

We were delighted by the news, of course. My husband ran his own small business while I went on maternity leave, grappling with our precarious finances. Forget saving for a housejust keeping afloat was a challenge. I struggled through those early months of motherhood. My son was restlessseemingly ill constantlyI barely slept, and my nerves frayed to the point I could hardly recognise myself. Sometimes I thought about simply running away. Not every woman is cut out to hold together the pieces of family life.

I wish Id understood this sooner. By the time my son turned two, my husbands business collapsed. He spiraled into deep despair. And where there is despair, a bottle or two of whisky is never far behind. I was left with no option but to seize control myself. I enrolled my son in nursery and found two full-time jobs. I worked myself to the bone to just about keep us going, while my husband spent his days sleeping off yet another hangover. The burden was excruciatingthere were moments I wanted to scream out loud. Had I been alone, it wouldnt have been so badthe exhaustion, the finances, my crumbling sanity.

One day, desperation drove me to ask my mother-in-law to have a word with her son, to try and bring him back to his senses. It isnt considered proper for a man to simply fold and give up all responsibility. I laid my heart bare to her as well, confessing how much I was struggling, that I was barely hanging on.

I hoped for some comfort, some kind words. Instead, she offered me this: Youre not the only one whos had to weather a hard patch. But as a woman, youre the one who must bear it. Its not your place to be frail. Youre the glue holding your family together, so bite your tongue when you feel like shouting and blink back your tears. Whatever hand youre dealt, get on with it. Dont complain!

Her words struck me through, sharp as a knife.

Shes a woman herself. I know shes suffered as well, and yet, instead of urging us to support each other, she told me to close my eyes to it all and simply endure. But how much can one person endure? We get only one life, and isnt it meant to be lived as sweetly and joyfully as we can? There will always be hurdles, but not like this. A woman deserves to be cheerful and cherished.