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Вистояла! Справжня дружина

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Він залишив мене, коли дізнався, що я вагітна. Напевно, я просто не помітила, що він не так сильно любить мене, як мені здавалося. Ні він, ні його батьки, ні сестра, з якою я була близька, навіть не захотіли поглянути на свою доньку-внучку-непотрібницю. Але я нічого і не вимагала. Кожен зробив свій вибір: він знайшов нову подругу, а я народила дитину без чоловіка.

Одного разу мама сказала: «Іди. Пущу назад, якщо зробиш аборт». Мама виховувала мене без батька, вона не хотіла такої ж долі для доньки. Вона мала на це право. Але я ніколи не скажу своїй доньці чогось подібного.

Ми будемо підтримкою і опорою одна для одної. У нашому домі не буде нарікань через нестачу грошей або чоловічої допомоги. Я лише закінчила інститут і вже працювала, але вдалося оселитися в студентському гуртожитку і навіть отримати малосімейку. На зарплату придбала трохи меблів та домашнього начиння. У мене ж нічого не було. Які там соки-фрукти для вагітної!

Головне, що вистачило хоч на хліб з молоком. Були моменти втоми, сліз і неймовірної недосипаності. Але я не хотіла, щоб мене жаліли. Я посміхалася. До мене часто заходили гості, його друзі. Я говорила про нього тільки добре, не думала про образи. Мені потрібні були сили для дитини, яку я носила під серцем. Одного дня я почула фразу: ніхто тобі нічого не винен. Це звучало грубо, але було правдою. Чому хтось повинен мене рятувати, якщо я сама взяла відповідальність за своє життя і за життя маленької людини?

Донечка народилася в грудні. Новий рік ми вже зустрічали з нею. Мої нові друзі-студенти збиралися, грали на гітарі, пили чай, допомагали прати пелюшки по черзі. Малеча також допомагала, як могла: їла і спала, а між тим радісно гулила. Багато хто казав, що в нашому домі панує дивовижно радісна атмосфера. І одного разу я помітила, як один зі студентів став частіше приходити і залишатися довше.

Він був добрим, вправним і, між іншим, симпатичним. Саша на 4 роки молодший за мене. Я поставила замок на своєму серці, заборонила собі будувати плани і раділа кожній хвилині, коли ми були разом. А потім я побачила його маму. Вона попросила у нього дозволу нас відвідати і… в перший же день назвала мене донечкою.

Тепер ми з чоловіком живемо в іншому гуртожитку. Все в кімнаті зроблено його руками. Він каже, що я – ідеальна дружина. З моєю мамою ми помирилися. Вона обожнює свою внучку. На вихідні ми їздимо до його батьків у сусіднє місто. Там Варка кидається до своєї другої бабусі, і два дні вони не відходять один від одного.

З острахом думаю: якби я втримала поруч людину, яка мене не любила, чи було б у мене це щастя? Тільки чоловік, який мене не помічає, свекруха, впевнена, що я зруйнувала життя її сина, почуття провини та сльози в подушку.

Бог дав мені набагато більше, ніж я просила.

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