З життя
Today I Want to Share My Story: I Became a Mother at a Very Young Age – Because of a Mistake and a Lack of Support
Today I feel like sharing a bit of my story. I became a father at quite a young age the result of a mistake and not having anyone to lean on. My daughter is three now, and although it hasnt been easy finding my way, Ive learned to get by. There are days when it all weighs heavily on me, as Im the only one responsible for her wellbeing. Her mother has never taken any responsibility whatsoever.
Im writing this with a head full of worries because recently everything feels more complicated, and Im not sure how to move forward. I feel emotionally drained. Sometimes I lose all motivation, but then I look at my daughter and remember why I must keep going. My aim is to give her the love I never received from my own parents.
My father left when I was born. My mother never showed me any real affectionat least not in any way that stuck with me. She always put her partners and their kids first. If I needed clothes or shoes, I had to figure out a way myself; asking her was out of the question. Shed say she couldnt afford it, but somehow there was always money for her partners childrens birthdays. When my birthday came around, she often didnt even remember.
I watched as she gave the best to others, and I kept quiet, because if I dared to speak up, I was called ungrateful. I remember my school shoes falling apart because Id worn them for a second year in a row. I tried to patch them so the damage wouldnt show. My mum saw it, but said nothing. Only three days later, she was buying a shiny new pair of shoes for her partners daughter because the old ones werent nice anymore.
Many nights, I cried silently, wondering why my mother wanted them and not me. One day, I realised I was just a burden to her. That was the day I decided to leave. She didnt care. She didnt even try to find me. I started making my own way through life. It was hard a struggle full of sacrifice but I never gave up.
A good four or five years later, I found out her partner had left her for someone younger, and his children had gone to live with their real mother. She was left all alone. I felt a pang of sadness for her, but really didnt know if there was anything I could do.
Sometimes I think about reaching out and asking how shes getting on. But Im scared shell still see me with the same eyes of rejection. Perhaps its best we just continue like thisnot knowing about each others lives. If anyones reading this, what would you do in my place?
If Ive learned anything, its this: I dont want to repeat my parents mistakes. My daughter deserves love, and I want to be the one to give it to her, even when its difficultespecially then.
