Madam Veronica, may I come in? – One of her deputy managers stood frozen at the director’s office door.

Mrs. Harriet, may I have a word? one of her deputy managers hesitated at the door of her office.

Yes, come in, Edward. Harriet nodded, keeping things brisk and businesslike. So, hows it going today?

Going? Where, exactly?

Out on the shop floor.

Ah, right. Everythings fine out there. Why do you ask?

Well, surely you didnt stop by just for a chat. You must want to talk about work.

Actually, yes, theres something I need to discuss with you or rather, to ask.

To ask? Harriet raised an eyebrow, giving Edward a curious look. Oh, Edward, youve not been yourself lately.

Not myself?

Yes. Youve seemed down. Like youve got troubles at home or something. Is everything alright with your family?

Well, if Im honest not really. Things are about to get rather bad, unless you can help me out with something.

Help you out?

Yes, thats right. I need you to write something for me. For my wife.

Sorry? Harriet blinked in confusion. Write what exactly for your wife?

I know its odd, but Edward looked absolutely miserable. Theres really no other way. I need you to give me a letter. About us.

A letter? What do you mean, about us?

Just a note saying that nothings ever happened between us, and never will.

Nothings ever what?

Nothing untoward you know, like a relationship sort of thing. His face started to go tomato red. As a woman and a man.

Are you joking, Edward? Harriet, on the other hand, went a bit pale. Or are you winding me up on purpose?

I wish I were. But this honestly could make or break my marriage. My wifes convinced herself Im having an affair with you.

Harriet stared at him, mouth slightly open, then managed to ask carefully:

Has she completely lost it? Making her husband bring in a letter like that Ive honestly never heard anything like it. Not even something out of EastEnders!

I know, I know! Edward sighed, rubbing his brow. But what choice do I have? Weve got the kids. My wife said if you dont confirm, in writing, that were only manager and deputy, shell file for divorce. Then shell take the children to her mums in Newcastle. Thats practically the other end of the country. So please I beg you just write this silly note for her.

Edward! Harriet shook her head, unable to quite believe this conversation was real. Why on earth does your wife have this idea in her head anyway? She and I have never even spoken, have we? And theres never been nor could there be lipstick marks on your shirts. Wheres she getting her stories from?

This Edward reached inside his jacket, took out his phone, found a photo, and handed it over. She saw this and just flipped.

What am I supposed to see? Harriet squinted at the photo: the entire management team crowded together, looking proud. Ive got the same picture. Its from when the Mayor gave us all those certificates.

Exactly. But see, were stood right next to each other. My hands on your shoulder.

Because we had to squeeze in! There were so many of us.

True. But look at the way your head tilts. Lucy reckons only women enamoured with a man lean in like that.

What?! Harriet was getting annoyed. Thats nonsense! Does she need her eyesight checked? I leaned in so Staceys massive bunch of flowers wouldnt block my face!

I tried explaining all that, really I did, but the more I protested, the more suspicious she got. Im absolutely done for unless you write a letter. I swear.

But surely not! Harriet protested again. Edward, are you really so henpecked that youre terrified of your own wife?

Yes. Absolutely. He half-whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. Because of the kids. I honestly cant be without them, Harriet. You understand, dont you?

This is all a bit mad Harriet huffed, but pulled a fresh sheet of paper from the pile anyway. Fine, if you really need this, dictate away.

Okay Edward mumbled, Write: I, Harriet Evans, confirm that I cannot stand my deputy, Edward Wright.

Harriet looked up at him in surprise but he just waved her to continue.

Yes, yes, just like that. Cant stand him. And add: and in fact, I despise him.

Despise him? Do you realise how odd this sounds? How can I work with a man I despise?

Well, say you despise me as a man. And would never, not for a million pounds, sleep with me. Now just sign at the bottom and bang on an office stamp, for good measure.

The stamps in accounts, Harriet murmured automatically, but as she reread the note, she shuddered.

This is just total rubbish! No way am I sending this out! she said with finality, folded the sheet, and promptly tore it up. Then tore it again, just for good measure.

What are you doing? Edward nearly panicked. That was important! I need that for Lucy!

You know what, Edward Harriet suddenly grinned ruefully. Ive got a better idea. You ought to file for divorce from Lucy, before she really does your head in.

What? No! I cant! Shell take the kids. She definitely will.

No, she wont. Harriets grin widened. I know a brilliant solicitor, really knows his stuff. Hell make sure the children stay put, with you.

But I

And if you need help she interrupted Ill help with the kids myself.

You? Really? Personally?

Absolutely. Youre a great deputy manager. Ill find you a fantastic nanny, promise. Youll be just fine.

And Lucy?

Well, Lucy can pop off to Newcastle if she fancies. Or, she can pop into my office, and well have a proper heart-to-heart, just the two of us. Thatll do far more good than some daft stamped note anyway.