A Little Joke

A Little Joke

Ellie! Ellie! Let me copy your answers!

Hazels stage whisper darted across the classroom, causing Mrs. Mayfield to look up from her ever-growing pile of paperwork.

Hazel Carter! Behave, would you? Do your own work.

But Mrs. Mayfield, its hard! Hazel, as usual, missed not a beat.

No one said itd be easy. Besides, Ellie has a different set of questions. So theres really no point pestering her.

How come? Shes in the front row!

Thats exactly why. She got a special sheet, Mrs. Mayfield chuckled, doing a rather accurate impression of Hazels baffled tone.

Well, thats just not fair! Hazel scowled at her notebook, but was soon back to scouring the room for another lifeline.

No one noticed how Ellie shrank behind her desk, praying she wouldnt have to look up.

Every teacher knew Ellie Matthews was the go-to smart kid for the entire class. Oh, how convenient it was to have a brainy friend! As for saying nowell, thatd only result in half the class sulking for a week.

Ellie wasnt mean about it. She did sneak people a few answers, but strictly under her mums advice, tried to do it so she wouldnt catch any flak from the teachers.

Ellie darling, I know youre a kind girl. But remember to look out for yourself too. If you want to go where youve dreamt of, youll need a good set of GCSEs. Dont ruin them over kids who cant be bothered to learn a couple of rules.

Her mums words were sensible, but Ellie could only sigh. If only Mum knew how tricky it was to be the top pupil in a class where no one else cared about anything at all

Ellies mum had moved her to this school after the divorce. Thered been plenty of reasons, not least that Ellies little brother was growing up in Dads new family. Great, except hed arrived before the marriage was even finished. Because adults deal with things their way, no one bothered to explain anything to Ellie. She just sat with her sketchbook, methodically filling page after page with black crayon. Not a sliver of colour in sight.

Luckily, her grandmother was the first one to notice.

What on earth is going on? Look what youve done to the poor child!

Gran was Mums ex-mother-in-law, but strangely, she took Mums side on most things.

Hes just like his father, you know! Out gallivanting half the time we were together. It’s in his nature… Rotten luck. Spitting image, except my Ron always came back home on his ownand managed it without the extra baggage.

And you forgave him?

What choices did I have, Livvy? I loved him. And you know, I knew he loved me too. Otherwise, why would he bother coming back again and again?

Was it hard to forgive?

Hard is putting it mildly. Never quite forgave him, really. More like suffered through it. Sometimes I wonder: why? Who was it even for? Thing is, theres no point now. But you, maybe its not so strange, but you should be grateful his new child came along at the right (or wrong) time. Because I can see you, Olivia. Youre too much like meyoud have forgiven him, taken him back too, wouldnt you?

I dont know It hurts too much.

I get it. But the person caught in the middle now is Ellie. For her sake, spare her. My son wont listen to me, but youve always had sense. Think how to make sure Ellie doesnt wind up being the only casualty. Shes innocent in all this

Yes, youre right. Its only us to blame

No one saw it coming: Ellies mum sat her six-year-old down and explained the whole thing.

Ellie, your dad and I wont live together anymore. Were splitting up. You and I will live together, and youll see Dad at weekends or whenever he can. But Ellie, dont cry! Look at meDads still your dad! He isnt going anywhere, I promise!

And you? Ellie smeared angry tears down her cheeks. Grownups, honestly. Always doing things their way.

Im not leaving you, am I?

Dont go

Only then did Olivia understand why her daughter kept drawing those black pages. It took some time, but eventually Ellie learned not to be scared anymore. She saw her dad when she could, not as often as shed like, but enough. Shed figured out Dad didnt leave herhe left Mum. He never stopped spoiling Ellie and managed to keep it all civil with Olivia. Holidays at his house, weekends spent with her new brother, even getting along with Dads new wife, Claire, who turned out to be fairly pleasant and fond of kids. No one had anything left to fight over, really.

Still, it all left a mark. Ellie sometimes wondered if Dad left because she wasnt enoughor not the right kind of enough. He was happy with Claire, raising a son and planning more kids. So why didnt he want to bring up Ellie? Wasnt she good enough?

Gran and Mum said otherwise, of course, insisting everyone loved her. Yet the little worm of doubt was stubbornit hid itself away, only popping up when Ellie needed confidence most.

It wasnt too obvious at first. Apart from her knees quaking, Ellie handled her first year of school alrightuntil she was called to recite a poem at assembly.

Shed practiced for a week with her mum, reciting it into the bathroom mirror with feeling. In nursery shows shed always had the starring role, because everyone knew Ellie would learn her lines and deliver them on cue.

This time, however, when she took the microphone, she went completely blank. She spotted her family in the crowd and froze, tears streaming down her face as the words vanished. The Deputy Head, whod handed her the mic, crouched down, dabbed her tears away and whispered, Will you say it for me later?

Ellie nodded helplessly.

Lucky for her, Mrs. Mayfield remembered. She caught Ellie outside the school gate afterwards.

There you are! Will you tell me the poem now? Id really love to hear it!

Youd think forgetting a poem in Year One wouldnt matter. But for Ellie, nothing was more important in that moment. She stood tall, let go of Mums hand and recited her poemword perfectwhile the adults standing nearby gave her a round of applause.

Well done! I knew you could do it!

But I didnt do it earlier Ellies eyes filled with tears again.

Who says you didnt? You just did, didnt you! And lookeveryone clapped for you! Doesnt matter if it was now, or at assembly. Ellie, youre brilliant! Thats me, as Deputy Head, saying ityou got that?

I think so

She remembered that moment forever, glad when Mrs. Mayfield later became her form tutor and, therefore, a proper allysomeone she could trust.

And Mrs. Mayfield did keep an eye out.

Your Ellie is a sensitive one! So helpful and bright, but fragile! You know, shed fit better at one of those maths specialist schoolstheyre all keen beans there. This is a regular comp, after all. Most of our kids dont have a clue or a plan. Its hard for Ellie. She tries not to stand outcovers herself up, like triple-wrapping in duvets. Understand?

Olivia did, but nothing could be done just yet. The maths school was miles away, in another part of town, and there was no one available to take Ellie. Her dads family was expecting another baby; Gran was ill, and Olivia herself was working two jobs to afford a place bigger than their tiny flat.

Hang on a bit, Ellie. Once I sort out a few things, well figure out school, okay? Olivia would say, falling asleep on the sofa with Ellie beside her.

Dont worry, Mum. I dont mind waiting

Hows school, love?

Its alright! Ellie would reply as cheerfully as she could, though things at school werent so alright.

Alright? Its never just alright. Go on, tell me, and I want all the details!

Ellie giggled, twisted away from a round of playful tickling, and then spilled everything.

Truth be told, no one in class really bullied Ellie. But behind her back shed hear: There goes Ellie, showing off again! Did you hear her answer in that history lesson? Greatnow none of us stands a chance. Couldnt she just answer like a normal person?

No one said it to her face, but eventually the day came.

Ellie! Ten minutes! I havent written a thing! Hazel hissed, desperate, and Ellie slid her scrap paper over under the desk.

Mrs. Mayfield was distracted by an incoming email and missed Hazels performance.

Sam, her desk mate since Year Three, wordlessly shifted his book towards her so she could see Hazels version of the problem.

Thanks, Ellie whispered, pointing out a mistake. Sam nodded, fixed his work, and that was thatyears of friendship needed no extra words.

Ellies scrap paper magically appeared on Hazels desk, and the rest of the lesson was blissfully quiet.

Then the bell rang, and all hell broke loose.

Whats up with you? Sat there like a statue! End of term and Ive got nothing! And yousome friend! Hazel raged, thumping Ellies desk.

Haze, youre being unfair. Ellies voice was calm, though inside, she was seething.

Why do I owe anyone anything?!

That kind of phrasefor heavens sake!was Grans go-to. Shed banned swearing, so Ellie had grown up with her own stock of mild alternative exclamations.

Youre a young lady, not a docker! Behave like one! Gran used to insist.

But youre a lady, Gran, and you swear!

Im a second-hand lady, pet! Ive earned my ciggies and a cuss or two. You havent! Its not pretty. Take it from me. Youre not washing your mouth out with soap, are you?

But the boys swear!

Thats different. And remember: things men get away with, you cant always. Its a strange old world. You dont want to end up just one of the lads for your dream bloke, do you?

Why not?

Because real lads dont marry their lad-friends, Ellie! Theyll pal up with you, but marry somebody else. See?

I think so Gran, was Mum and Dads thing a bit like that too?

In a way. But talk to them about it. And remember, theres a magic about being a womana bit of mystery, softness, like in your favourite poem. Swearing just isnt poetic. Trust me.

What is it then?

Something else entirely. Dont push me, Ellie May Matthews!

Remembering youre a lady, are you, Gran? Ellie collapsed in giggles.

Every now and again! Its hard, love, but someones got to remember.

Now, Ellie really wanted to hurl some choice Hazel-isms, but something inside told her it would only make things worse.

Leave her alone, Hazel, Sam said, gruffly cramming his physics book into his bag. Not everythings about you.

Friends arent supposed to act that way! Hazel slammed the desk again, glaring at both of them. Oh, shut up, Sam! You copy too!

I do NOT! Ellies patience finally snapped. Sam does his own work! I just point out mistakes sometimes. And you! I helped you, didnt I? So whats your problem?!

Snatching up her bag, Ellie shoved past Hazel and escaped, just before tears took over in front of the whole class, which was watching the scene with relish.

Hazel didnt follow, but muttered under her breath, Well see, Matthews. Youll get yours Learn a bit of humility, Ellie, just a bit

No talking that day. Nor the next. Nor for a week.

Hazel froze Ellie out, and the class was on red alert, wondering how their resident drama queen would get her revenge.

Imagination was never in short supplyHazel was always creative with her retribution. If you crossed her, life became a comic opera, just not a funny one.

Ellie braced herself for whatever would happen next. But what she got was unexpected.

Ellie, come on! Youve spent two weeks being all huff and woe is me. Lets call it quits, yeah? Hazel beamed so sincerely that Ellie almost, almost melted.

Im not sulking.

Course not! Sure thing! Anyway, lets forget it. What are you doing for New Year? Staying home, or going somewhere?

Hazel sounded totally over it, and Ellie relaxed. People do lose their tempersmaybe this was nothing.

Oh, if only. Letting her guard down was never a good idea when Hazel was involved.

So when Ellie found a mystery note in her bag, she never made the connection.

Ellie! I really like you! Sam.

The writing was suspiciously like Sams, her long-time desk mate. It never crossed her mind that someone else mightve written it.

How could Ellie have guessed that Hazel, after a week of sneaking around, had recruited Mrs. Green the English teacher to carry exercise books for herjust so shed spot someone with handwriting like Sams, then roped in girls from the year above and cooked up this entire caper?

There you go, darling, you can suffer with the rest of us! Hazel grinned, slipping the note into Ellies bag and zipping it closed.

Over in the PE changing rooms, Ellie was deep in a volleyball serve, while Hazels mates kept her busy.

Bit feeble, Ellie! Put some welly into it!

No one gave even a flicker when Ellie found the note.

Whats this? Ooh, Ellie! Well, you dark horse! Girls, look! Sams got a crush on Ellie! Hazel snatched the paper and did a victory lap, waving it like a flag.

Hazel, give it back!

Oh, chill out! Or No, youre right! No need for a planSAM! Hey, Sam!

Hazel dashed into the boys changing room, banging on the door.

Ellie went pale.

Only her diary (and possibly Mum) knew she liked Sam.

That bad, Mum?

Why?

Isnt it too soon?

Ellie, its never too soon for a crush.

Sois this love?

I dont think so, sweetheart. Its more the beginning. Infatuation. Lovely, but different.

How?

Well, imagine youre standing on the threshold, peeking into all sorts: joy, happiness, even a bit of heartache.

Why heartache, Mum?

Because loves a strong thing, Ellie. It brings a lot. Tricky, really. But life without it isnt worth much. We all search for itnot sure why, maybe because no one likes being alone. The point is, we want someone to hold our hand, support us, be by our side Its hard to find, harder still to trust and to let that person in. But even standing at the thresholdits wonderful! Just the anticipation.

Have you ever felt anything better?

Honestly? Only the day you were born.

So this is good?

Its brilliant, as long as you keep your head.

Mum

All right, Ill shut up! I trust you. Just tell me about this boy, will you? Do I know him?

Yes

Ellie protected her secret like a precious bit of glass, not daring to give it awayyet utterly glad she had it.

But now

Hazel clearly put two and two togetherEllies reaction when reading the note, the way she glanced at the changing-room door, sizing up if Sam could have slipped it in her bag (he hadnthed been on the volleyball court too).

The boys tumbled out, half-laughing, as Hazel paraded the note, Ellie blanching beside the lockers.

Whats going on here?

Mrs. Mayfield materialised from thin air, as she always did when students least wanted her to.

Miss! Weve had a development! Hazel blew a kiss at the note and flourished it. Wedding bells, Miss! Sams in love with Ellie!

Hazel, what nonsense is this? What are you holding?

Just a note! From Sam to Ellieshes his crush!

A ripple of laughter began but was quickly smothered by Mrs. Mayfields look.

Quiet! Ellielove?

At that moment, Ellie remembered that first assembly: her tears, Mrs. Mayfields calm faith. You have nothing to fear. I know you can do it.

And suddenly, Ellie straightened up, moved away from the lockers and stopped in front of Mrs. Mayfield, who was looking at her kindly.

Hazel took my note. I didnt want anyone to see it.

I see. Sam? Mrs. Mayfield turned to the boys.

And, unpredictably, Sam, pushing through the lads, came up to Hazel and plucked the note from her hand.

You shouldnt read other peoples letters, Hazel!

Youre lying! Hazel squeaked, realising shed lost.

No jeering, no mockery, no torment for Ellie after all. But Hazel would never understand it took all of Ellies courage just to hold her head high.

But thisright nowsomething inside her changed. And she kept her chin up, not out of fear, but for something better.

A weird tickling fluttered between her shoulder bladessurely not wings? Ridiculous. People dont fly!

So why did she feel like she might, right there on that battered old school parquet, soaring far above it all?

Hazel? Mrs. Mayfield arched an eyebrow.

What? I was just joking! Hes lying, lying Hazel was on the verge of tears.

Give it back, Sam said, rolling up the note and placing it in Ellies hand. For you. And dont show anyone else what I write, yeah? By the way, Miss, is there still an essay today? Mrs. Green promised and I havent done it.

Brilliant! At least youre honest about it! There willand youll get your topic once we get inside. Now, all of you, get a move on! Bells gone and youre still not changed. NOW!

And with that, 7M tore out of the changing room, ignoring a fuming Hazel, two sheepish lovebirds and the little scrap of paper Ellie clutched in her fist.

She would stick it into her diary and keep it foreveruntil the day of her wedding, when shed hand over that battered old book to Sam.

Here you go, husband.

Whats this, wife?

The start of us

And youd trust me enough to read it?

You already know most of it!

No. Not everything.

Whats left then? Ellie would press close as the roomful of guests clapped and shouted Kiss! Kiss!

Remember you told me about standing on the threshold, the door to love?

Yeah?

Did you ever step over?

Her eyes would shine as Sam, above the din, catches her whispered answer:

I did. And I closed that door behind me. Im not just infatuated anymore, Sam.

Really? Sam grinned.

Yeah. I love you. Got it now?

Got it. Shall we kiss, Ellie?

Lets!They kissed, of coursesoft, awkward, breathless from laughter. The crowd exploded in cheers, Mrs. Mayfield dabbing discreetly at her eyes, pretending she had something in them. Sams hand found Ellies beneath the table, warm and steady, and for the first time in all those years, Ellie didnt worry about not being enough. She watched Hazel in the third row, rolling her eyes but grinning in spite of herself, and Gran winking from the aisle, mouthing, Told you so, darling!

Ellie thought of her diary, bursting with secrets: black pages giving way to colour, mathematics scrawled between poems, love notes folded into ancient homework. All those pieces she used to hide, now scattered in the open, shimmering in the joy of being seen.

Someone popped confetti and a spiral of green and gold fluttered around them. Ellie squeezed Sams hand tighter, marvelling at how light she felthow effortless flying could be once you stopped wrapping yourself in extra layers.

Later, under the starlight, as friends toasted, Hazel sidled up, bashful.

Sorry, Ellie, she muttered, trying for nonchalance but crooking a sincere little smile. You know for that terrible joke. Youre a better friend than I ever deserved.

Ellie laughed, a clear, ringing sound. Thats the point, Haze. Friendship is the best kind of joke. You can always start over and never run out of punchlines.

Hazel snorted, and they hugged, a real one this time, no drama, no audiencejust two girls with the past behind them and an open door ahead.

Ellies mum danced with Gran, Dad spun her little brother in circles, and everyones laughter melted beneath the music. Ellie looked out over all of themthe fractured, mended, tangled threads of her lifeand realised she didnt wish for anything to be different. Every part, every scraped knee and trembling poem, had led her here. To Sam, and confetti, and a story that finally belonged, dazzling and real, to her.

You ready? Sam whispered, lips brushing her ear.

She smiled, heart full to bursting. Lets fly.