False Beauty

False Beauty

No way! Have you really split up? I cant believe it! Emma stared at me with such astonishment that I actually felt a bit embarrassed. Her eyes widened comically, eyebrows practically vanishing into her hairline, lips parted in disbelief at the news. But you were crazy about Lucy! I told everyone how perfect you were together I even used your relationship as an example! I used to dream about a love like yours.

Its true, Em, as incredible as it sounds I muttered, glancing gloomily out the window. The English weather was in full forcecold sheets of rain lashed the glass, rivulets streaming down and splitting into tiny droplets. It matched my mood perfectly. Five years together, and now all I felt was emptiness. A hollow in my chest that used to be full of her smiles, her gentle hugs, shared dreams about the future. I clenched my fists so tight my knuckles turned white, and my voice shook as I went on, Its over, you understand? Really over

But why? Emma insisted, leaning in with concern etched across her pretty face. Lucy waited for you for half a year while you were away for work! She was absolutely loyalyou know Id hear if there was any funny business.

How would you know? You live in London. Lucys all the way up in York. I gave a melancholy half-smile. Bit of female solidarity, is it?

I might live miles away, Harry, but you seem to forget how good my network is. She settled back in her armchair, folded her arms and offered a sly, sympathetic smile as worry shone in her eyes. I have plenty of friends in York. I knew she got serious about fixing her looksnot every detail, but enough. Changed her hair, joined a gym, bought a whole new wardrobe. All while you were away. Lucy put her heart into it.

Thats why we broke up! I snapped, springing up towards the hallway to grab my phone from my coat. My movements were sharp, almost franticas if I could run from my thoughts. After a desperate rummage, I returned to the living room. If Emma saw this one photo, maybe shed finally understand. You remember what Lucy looked like before I left?

Of course, Emma rolled her eyes a touch, then paused to summon up an image. Such a sweet girl. Long, straight blonde hair to her shoulder blades, bright blue eyes, a tiny nose She had a nice figure, although not exactly curvy, but you always said you liked it.

Exactly. I loved everything about her! My voice cracked before falling to a hoarse whisper. I gripped the phone tight, my eyes icy. Lucy was perfect to me. But the moment I left, her mates got in her headconvinced her Id leave unless she changed. And she believed them. She only changed because they said shed lose me otherwise, not because she wanted to herself.

But is it really so bad? Emma asked carefully, clutching the armrest as a shadow of dread flickered over her face.

Just look! I jabbed the phone at her, nearly pressing it under her nose. On the screen was Lucybut nothing like the girl Emma remembered.

Her gorgeous blonde hair, which shed always been so proud of, was now hacked back to nearly nothing, bleached to a ghastly platinum. The short cut showed off her neck and ears but stripped away the softness shed once had. Her lips, swollen and shiny, were so overfilled they looked fakeutterly unrecognisable on her delicate face. Shed lost a stone, but the results were gauntnessnot slimness: protruding collarbones, ribs visible under her pale, almost translucent skin, bony arms, dark circles under her eyes as if she hadnt slept in weeks. And, to top it all, shed had a breast augmentationsomething shed once insisted shed never do. She knew how much I valued natural beauty, how I could never understand the urge to drastically alter oneself.

There I was, walking out at Heathrow, and Lucys there waiting for me. I actually considered walking straight past her, I ground out. I turned and punched the wall, swearing quietly at the jolt of pain. How could she do this to herself in just half a year? Why didnt she think about what matters to me? Why did she let someone convince her that I wouldnt love her as she was?

I couldnt sit stillpacing from one end of the room to the other, hands waving as I relived it all. My face flushed, then turned pale. I balled my fists and then scrubbed my hands over my face, desperately wishing I could unsee that image.

Emma knew all about my constant complaintsthe tyrant boss whod sent me off on this damn six-month assignment in Glasgow. She knew I really didnt want to leave Lucy on her own. But I had to finish my degree, the firm needed me in town, and staying wasnt an option. Every day Id ring Lucy, tell her how much I missed her. I tried to support her, but when I got back, she was like a stranger.

Harry, maybe she just wanted to please you? Emma tried, coming over. Maybe she thought youd be happy if she changed

I gave a bitter laugh and shook my head. Please me? But she lost herself! I loved her as she was Now I dont even know who she is.

One thing that kept gnawing at me was how Lucy refused to video call. Every time I suggested it, shed brush me offsmiling down the phone and promising she was working on a surprise for me. Sure, it sounded cute, but in my gut, I hated it. She was so keen to avoid being seen. Was she hiding someone new? Was she planning to dump me and couldnt bear to do it over a call? The suspicion ate at me; I could barely focus at work.

Eventually, I caved and asked my friend Tomwho lives uptown near Lucyto check in discreetly. He agreed, a bit reluctantly.

A couple of days later, Tom rang.

Shes definitely planning something big, mate, he said, voice careful. Im not sure youll like it, though. Youll be shocked. But she hasnt got anyone else, thats for certain. She talks about you all the time, keeps asking when youre back.

Those words did calm me. I managed a relieved smile. Maybe I was worrying for nothingsurely it wouldnt be as bad as all that. Most importantly, she wasnt lying, she wasnt seeing someone else. Just the thought that she was waiting for me kept me warm through the last miserable weeks.

Now, I realise refusing Toms offer to send a photo was a massive mistake. Hed been all ready to show me what Lucy was up to, but I said, NoI want the surprise. If Id accepted, maybe I couldve talked her out of all those drastic changes. Hell, Id have quit my job and sprinted up there! Given her mates a piece of my mind But now it was too late.

On the day of my return, nerves nearly ate me alive. I checked my watch every minute, tapped my fingers on the planes armrest, fidgeted in the back of the taxi. My hands sweated; my heart pounded so loud I was sure others would hear it. I pictured it all: stepping through arrivals, seeing Lucy smiling, waving, rushing into my arms, breathing in the scent of her hair. Going back to the flat, making tea, trading stories about every daft thing wed missed.

None of it happened.

When I finally saw Lucy at the airport exit, I stopped dead. The girl in front of me was nothing like the one I remembered. Shed changed so much that, for a split second, I thought I was looking for the wrong person. I blinked, trying to work out what I was seeing, a cold dread settling inside.

Harry! Ive missed you so much! She ran up, arms out for a hug, but I just took a step back, not letting her near. Her smile faltered, a flicker of pain in her eyes, her hands awkward in the air. She hovered, confused.

Whats wrong? Its me! Or did my surprise totally blow you away? she gave a shaky laugh, hope and anxiety twisted together as she flicked at her new fringe, desperate for approval.

Im just wondering where my girlfriends gone, I said, voice flat. I was fighting to stay calm. I wanted to shout, to weep, to beg her to explain. But I held back, too many people watching. I stepped back again, scanning Lucyif that really was Lucy. Are you ill? Have you lost your mind? Wheres your lovely hair? Wheres your natural figure? You always looked amazing and

You mean fat, dont you? Lucys lower lip trembled, her blue eyes spilling over with tears she fought to hold back. She squeezed her hands into fists, then let them go, trying to pull herself together. Her friends, whod clearly come for moral support, giggled at the sidelines, only deepening her pain. She shot them a wounded glare.

Oh, just say it. I know I let myself go, okay? she said, voice shaking, trying for defiance. But thats done with. Now you wont be embarrassed to walk down the street with me, will you? Look how stylish I am Isnt this better?

Who said I want to be seen with you at all now? I snappedsharper now, lost to frustration. You turned from a beautiful woman into I dont even know what. I loved you. Your real self! Now I trailed off, barely recognising her. Why didnt you ask me? We always talked. Why not this time?

Oh, come on, HarryLucy could be on the cover of a fashion magazine now! piped up one of her mates, the tall, blonde girl whod been eyeing me for a while. She stepped forward, laying a hand ostentatiously on Lucys shoulder as if showing off a project. Do you know how many blokes chat her up now? You should be glad! She did it all for you!

I turned on her, face twisted with anger.

No, not for mefor herself! I shot Lucy a look of pain and fury. Dont blame me for this disaster.

I took a step, lowered my voice, thick with hurt.

You knew how I felt about all this. Ive always said I find natural beauty far more attractive. What youve done to yourself Lucy, you used to be gorgeous. Now, you look artificial. Like someone else.

I paused, raking my hands through my hair before continuing, voice steadier but firm.

The last month, all I thought about was coming back and proposing to you. I bought a ring. I wanted to start our life together. But Im sorry I cant be with a stranger.

Lucy went white, tears streaming down her face. She made a strangled noise, trying to speak, but nothing came out. Her arms dropped to her sides, defeated. She stepped towards me, hand half raised, desperate to stop me, to explain, to fix what had gone wrong.

Harry, wait! she finally choked out. I I only wanted you to be proud of me, for us to be happy

But I was already moving away, walking fast, barely seeing where I was going, head hot with a mix of pain, hurt and regret.

Lucy called after me, voice cracking, but her friends corralled her, not letting her follow.

Oh, let him go! the tall blonde said, wrapping an arm round Lucy. Hes just in shockhe didnt mean all that, youll see.

Thats it, chimed in another as they shot me a scornful look, Hell be crawling back soon, you wait. You look incredible nowthe worlds at your feet. Someone better will come along, Lucy.

Lucy barely listened. She just watched me walk away, tears leaving black streaks of mascara down her cheeksa hollow ache in her chest, understanding, far too late, that in chasing better, shed lost what truly mattered.

I really was going to marry her, I finished bleakly as I told Emma everything. I covered my face with my hands, shoulders shaking. I had it all planned outhow Id ask, how shed light up, throw her arms around me, how wed laugh and hug and pretend the six months apart were nothing. But when I saw her like that My voice dried up, rough and weak. Something just snapped inside. I didnt recognise her. Not at all.

There was a long silence before I could continue; I stared off into the distance, swallowing hard.

Why are girls so unhappy with their looks? I whispered, almost to myself. I complimented Lucy every day, told her how beautiful she was, loved her little quirks everything. That was enough for me. But she she wiped it all away. Tried to become someone else.

The worst part is, I said suddenly, dragging my hands down my face, eyes glistening though I quickly blinked it away, it was all orchestrated by her so-called friend! She wanted this to happenjust so Id leave Lucy. Im nearly sure of it, now.

What makes you think that? Emma asked softly, heart twisting at the sight of me so broken. Usually, I was cheerful, confidentbut now I just looked gutted, all the energy wrung out of me. She put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

She came over to my flat, I muttered with disgust. Told me straight outshes better than Lucy, all natural, no need for fakes. I nearly threw her down the stairs! God, she actually thought Id fall into her arms just like that! I slammed my fist into the armchair and ran a trembling hand through my hair.

And the worst bit. My voice was subdued. She thought Id just forget Lucy in a heartbeat. But Im not like that. I loved Lucy, and I hate that she let someone get inside her head like that.

Emma said nothing, just squeezed my hand. She understood how hard it was for me to admit all this, how much it hurt seeing so much damage dealt by someone elses jealousy, Lucys insecurity. She wanted desperately to help, but words failed.

So what now? Have you tried really talking to Lucy? Maybe its not too late, Emma said gently, squeezing my shoulder again. There was genuine care in her eyes, a warmth I hadnt felt for months.

She likes her new look now, I said with a hollow laugh. She called, said I have no right to leave after she waited for me all that time. But the girl I loved is gone. I slumped onto the sofa, elbows on knees, fists to my forehead. I love her. I really do. But shes gone. Just someone else there nowthose puffy lips, that thin figure, the fake everything

Emma reached for my hand. Her touch was warm, grounding. She didnt try to comfort me with platitudes or say things would be alright. She just sat with me, letting her presence say I wasnt alone.

She watched my hands shake, saw me wrestle with the tears I was too proud to let fall, shoulders trembling with all I tried to bottle inside.

Once, we were walking through Hyde Park in autumn my voice broke the silence, faraway. Yellow leaves everywhere, she kept losing her hat, laughing at the wind. She said, Harry, I want it to be like this always. And I said, It will be, promise. And I meant it. With all my heart.

I choked a little, blinking fiercely, while Emma looked away, sniffling.

And now? I finally whispered, broken. She looks in the mirror and sees a beauty. I see someone I dont know. How did everything fall apart so fast? Why didnt we talk, just say what we really wanted?

At last the tears just cameit was easier to let them fall than try to hold them in, and for a while I just sat, hunched, crying like a boy whod been kicked out into the cold. Emma scooted closer and hugged my shoulders, squeezing me tight.

Harry, she said softly, her voice steady, its not your fault. You loved her, you told her, you supported her. This wasnt you. Maybe its someone elses envy, or someone elses words, but its not on you. Dont blame yourself.

I glanced up, eyes red and watery. All I felt was confusionhow could this be happening?

What if Im wrong? I whispered. What if I shouldve tried harder? Maybe she just got scared Id stop loving her maybe she thought she wasnt good enough for me. Maybe she really just wanted to make me happy and all I did was ruin it by being angry?

It hurt to say, but part of me still hoped that under all the changes, my Lucy was still in there somewherethe one who made hot chocolate in the morning, who doodled silly faces on steamed-up windows, who laughed at my worst jokes and always found a way to give me hope.

Emma met my eyes. Youre allowed to feel how you feel. You have the right to be honest about who you are. But maybe, if you want to try and fix things, you should let her explain it properly. Have a real talk, not for her, not for anyone else, but for the love you shared. Let her say why she changed, and you tell her how it made you feel.

I took a deep, shuddering breath, looked out at the world. The rain had finally stopped, and the last of the setting sun painted the sky gold and pink. I watched the shifting colours, searching for some kind of answer.

Maybe youre right, I said quietly. But right now right now, I just need some time. Time to work out what I really want. I cant just move on and forget it, but if theres a chance to bring back what we had well, I suppose I need to think about it.Outside, a sunbeam finally pierced the clouds, flickering across the rain-speckled windowpane. Emma let me sit with my thoughts, not rushing, just grounding me. I traced absent patterns on my cup, feeling the ache subside enough to breathe.

A quiet ping from my phone startled us both. Hesitantly, I checked the screena photo. Lucy, as she was before, bundled in her old woollen jumper, grinning with wind-mussed hair. It mustve been sent months ago, lingering in my gallery, now surfacing as a suggestion. My throat tightened, but instead of despair, I found a kind of peace settling over me.

I realised, in that gentle hush, that loving someone meant loving them as they werenot some perfect vision, nor a patchwork of your wishes and fears. Lucys mistake wasnt wanting to be beautifulit was believing she had to become someone else to deserve love at all.

Maybe I couldnt have saved her from that. But I could save myself.

Emma nudged my foot with hers, eyes brimming with hope and worry. Whatever you decide, Harry, do it with your whole heart. If you forgive her, forgive. If you let go, let go. But dont let pain or pride have the last word.

I breathed in the fading warmth of the day, the rain-washed air sweet as new beginnings.

Rising, I pocketed my phone and turned to Emmamy friend who had been brave and honest, holding my hand through the storm. Thank you, I said, voice steadier now. For staying. For seeing me.

She just smiled, soft and knowing.

I would call Lucy tomorrow, not as the boy who left, or the man overwhelmed by loss, but as someone whod learned that lovereal lovecan only ever live in truth. Maybe wed find our way back. Maybe not. But I would listen. I would forgive. And, if needed, I would let her gowith gratitude for what we had, and hope for who we might yet become.

The world outside gleamed with possibility. For the first time in a long while, I let myself step into the evenings brightness, heart raw but open, ready, at last, to begin again.