How Our Son’s Mother-in-Law Took Him Away From Us

After our son married, he scarcely visits us anymore. It seems he’s always with his mother-in-law, who constantly needs urgent help. I truly can’t imagine how she managed before her daughter married our son.

Our son has been married for over two years now. Once he wed, the children moved into the flat we purchased for our son when he began university in London. From childhood, we’ve always provided our son with support and understanding. Even before his marriage, he lived on his own, as his flat was conveniently close to his job.

I won’t say I disliked my daughter-in-lawat the time, I simply felt she wasn’t quite mature enough for married life, though our son is only two years older than her. She often acted rather childishly and was sometimes moody. Our son is such a kind soul; I found myself wondering how he would manage with this child as a wife.

After meeting her and her mother, I realised who they were. Despite his mother-in-law being the same age as me, she behaves like a child herself. Perhaps youve encountered people who never quite grow up, regardless of their age? Such people seem completely helpless and remain rather immature. By the time her daughter married our son, the mother had already divorced six times.

We never had much to talk about; she seemed to live in her own little world, but thankfully didn’t impose herself upon us. Our interactions were limited to polite congratulations during the wedding and little else.

The first warning signs came before the wedding, as our daughter-in-law kept dragging our son to her mother’s house: a leaking tap here, a dodgy plug there, a kitchen shelf that had fallen down. At first, I dismissed itafter all, there wasnt a man in their household, so our sons help was surely needed.

Yet as time passed, the number of household mishaps at his mother-in-laws did not lessen. Our son continued to ignore us, explaining that he and his wife went to help her mother. Eventually, they celebrated every holiday at his mother-in-law’s house. At ours, it was just me, my husband, and my own mother.

It hurt when he stopped coming to our family celebrations, but even more so when he began to disregard our requests for help.

During this period, we bought a new fridge and asked our son to help deliver it. He agreed at first, but then phoned to say he couldn’t come because he and his wife were heading to her mothersher washing machine was leaking.

When my wife rang our son, she overheard our daughter-in-law saying, “Couldn’t your parents just hire a removal firm?” Our son eventually showed up, but was clearly annoyed.

Dad, couldnt you call movers? Now I have to carry this myself!

I lost heart and wondered why his mother-in-law never called professionals herself. Perhaps she lived in a parallel world where such specialists didnt exist? Our son claimed his mother-in-law needed help because tradesmen now cheat at every turntaking money, but not fixing anything.

My husband couldnt hold back and said that maybe our sons mother-in-law isnt handy with appliances, but shes a marvellous shepherdgreat at leading one sheep. That did it. Our son was furious with him and left immediately. I stayed silent, feeling my husband was rightthe new in-laws always leaned heavily on our son. He was forever their plumber, electrician, and handyman, while for us he always seemed out of reach.

After that quarrel, our son would not speak to his father for over a fortnight. My husband refused to make the first move towards reconciliation. I felt torn, stuck between them. Of course, my husband was right, but he could have put it more gently. Now my son is sulking and avoids his father, while I refuse to lose him over such a trivial matter.

My husband wont reach out, and our son insists he won’t do so until he receives an apology. Oddly enough, the only person thriving in this situation is his mother-in-law.

In the end, what’s most important isnt whose side you take or who apologises first, but remembering that family bonds require patience and understanding. If we’re too stubborn to try and mend whats broken, we risk losing those we care about most.