I don’t even want to get married because of this—I don’t trust women! And don’t you dare wreck your family over foolishness, you hear me?

“I don’t even want to get married because of this. I dont trust women! And dont you dare ruin your family over some foolishness, you hear me?”

I had just finished my scrambled eggs and was sipping the last of my coffee when my wife, flushed and flustered, asked in an oddly strained voice:

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“What makes you”

“Dont lie to me, Simon. Just tell me the truth.”

Now it was my turn to reddensomething that rarely happened, only when I couldnt bring myself to lie but couldnt tell the truth either.

“You dont have to say anything. I understand.”

I bolted outside like Id been scalded. The whole workday was spent in a nervous haze, furious with myself. The situation had thrown me off balance, forcing me toward a decision I wasnt ready to make. Lying to my wife was impossibleshe meant too much to me.

Yes, there was another woman. Young, beautiful, glamorousyou might laughbut no, not younger or more beautiful than my wife. An old schoolmate. My first, unrequited love. An unresolved chapter, you might say. Wed run into each other by chance after all these years.

“Simon, is that you? My, youve changed. Proper London gent now, arent you?”

I froze. Standing before me, smirking, was Christine.

For a moment, I just stood there like a fool, feeling utterly exposed. She looked me up and down, that same tormentor from schoolthe one whod saddled me with cruel nicknames that stuck. “Simon the Simple” had been one of them.

“Come on, lets grab a coffee, catch up. A mini-reunion. Theres another old friend here too, just finishing her shopping.”

Before I could reply, she emerged from the shopLillian. Blonde, delicate, ethereal. When she saw me, she smiled.

“Simon Whitcombe, is that really you?” she asked in that painfully familiar, melodic voice. “How many years has it been?”

I could only smile back, a lump in my throat.

Of course, I took them to a café. We talked for hours. The next day, unable to resist, I met Lillian after work.

She wasnt surprisedshe acted as if shed expected it. We sat in that same café, just the two of us this time, and then I went home with her. And vanished.

For six months, I lived in two worlds. One: my familyJack and little Emily, whom I adored, and my wife, whom I still loved. Yes, loved. That love hadnt disappeared, just dimmed, buried under routine.

The other world: Lillian. A surge of emotions, the thrill of possession, passion. If I couldve, I wouldve kept diving between the two. Which was why, when my wife uncovered the truth so abruptly, I was completely unprepared.

The only thought that came to me by days end: I needed a pause. A real onenot just for one of them. Time to think, to make a final choice.

I was about to call my wife, Margaret, but she beat me to it.

“Simon, the children and I are staying with my parents for a while. I need time to think,” she said. “Just promise me youll stay in touch with Jack and Emily. They love you, and I dont want them hurt before its necessary.”

More lost than ever, I went home. It hadnt occurred to me that my wife might make her own choiceand not in my favor. Well, she had every right.

For days, I thought about Lillian (so fresh, so vivid) and Margaret (my wife). I remembered only the good. I didnt want to lose either.

I dont know why, but at some point, I felt the urge to call my old schoolmate, Graham. Wed been friends since childhood, even served together in the army. Once, long ago, wed both been in love with Lillianboth rejected. Maybe that was why I called.

We arranged to meet. I invited him overthe rain was pouring, and neither of us fancied some dreary pub. Graham had never married, still lived with his parents, while I was temporarily unattached. If needed, he could crash at mine.

After work, I stopped by the shop, grabbed some frozen pies, sausages, and a bottle (what else do men need?), then headed home to wait for him.

“Lovely place youve got here! Cosy! Really happy for you, mate. When am I getting my own little nest, eh? Your wife hasnt got any single friends, has she?” Graham grinned, shaking my hand while glancing around.

We moved to the kitchen. Id already laid out plates and cutleryjust needed to boil the pies.

“Wheres the missus?” Graham frowned. “Wanted to pay my respects. Just you, then? Why didnt you say? I brought cake and chocolates”

“Dont worry, well eat them. Theyre at her parents just for a bit. Come on, first round!”

We drank. Then a couple more. Only then did I tell Graham about Lillian, the whirlwind affair, my predicament. He was silent for a long timeuncharacteristic for him.

“Why so quiet? You were in love with her too. Or still are?”

“No, not at all! Definitely not now,” Graham laughed, but it sounded forced. “Listen, Ill be straight with you: you dont need this. I know what Im talking about.”

“And what exactly do you know?” I snapped. Shed never given either of us the time of day back then, and if there were rumors now, I wasnt interested in hearing them!

“I lived with her for six months, Simon,” Graham said wearily. She was already divorced then. Know who her husband was? Ned Pearson, remember him?

“Pearson? Didnt know. She told me she was divorced but never mentioned him. Yeah, I remembershe used to fancy him. I nearly had it out with him once.”

“Should I go on?”

“No, mate, youve startedfinish it.” I braced myself, suddenly sober. Whatever came next, I wouldnt like it.

“Unlike you, I didnt just stare at her. I wrote letters, carried her books when she allowed it, even cornered her in the stairwell a few timesgot nowhere. She liked Pearson. I was no competition. But Pearson liked all the girls, not like us two. So Lillian fought for him, just as we fought for her.”

“They marriedperfect couple, local golden pair. Lived well, at first. Then Lillian started nagging him about money. Didnt want to live with his mum, wanted their own place, furniture, all that. So he went off to Europedriving second-hand cars for cash. Came back with money, but on his next trip, he crashed. Badly. They had to piece him back together.”

“Every penny hed saved went into fixing him. Credit where its due: she stood by him, got him back on his feet. Then suddenly, she had a flat. And left him.”

“We ran into each other or did we? I was leaving work; she was with Christineher old friend. Remember her? No idea what they were doing there, nowhere near their usual haunts”

“We had coffee, then well, you know. I was over the moon! Ready to propose! Then she tells me shes going away for two weekswork trip to Birmingham. Like a fool, I believed her.”

“She came back with a Mediterranean tan. When I asked, she said: Place was dull, so I hit the sunbed and spa in my free time.”

“Jealousy got the better of me. I followed her, especially when shed cancel plans. And what do you knowI caught her! A Range Rover pulls up, she gets out not alone. With some old bloke, sixty if he was a day. I lost it, jumped himbarely got pulled apart.”

“Nearly went to prison for that. Turns out the old git was some bigwig. Only got off because he didnt want the scandalhis little mistress and the flat hed bought her coming to light”

“Thats my story. Pearson could tell you more.”

He didnt seem keen to chat further, heading to the hall to get his coat. I didnt stop him but walked him out.

“Thats why Ill never marry. Dont trust women! And dont you go wrecking your family over this nonsense, hear me?” he said at the door.

We shook hands, and he left.

A heaviness settled over me. I collapsed onto the bed, thinking about the fragility of life, happiness, love. About a dream that had lived in the back of my mind for yearsfinally realized, only to shatter.

That dream had been like a little silver boat, bobbing on an endless emerald sea