I’m 58 and Made a Decision That Cost Me More Than Most People Could Ever Imagine: I Stopped Financia…

I’m fifty-eight, and not long ago I made a decision that cost me more than most could ever imagine: I stopped supporting my daughter with money. It wasnt because Id stopped loving her, nor because Id suddenly become tight-fisted.

My daughter married a man who, from the beginning, seemed averse to work. He drifted in and out of jobs every few monthsalways with a different excuse: the boss was impossible, the hours rubbish, the pay a joke, the whole place just not right. There was never a situation that suited him.

She had a job herself, but their money was always running out.

Month after month, he would come to me, saying the same things: the rents due, the cupboards are bare, the bills are piling up, the school needs new shoes for the children. And, soft as I am, I always found myself helping in the end.

I believed, at first, it would be temporary. Just a rough patch. That he would pull himself together, step up, take responsibility and become a proper husband and father.

But the years crept by and nothing changed.

He lounged around the house, slept till noon, went off with his mates, promised that he was this close to landing something. In truth, the money I gave my daughter was covering expenses her husband should have managedor worse, paying for his evenings out at the local, pint after pint.

He never really looked for a job, because he knew that, whatever happened, I was always there to mend things.

My daughter never confronted him either. It was easier to come to me for help than to stand up to him.

So I found myself paying bills that werent mine, carrying the weight of a marriage that wasnt mine.

The day I decided enough was enough was the day my daughter asked me for money for an emergencyand just by chance, let slip that it was to clear a debt hed racked up playing snooker down the pub with his friends.

I asked her, Why doesnt he work?

She answered quietly, I dont want to push him.

Then I told her, clear as crystal,
I will always be there for her, and for my grandchildren. Ill support her with everything I have in my heart. But I cant, and wont, give another pound while she chooses to stay with a man who does nothing and wont lift a finger to help.

She cried. She shouted. She blamed me for leaving her on her own.

It was one of the most painful moments Ive ever lived through as a mother.

Tell me did I do the wrong thing?