З життя
Моя невістка відкрито заявила про ненависть до мене та звинувачує в руйнуванні її шлюбу
Ви собі уявляєте: моя невістка навіть не намагається приховати, що я їй не подобаюсь! Вона кидає це мені в обличчя при кожній зручній нагоді, не соромлячись ані трохи. Найстрашніше те, що мій син знає про це! Так, ось вона я — шестидесятирічна жінка з тихого містечка під Львовом, яка мріяла бути люблячою матір’ю та свекрухою, оточеною теплом і пошаною. Я завжди розуміла, що виховувати єдину дитину — це ризиковано. Не можна класти всі яйця в один кошик, але хто міг подумати, що це обернеться таким кошмаром?
Моя невістка, Наталка, з першого погляду видалася мені надто різкою, надто енергійною, наче буря, яку неможливо вгамувати. Коли Іван, мій син, вперше привів її додому, я відчула холодний подих, дивлячись в її темні, проникливі очі. Вона дивилася так, ніби сканувала кожну дрібницю, кожну мою зморшку, кожен куток кімнати. Інтуїція шепотіла: “Бережись”, але я відмахнулася. Вирішила, що це просто нерви, і намагалася прийняти дівчину, яку мій син обрав собі за дружину. Що може піти не так на першій зустрічі з майбутньою невісткою? О, як я помилялася!
Перше, що впало в око — її пихатість. Я читала в журналах, що одним з ознак токсичної людини є грубість до тих, хто нижче за статусом. І в свої роки я все ще вірю таким речам. Того дня ми сиділи в кафе, і Наталка накинулася на офіціанта, як яструб на здобич. Її десерт, бачите, виглядав “неапетитно”, і вона вимагала замінити його, та ще й з таким тоном, ніби хлопець був її особистим слугою. Я намагалася виправдати її — можливо, нервується, може, день невдалий. Але тепер я знаю: це був перший дзвіночок, який я проігнорувала.
Друге — її зовнішній вигляд. Вибачте, що кажу про це, але її наряд того дня був просто викликом. Глибокий виріз, коротка спідниця — ні, скоріше обтягуючий комбінезон, який ледве прикривав тіло. Спортивний стиль? Модний каприз? Не знаю, що зараз у тренді, але це кричало про неповагу. Вона знала, що йде знайомитися зі мною, з матір’ю свого нареченого, і могла б обрати щось скромніше, якби хоч трохи мене поважала. Але ні, їй було все одно.
Коли вони одружилися і почали жити разом, мені стало сумно. Я сумувала за своїм єдиним сином, за його дзвінким сміхом в нашому домі. Місяць я трималася, не телефонувала, не втручалася в їхнє життя. Та згодом почала потроху набирати номер — він же моя дитина, моя кров, хіба я повинна виправдовуватися за це? Виявилося, Наталку це дратувало. Вона не приховувала свого роздратування і навіть говорила Івану при мені: “Поклади трубку, досить з нею балакати”. Стояла поруч, а я все чула — кожне її слово, гостре, як ніж.
Я не хотіла спровокувати конфлікт, але зустрілася з Іваном наодинці і запитала прямо: що відбувається? Він зітхнув і розповів. У Наталки, виявляється, непросте минуле: був хлопець, вагітність, він її покинув, не взявши відповідальності, і вона втратила дитину. Після цього її психіка дала тріщину — довелося звертатися до лікарів. Іван запевняв, що вона просто переживає стрес, що це тимчасово, що консультації психолога все виправлять. Але я бачила інше: її погляд, її різкість — це не просто нерви, це щось глибше. І я не могла вдавати, що вірю в його слова.
А потім стався вибух. Через кілька днів після нашої розмови Наталка дізналася, що Іван говорив зі мною про неї. І тут вона зривалася. Телефонний дзвінок вночі став для мене як грім серед ясного неба. Вона кричала, звинувачувала мене в тому, що я хочу зруйнувати їхній шлюб, що я зла баба, яка мріє позбутися від неї. Її голос тремтів від люті, і я зрозуміла: вона любить Івана, але ця любов хвора, липка, як павутина. Єдиний промінець світла в тій темряві — її почуття до нього справжні. Але мені від цього не легше.
Іван не захистив мене. Я не розумію, чому мій син, мій хлопчик, якого я виховувала з такою любов’ю, не може сказати їй ні слова всупереч. Він наче під її владою, під її поглядом, який тримає його, як поводок. Він не грубіянить мені, але кожного разу повторює: “Мамо, я дорослий. У мене своя родина. Я сам вирішу, коли телефонувати, коли приїхати”. Формально він правий, але я бачу: це вона диктує йому правила. Вона керує їхнім життям.
До речі, вони живуть в її квартирі — трикімнатній, новій, з блискучим ремонтом. Я розумію, як важлива власність у наші дні, особливо в місті. Але чи варто заради цього рвати зв’язок з матір’ю? Невже квадратні метри дорожчі крові? Я задаю собі ці питання, і серце стискається від болю.
Я все ще сподіваюся, що час розставить все по місцях. Можливо, потрібно трохи потерпіти, дати їм шанс розібратися. Але з кожним днем я все ясніше бачу: мені пора відпустити. Я виконала свою справу як мати — виростила здорового сина, дала йому крила. А далі — його шлях, його вибір. І все ж в глибині душі я молюся, щоб ця буря вщухла, щоб ми знову стали сім’єю. Але поки я стою на узбіччі їхнього життя, дивлячись, як мій син розчиняється в її світі, і не знаю, чи вистачить у мене сил дочекатися змін.
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The Nuisance Next Door “Keep your hands off my crystal glasses!” shouted the former friend. “Mind your own eyes! You think I don’t see who you’re ogling?” “So you’re jealous, are you?” Tamara Barrington was taken aback. “Just look who you’re after! I know what I’m getting you for Christmas—a lip-zipping machine!” “Why not keep it for yourself?” retorted Lynda, undeterred. “Or have you already worn yours out? You think I don’t notice?” Old Mrs. Tamara swung her legs off the creaky bed and walked over to her home icon shelf to read her morning prayer. Not that she was especially religious—she believed there was something out there running things, but who exactly remained a mystery. This all-powerful force went by many names: the universe, fate, and, of course, the Good Lord—a kindly old gent with a white beard and halo, sitting on his cloud and worrying about folks down on Earth. Besides, Mrs. Barrington was long past life’s halfway mark and edging near seventy. At that age, it was best not to quarrel with the Almighty: If He didn’t exist, believers lost nothing. If He did, non-believers lost everything. At the end of her morning devotions, Tamara added a few words of her own. Ritual, done. Soul at peace. She could start her new day. In Tamara Barrington’s life there were two main troubles. Not, as you might think, the usual English gripes of weather and taxes—those were old hat! Her nightmares were her neighbour, Lynda, and her own grandchildren. The grandchildren were predictable: today’s kids, not an ounce of effort in them. But they had parents to deal with them—let them take that on! Lynda, however, was a classic nerve-shredder of a neighbour! Only in the movies do the spats between national treasures like Dame Judi Dench and Maggie Smith seem sweet and charming. In real life, it’s nowhere near so cute—especially when the nitpicking is personal and persistent. To make matters more colourful, Mrs. Tamara had a chum with the nickname “Pete the Moped.” In full, it was Peter Ephraim Cosgrove—the surname a solid English sort! The origin of his nickname was obvious: In his youth, Pete Cosgrove—such a ring to it, eh?—loved zipping around on his scooter. Or as his mates called it, his “mopette.” In time, the battered moped gathered dust in the shed, but the nickname stuck like only village monikers can. In their younger days, they were family friends: Pete and his wife Nina with Tamara and her late husband. Now both of their spouses were resting peacefully in the village cemetery. So Tamara and Pete, whose friendship went back to school days, carried on together by habit—he was a true, loyal friend. Back in school, their trio—her, Pete, and Lynda—had pulled off friendship splendidly. Real, pure camaraderie—no teenage flirting involved. They always moved as a trio: Their strapping gentleman between two smartly dressed ladies, each on his arm. Like one of those double-handled English tea cups—built not to be dropped! As the years went by, the friendships changed. First came a chill from Lynda, then outright spite. It was as if Lynda had been swapped for someone else—a different script altogether! This switch came after her husband passed away; before that, things had been tolerable. It’s no surprise: time sharpens certain traits. The thrifty turn stingy. Chatty types grow unbearable. And envy—well, it will tear you to pieces. And there was plenty to envy! First, despite her years, Tamara stayed trim and neat, while Lynda had become rather dumpy—a common by-product of time. Tamara always cut a better figure. Second, their old friend Pete now lavished more attention on lively Tamara. They whispered and laughed over private jokes, their silvery heads nearly touching. With Lynda, conversation was limited to short, dry remarks. And Pete visited Tamara far more often, while Lynda had to beg for his company. Perhaps Lynda wasn’t as clever as infuriating Tamara, nor as quick with a joke—Pete had always loved a good laugh. Ah, there’s a fine old English word—”yakking”—which would fit what Lynda did these days: picking fights over every little thing. First, she complained Tamara’s loo was in the wrong spot and stank! “Your privy stinks up the whole place!” grumbled Lynda. “Rubbish! It’s been there for ages—you only just noticed?” Tamara riposted. “Oh yes! And your eye implants were on the NHS! Nothing good comes free, you know!” “Keep your nose out of my cataracts!” shot back Lynda. “Watch who you’re giving the side-eye!” And so it went, again and again. Pete even suggested filling in the old outside toilet and setting one up inside. Tamara’s children pooled money to sort out an indoor loo for their mum. Pete himself helped fill in the old pit—problem solved. Lynda, find something new to complain about! She did: Now she accused Tamara’s grandkids of stealing pears from her tree, whose branches hung well into Tamara’s plot. “They thought it was ours,” Tamara tried to explain, doubting the kids took any—she hadn’t seen any missing. “Besides, your chickens are always scratching round in my veg patch!” “A chicken is a simple creature! Either a broiler or a layer!” Lynda retorted. “And you ought to be raising your grandkids right, not giggling with old men all day!” On it went: the pears, the tree branches, the chickens, and always some new row to pick. In the end, Pete suggested cutting back the offending branches—after all, they were on Tamara’s side of the fence. Under his watchful eye, Lynda kept silent for once. Once that was sorted, Tamara took exception to Lynda’s new breed of chickens, which now truly did dig up her beds. She politely asked Lynda to keep them fenced in. Lynda only smirked: “Sweep away for all I care—see what you can do!” Tamara would never dream of catching a chicken and roasting it to prove a point—she was too soft-hearted for a risky experiment. Instead, clever Pete suggested an idea from the internet: quietly scatter eggs in the beds at night, and collect them next morning. It worked! Lynda, seeing Tamara returning with a full bowl of eggs, was flabbergasted—and her chickens never trespassed again. Couldn’t they just make peace now? Not likely! Now it was the smoke and smell from Tamara’s summer kitchen that bothered Lynda. “Yesterday I didn’t mind it, but today I do! And maybe I’m vegetarian! Haven’t you heard Parliament passed a law about barbecue smoke?” “Where do you even see a barbecue, Lynda?” Tamara tried reasoning. “You might want to wipe your glasses once in a while!” Always patient, Tamara finally lost her cool. Lynda had become utterly impossible—some words just suit her! “Maybe she ought to be sent off for experiments,” Tamara sighed to Pete over tea. “She’s eating me alive!” Weary and thin from the daily stress, Tamara thought she might waste away—but Pete encouraged her to hang in there. One bright morning, Tamara heard a familiar song: “Tammy, Tammy, come out from your cottage!” Outside, Pete stood proudly beside his newly repaired moped. “Why was I so glum before?” he proclaimed. “It’s because my moped was down! Now climb on, darling, let’s relive our youth!” Tamara hopped on. After all, Parliament had officially cancelled old age: everyone was now an active pensioner at sixty-five! She rode off into her new life—literally and figuratively. Before long, Tamara became Mrs. Cosgrove—Pete proposed, and the puzzle was complete. She left her worries (and her cantankerous neighbour) behind and moved in with her new husband. Lynda remained a solitary, grumpy woman—who, with no one left to argue with, turned all her bitterness inwards. But you can bet she found new things to envy. So hold tight, Tamara, and maybe don’t step outside too soon! Village life—it’s a real song, isn’t it? What did you expect? All that fuss over a loo, for nothing…
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