My Husband’s Family Traditions Are Making Me Ill – I Can’t Visit Their Home Anymore

Honestly, I just cant handle visiting my husbands parents some of their habits make me feel properly sick. The very idea of sitting at their table just makes my stomach turn. Ive tried to be polite and just talk to them, but sitting down for a meal? I simply cant do it. My husband thinks Im making a fuss over nothing, and his mum is convinced Im just a spoilt princess whos always got something to complain about.

Thank goodness my husband and I have our own place. Its not quite far enough from his parents for me to avoid seeing them altogether, so visits are unavoidable. Every single visit is stressful Im always scrambling for an excuse not to go. On paper, theyre an ordinary family both parents work, have degrees, the house is clean and tidy, everything should be fine. But the moment it comes to meals, I just get this deep sense of dread. Im a bit picky, its true I cant even share a spoon with my husband if hes put it in his mouth first. I genuinely cant do it no matter how hard I try.

Ive gotten used to my husbands quirks over time, as you do, but I just cant get on board with his parents ways. For example, once his mum was mixing a salad in a big bowl, tasted it with the serving spoon, licked the spoon, and then just put it right back into the bowl I mean, honestly, who does that?

Or when theres spirits being poured, Ill usually bring my own bottle of wine. Without blinking, his mum will just pick up my glass and have a sip to see what its like. I dont get it its just not very hygienic, is it? Shes not family to me in that way. I try to swap my glass on the sly, but it doesnt always work out. And my father-in-law he spends the rest of the evening teasing me, sometimes a bit too harshly, and my husband will try to step in, but it never really changes a thing.

His mum is also weird about leftovers. Say shes warmed up some soup and doesnt finish it, shell just pour whats left back into the pot and pop it in the fridge unless theres crème fraîche or mayo already in there. She does this with everything, even with the salad guests leave behind after a do. Because of this, I never touch anything that isnt freshly made at their house odds are its a mix of what people left on their plates.

And then theres her habit, which genuinely makes me gag: she spits on the frying pan to see if its hot enough before cooking. There are so many other ways to check if the pans hot! She says the heat kills everything, so its fine, but just thinking about it horrifies me. Once you see it, you cant unsee it.

The final straw was when I saw them give the dog their bowls to lick clean. After a party, there was this big bowl of leftover potatoes and stew, and down it went on the floor for the dog to finish. Then, they just rinsed the same bowl with the other dishes as if thats normal.

I finally lost it and pointed out that I didnt want to eat from a bowl after the dog. They looked at me like I was mad and just said all the dishes get washed properly anyway. They totally missed the point! Dogs shouldnt be eating from the crockery. I even suggested, since it was apparently no big deal, that I could just wash the dog bowl and eat out of that. His mum was really put out by that, but seriously, by her logic whats the difference? My husband told me I was making a mountain out of a molehill, but honestly, I stand by what I said.

I just do not want to go to my in-laws anymore. Maybe if I brought my own meal and dishes, Id feel okay, but that would definitely ruin the atmosphere, and his mum would be offended beyond belief. Im really stuck. I dont want to put my husband in an awkward position, but the thought of going over there makes me miserable.

All I want is to move to another city so that visits become impossible. Id happily just stick to phone calls and be done with these awkward family meals.