З життя
My Parents Favored My Younger Brother With Gifts While I Was Overlooked, and It Took Me a Long Time to Accept the Reason My Mum Gave Me
My husband and I have managed to make something of ourselves through our own hard work, while our younger siblings have always enjoyed generous support from our parents. We dont feel entitled to anything, but its difficult not to notice that our parents appear to feel no obligation to support us in the same way they do our siblings. I constantly wonder why there is such a clear imbalance in how were treated.
I remember vividly how my father gave my younger brother a brand-new car, keeping the old banger for himself. Later on, we learned that after my brother got married, he and his wife moved into a lovely flat that had belonged to our grandfather. It seemed like quite a gift to be given without question. Theres a decade between my brother and me, and before he was married, my parents treated us like we were barely related. But as soon as he announced his engagement, they handed him this grand flat, asking nothing in return.
I spoke to my mother about it and asked her why she was so generous with my brother and not with my husband and me. Her answer was incredibly disappointing: Did you ever actually ask for any help? Didnt you see the state of your own house? Didnt you realise you didnt even have a car?
Her words brought back a flood of memoriesmy husband and I, trying to get by, building our lives from scratch without any family support, relying only on our friends. When our child was born, we moved into a barely furnished house, scraping by as best we could. Things were so tight, we were afraid to call a doctor round when our baby was ill, in case someone from the council caught wind of the way we were living and reported us.
On my husbands side of the family, it was the same story but in reverse. His sister always seemed to be the golden child; my in-laws moved out to the countryside so their daughter could have the privacy of their London flat, even though they loathed the long commute from the village. Still, she managed to rely on them for just about everythingshe couldnt even sort out her own groceries. They made weekly trips to her place, packing her kitchen full with food before heading home.
Eventually, I summoned the courage to ask my mother outright why she favoured my brother so openly, giving him everything while my husband and I got nothing. The answer hurt even more: she reminded me again that wed never asked for help, even though she was fully aware of the hardship wed been through. Her words stung, and to this day its difficult to forgive my parents for treating us so differently, as my husband feels the same.
In the end, the unfairness shown by our parentsputting my younger brothers needs above minehas left behind a wound and a great deal of bitterness. Its incredibly hard to reconcile the fact that we and our younger siblings were held to such radically different standards, leading to feelings of injustice and lingering pain.
