Not Everything Goes Smoothly for Me,” Helena Responded. “My Stepfather Is Always Giving Me a Hard Time.

Dear Diary,

Not everything goes smoothly for me, I told myself, as my stepfather kept snapping at me.

Whats your name, love? the stranger asked, leaning close to the girl beside me.
Emily! I answered, a little startled. And you?
Im James, he said, and your mother and I will be living together. From now on its you, me and your mum a proper family!

Soon after, Mum and I moved into Jamess spacious threebedroom flat in a leafy suburb of London. I got my own bedroom, and James was kindhearted, always buying sweets and toys for me. My biological father only called when he wanted to argue with Mum.

One afternoon Mum told me that my dad had started a new family and had moved elsewhere. The news hit me hard; I still loved him. Mum could shout at me and give me a smack on the bottom, but Dad never did that. I remembered vividly the day my parents split Mum screamed at Dad, even threatened to hit him. The words she finally spat at him have stuck with me ever since:

Dont think youre the first to give me antlers; youve been wearing them for ages, like a stag!

After that, Mum packed our things and we went to stay with Grandma Marge. I could never understand why Dad, who was bald and hairless on his head, was said to have antlers. That was the moment Mum and Dad finally went their separate ways for good.

James remained a good stepdad until I started Year1. I never liked school, but I caused mischief during breaks, so Mum and James were often called to the headteachers office. Sometimes James had to go in my place. He took my education seriously, tutoring me himself.

Just because youre not my blood, you cant teach me! Id mutter at Uncle Victor, quoting something Grandma used to say.
I may not be your real father, but I feed you and clothe you, James would reply.

When I turned ten, my biological dad returned to town. By then I knew exactly what wearing antlers meant. He probably was attracted to his other mistress, which is why he left, Mum said at the time. When Dad asked to see me, Mum agreed, and I was happy to meet him again.

Emily, how are you? he asked.
Im not doing well at all, I replied. My stepdad always scolds me.
Why does he think he can shout at you? he snapped.
My grandma says the same, but he never raises his voice at me. I just want him to worry about me, I blurted, hoping hed understand.
Alright, Ill look after you, he promised.

We went for a walk in the park, learning that most rides were for children only, while the rest required an adult. Dad refused to join any. I hinted that my birthday was near and that I longed for a new smartphone. Mum, coming along, told Dad that James never shouts at me, yet he seemed deaf to my wishes.

Dad is such a miser! I whispered to James. I wanted to go on the rides, but he wouldnt let me, and all he bought me in the park was an icecream.
James, youre better than my dad, I sighed.
He tried to make up for it, promising a weekend at the childrens fun centre.

But the plan fell apart when James had to dash to work for lunch, and we ended up back home instead of the waterpark. He also brushed off my hints about a new phone.

Toby, James cheated me! I cried, tears streaming, to my dad. He said wed go to the fun centre and let us climb the ropes, then told me I didnt deserve anything more not the waterpark, not a new phone.

Even though that was the biggest lie, it oddly made Dad buy me a cheap smartphone the best he could afford. He finally noticed my complaint, and the little dream was fulfilled, albeit with a budget model.

Couldnt you wait for your birthday? James asked.
Im dreaming of a dog! I announced.
And not a cat, because youd have to walk it and youre always so lazy! he retorted.

His words triggered a hysterical fit. I called Dad straight away, pleading, Dad, please take me away from them! James is just teasing me and trying to teach me a lesson.

Soon everyone was shouting, arguing, and trying to sort things out. While the chaos unfolded, I was sent to Grandmas house, where Mum arrived with a box of belongings and announced she was divorcing James.

The adults finally saw through my scheming. My biological dad returned to his wife because she was expecting. Now I wont get the new smartphone, nor the dog I dreamed of, and Grandma has already ruled out any cat.

It feels like the world keeps shifting beneath my feet, but Im trying to hold on to the bits of hope that remain.

Emily.