She Was Never Their Own, Those Five… But Would You Dare Say It…

She wasnt theirs by blood, those five But who could tell?…

Yegor lost his wife. She never recovered from the last birth.

What could he do? Grieve or not, five children were left behind. The eldest, Nicky, was nine. Ilyaseven. The twins, Alex and Leo, were four. And the youngest, little Helen, barely three months oldthe daughter theyd longed for

No time for sorrow when children cry for food. Yet at night, once they were in bed, hed sit in the kitchen, smoking

At first, Yegor managed alone. His sister-in-law visited now and then to help. They had no other family. She offered to take Alex and Leo*Itll be easier for you*, she said. Then two from social services showed up.

They suggested sending all the children to an orphanage. Yegor wouldnt hear of it. How could he? His own flesh and blood. How could he live after that? Hard, yesbut what choice was there? Theyd grow, little by little, and one day theyd be grown.

Sometimes he even found time to check the older ones schoolwork. Helen, of course, was the hardest. But Nicky and Ilya helped where they could.

The health visitor, Nina Ivanovna, came often, fussing over them. Once, she promised Yegor a nanny. *A man shouldnt struggle alone with a baby*, she said. *A good girl, hardworking. Works at the hospital.*

No children of her own, unmarried. But shed helped raise siblingsshe came from a big family, the next village over. And so Lucy appeared in their home.

Short, sturdy, round-faced, with an old-fashioned braid down her back. And quiet. Never a word too many. Yet everything in Yegors house changed. The place shonescrubbed, polished.

She mended the childrens clothes, washed them fresh. Fed them, kept Helen clean. School and nursery noticed at once. The children were tidy, buttons sewn neat, elbows no longer threadbare.

Once, Helen fell ill with fever. The doctor said care would see her through. Lucy sat up nights, never once lying down herself. She nursed the girl back. And somehow, without anyone noticing, she stayed

The little ones began calling her *Mum*, starved for a mothers touch. Lucy didnt hold back. A kind word, a pat on the head. A hug. *Well, children are children*

The older boys, Nicky and Ilya, were shy at first, wouldnt call her anything. Then just *Lucy*. Not *Nanny*, not *Mum*just Lucy. To remember, maybe, that theyd had a mother once And she was barely old enough to be theirs.

Lucys family objected.

*Why shackle yourself to that lot? No lads left in the village?*

*Theres lads*, she answered. *But I feel for Yegor And the little ones are used to me now.*

So they lived. Fifteen years slipped by unseen The children studied, grew. Not always smoothlymischief happened. Yegor would rage, reach for his belt. Lucy would tug his sleeve*Wait, Father, lets hear their side first*

They quarrelled, made up, like all families. Soon, no one in the village called her *Lucy* anymore. She was *Lyudmily Vasilyevna*, respected. Nicky married last year, his own child on the way.

The young couple lived apart. Nicky worked at the farmno ordinary tractor driver, but awards every year, bonuses. Ilya was finishing university in the cityLucys pride. *My boy the engineer.*

They did everything togetherplayed as children, stood as one if trouble came. Helen was in ninth grade now, Lucys joy. She sang, dancedno village do was complete without her.

And Yegor, again, thought how well Nina Ivanovna had chosen his wife

This summer, Lucy felt something amiss. Age, never ill, yet now dizziness, nausea

She shooed Yegors smoking outsidethe smell turned her stomach. At first, she thought it would pass. It didnt. She went to the doctor.

She returned quiet, withdrawn. Brushed off Yegors questions*Nothing, just nonsense.*

But that evening, when the house slept, she called him outside.

*Sit, Father The doctor said Im with child. Too late to do anything nowwell have to keep it.* She hid her face. *The shame*

Yegor was stunned. All these years, no childrenand now this!

*What shame, Mother? The older ones are nearly flown. Just the two of us left? See, nature knows best! Well prepare.*

*What will the children say? An old woman like me*

*Old? Thirty-nine? Hardly!*

*I dont know The shame*

*Fine. Ill tell them. Tomorrow, when theyre all here.*

And he did. As they sat at dinner, he said it plain. *My dears soon youll have another brother. Or sister.*

Lucy hung her head, stared at her plate, flushed to tears.

Nicky, visiting with his wife, only laughed.

*Brilliant, Mum! Well done! Have yours with minetheyll grow up together!*

Alex cheered.

*Go on, Mum! We need another brother!*

Leo disagreed.

*No a girl. Too many lads here, just one girl. Weve spoiled our princess*

Helen shot him a look.

*Spoiled? Youve spoiled me? Of course a girl, Mum! Ill tie her ribbons, buy pretty dresses!*

*Dresses? Shes not your doll!* Ilya cut in. *A child needs raising properly.*

*Well raise it*, said Yegor.

Still Lucy hid her growing bellywith a shawl, or a coat in summer heat, as if chilled.

The months passed. Nickys son arriveda boy! Ilya returned to university. Alex and Leo left for agricultural college. Helens school year began. The house grew quiet, empty. Helen was out with friends, even had a lad walking her home from Sunday dances.

One night, Lucy waited up. Then painsharp, darkening her vision.

*Yegor I think its time.*

He paled, fumbled with his boots.

*Wait, Mother, Illquick, the ambulance!* he called to Helen. She understood, dashed out.

Two minutes later, she returned.

*Mum, Tolik will take youhes borrowing his dads car, wait!*

*Tolik, eh?* Lucy thoughtthen another pain seized her.

*Oh, Mum! Whats happening?*

Five minutes later, Helens lad entered.

*Dadll drive you*, he told Helen. *Coming?*

*Im coming*, Yegor grabbed his jacket. *Dont fear, Lucy, Im here.*

All night, Yegor smoked on the hospital steps. At dawn, a nurse emerged.

*Waiting, Dad? Smoking? Youll smoke less now First one, is it?*

*Five Ive got*, he muttered.

*Blimey! Rich man! Not fiveseven! Your beautys had twins!*

*Twtwins?* Yegor stammered.

*Boy and girl! Boys a screamer*, she laughed. *Girls a beauty! Go home, Dad. Come back tomorrow. Shell stay awhile. Babies need weight. Bring whats needed. Understood?*

*Right*, Yegor nodded, dazed.

On discharge day, the whole family gathered. The students skipped classes, came home. The nurse carried out two bundlesone in blue, one in pink. Behind her, flustered, Lucy.

Yegor took one bundle, hesitated over the second.

*Twos awkward Forgotten how.*

Nicky took the other.

*Here, Dad Not my first time.*

*Oh, shes lovely!* Helen peered in. *My little sister!*

Flowers and cake given (as was proper), they headed for the farm busthe manager had lent it. *Special occasion!*

*Well, Mum, youve pleased everyone!* Nicky grinned.

Lucy held one bundle, smiling quietly. *God willing, Ill raise them right* She glanced at Yegor, holding the other.

*Well raise them*, she corrected herself. *Of course, we*

*Children*, she turned to them. *What shall we name them?*

At once, suggestions flewnames they liked, names that meant something.

And the bus driver, Yegors mate, listening to the happy noise behind him, thought*She wasnt theirs by blood, those five But who could tell?