So, is a marriage certificate still stronger than cohabiting? – The lads laughed at NadiaShe stared them down, her eyes flashing with quiet confidence, and whispered, “You’ll see who’s really standing on solid ground.”

I’m not going to wait thirty years after graduation to start a career Ill just end up in a proper funk, Nadine shouted into the phone, the ringtone of her only mate, Maggie, crackling in her ear.

Hey, whats got you so jittery, love? We were only five years apart at university, and you were as fit as a fiddle then. Have you been on a diet or what? Maggie laughed.

Its not about dieting, Rita, I just dont want to. Stop trying to persuade me!

Nadine was ready to hang up, hoping Rita would get the hint and move on to the next name on her list. But this time her friend clutched the line with a steel grip.

Rita, our cohorts are already getting thin.

What? Someone has sold their soul? Nadine gasped, halfamused. She wasnt exactly spring chicken, but she certainly wasnt ready to watch her peers drift off into some other world.

No, nothing dramatic just a few folks from the old county have moved on. And you remember the late Andrew Bush? He was barely twentyfive when he died, a real lad, as Ive told you before.

So stop whinging. Our whole batch four groups will end up with only thirty people actually showing up. Have you finally married your son? Maybe you could loosen up a bit.

Maggie babbled on while Nadines mind drifted back to Andrew Bush. He always had dark circles under his eyes and a weary stare, and the lads in the group used to think he was a weakling.

Turns out Andrew had a weak heart. He was a diligent student, dreamed of building a splendid suspension bridge in his little hometown, but never got the chance. And what about Nadine?

She fell for Ian, a foreman on a construction crew, the same job shed taken after getting her degree. Ian worked night shifts as a security guard in their town before heading home.

They dated for ages; Ian even introduced her to his wife in front of everyone. He claimed a civil partnership was proof of true love. People live not because they have a marriage certificate, but because they love, after all

When Nadine discovered she was expecting, Ian just didnt turn up for his shift. It emerged he had three kids, and his wife was ill. He quit for personal reasons without even telling her.

Nadine realised she couldnt demand anything from a man juggling three children and a sick wife. She quit the building site before anyone could even figure out what was going on. One of the blokes cracked a final joke:

Honestly, a marriage certificate is still stronger than cohabiting, isnt it?

But Nadine didnt care. She landed a job in a corner shop near her flat, thanks to a neighbour shed befriended. They agreed she could work two days a week even after becoming a mum.

Her mother volunteered to mind little Tom, because her daughter was such a clumsy and goodlooking loss!

You raised me like that yourself! Nadine shouted when her mother finally had enough.

Yes, I hoped youd be decent, that your daytime studies would keep you busy, but you, Nad, youre such a scatterbrain! her mum rehearsed.

What seed, what fruit, what did you want? Nadine replied, instantly feeling sorry for her mum

They hugged and wept together, but to what end? Where to go now?

So when Rita rang five years after graduation, asking Nadine to join the reunion, she simply didnt go.

There theyd be chatting about family, work, swapping photos, while Nadine was scrubbing floors in three places the flat hallway, the local primary school, and the nursery. What would she have to talk about with them?

Or rather, what could they talk about with her?

For Toms sake shed do anything; he was her sole comfort.

Even more, when Tom started nursery, Mum decided her duty was done and booked a trip to her sisters cottage in the countryside, claiming she felt under the weather in the city and needed fresh air.

A few years later Nadine lucked into a parttime engineering role. Tom started school, and she managed everything herself, even picking him up straight after lunch. Many a neighbour envied her.

Soon a coworker tried to flirt, but she shut him down instantly. She had a son; an unfamiliar uncle at home was unnecessary. He couldnt replace a father, only add trouble.

Nadines work performance blossomed, and when Tom grew a bit older she moved onto a fulltime engineering post, earning a decent salary in pounds.

Still, she felt a touch incomplete, a bit bruised. She dressed modestly, never dyed her hair, and after forty a respectable dusting of grey had appeared.

She thought she had no right to be happy, living with a married man and almost stealing his fathers place with three kids.

You cant dress brightly, colour your hair, and demand attention, or else someone will stare.

She no longer believed happy endings were for her; the world around her was full of divorced folk, and she felt no better perhaps worse.

Tom grew up grateful, his mothers sacrifices never spoiling him. He spent summers at his grans farm in Norfolk, helping his aunt Iris with everything.

He dug beds, planted potatoes, beetroot and carrots with the two grandmas, weeded and watered, and in autumn he hauled the potatoes and helped seal jam jars.

From a young age Tom was sturdy, chopping wood and stacking logs with a swift flick. Even Nadines sister, Liz, now said it was a great joy to have such a lad, and that her own lonely niece, Emma, now had a beloved grandson.

Now, what about the café meetup for the thirtyyear graduation reunion?

All those familiar, painful thoughts whirled through Nadines mind in a heartbeat.

Then she heard Maggies voice, insistent:

Did you get that? The café opposite the halls, next Friday at three. Come, I need someone to chat to Ive got no one else. Will you be there?

Ritas tone suddenly wavered, and without really knowing why, Nadine replied, Yes, Ill come

She set the phone down and instantly regretted the promise. She stared at herself in the mirror, then picked the phone up again, ready to call Maggie and backtrack.

But the studentreps line was forever busy, and a wave of awkwardness washed over her.

Late that evening she opened her wardrobe and pulled out a blue dress her son had bought for her wedding.

Tom and his partner Nat tried, with a little persuasion, to haul her to the shopping centre, subjecting her to endless fitting rooms.

Finally the dress pleased everyone, even Nadine herself. They found the perfect shoes, and Nat whisked her to a salon where her hair was coloured and styled.

Its been a year now; Tom and Nat live separately but happily.

Her grey hair was sprouting again, and there was no one to fuss over her look, which made her feel a bit selfconscious. She brushed her hair, slipped into the blue dress hanging in the closet, dabbed a touch of colour on her lips, then wiped it off with a napkin too bold, she thought.

The café was noisy and bustling when Nadine arrived on time. Rita spotted her instantly and bounced over, Nad, youre radiant! Im thrilled to see you!

Maggie gave her a gentle squeeze; it actually made her look younger, at least in the mirror.

They chatted over coffee, then someone distracted Rita and Nadine found herself sipping juice, scanning the room, and listening to the music.

Someone had gone the extra mile with the playlist, playing the old tunes from their university days when they were still fresh and dreaming of bright futures.

May I have this dance? a voice cut through the din. Nadine turned and recognised him at once.

Its Luke Sayer from the parallel cohort. He married in his third year, and I always regretted that you never knew what I felt for you back then.

Nad, you look stunning. Ive never been to a reunion before and I recognise you straight away!

Luke extended his hand; Nadine didnt refuse, stood, and joined him on the floor, catching Ritas surprised glance as she returned to their table.

They swayed for a few songs in quiet, then Luke suddenly asked, Nad, may I walk you home? Ill be honest Ive been divorced for years, but if you have a husband waiting, Ill just see you safely home, its getting late

He escorted her home, and the next day they met again, never parting thereafter.

Nat helped choose the dress and shoes for her eventual wedding. Shed rounded out a bit; soon Nadine might be a grandmother. It felt odd to think of herself as a bride.

Nadia finally gave herself permission to be happy.

Nat leaned in, whispering, Nadia, youre absolutely gorgeous! Tom and I are thrilled for you happiness isnt agerestricted.

And truly, as she sat at the wedding reception, she glanced at her husband, Alex, and thought, Maybe now I finally can.

Nadia finally forgave herself and allowed joy back into her life.

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