The Hospital Ward Felt Oppressive and Overwhelming: Anna Covered Her Ears to Block Out the Wailing B…

The hospital ward always weighed heavily on the spirit and frayed the nerves. Alice cupped her hands over her ears, wishing desperately not to hear the endless wailing of newborns from the next room. More than anything, she wanted to run from that place and erase it all from her memory, like a terrible dream.

Alice, my dear, wont you even look at her? pleaded the elderly midwife, Aunt Mildred. Shes the very image of you, I swear, like two peas in a pod!

No! Please dont, I beg you. Ive signed the papers, havent I? I said no. What more do you want from me? The young woman was on the edge of tears. I havent anywhere to bring her home to, cant you understand?

Quiet now! Youll scare the baby, chided the midwife, peering kindly at her. Now, whats all this about nowhere to go? Youve a mother, perhaps a father?

I have only my old mum, and she can barely look after herself. I cant just arrive back in the village with a baby in my arms, everyone will laugh at me.

So let them have a good laugh! A little laughter never hurt anyone, Aunt Mildred smiled. But truly, people will gossip for a while, and soon itll all be forgotten. But you, youll regret this forever, love. Youll never stop thinking about the little one you left behind.

Alice buried her face in her hands and wept. Mildred knew then she was almost through to the girljust a little more.

Just look! Shes got your nose, so dainty and upturned. And those eyeswhy, shell be a blue-eyed beauty, just like her mother.

But I dont even have a single nappy. And how am I to afford the train back home with her? Alices defences were crumbling.

Oh, is that all? Mildred waved her hand dismissively. Well sort it for you. Theres a fund for these things, and well put together a layette for her. Ill see you safely to the station myself. Now then, have you decided on a name?

Grace, Alice whispered.

A lovely name. It suits her perfectly, smiled Aunt Mildred. Take her, feed her now, and Ill pop back in a minute.

With bated breath, Aunt Mildred placed the baby in Alices arms. Very cautiously, almost unsure, Alice accepted her daughter. Tears slid down the young mothers cheeks. Holding Grace close, she knew with certainty she could never part from her.

Well then, did it work? asked the doctor quietly. Will she rescind her statement?

It worked! beamed the midwife, dabbing at her eyes.

Standing on the railway platform, Alice felt as though she had awoken from some awful dream. Clutching her baby tightly, she seemed afraid someone would take her away. Beside her stood Mildred, seeing Alice and Grace off as shed promised.

Thank you. Im ashamed now to think I nearly abandoned my own daughter, Alice murmured.

Youve had it hard, love. But difficult times always pass, while losing a child is forever. Once, I made a mistake I can never undo. Im still paying for it, Mildred said sadly.

What happened? Alice asked in surprise. I always thought you a saint.

I found myself in your shoes once. Only, Id no family and no home. I made the wrong choice, sought help from the wrong person. It cost me the chance ever to have children again, confessed Mildred, tears spilling out.

Oh, how dreadful! Was there nothing you could have done? Alice was stricken.

No. My husband was good, but when he learnt thered be no children, he left too The old woman wept, unable to stop herself.

Im so sorry. All these years, delivering other peoples babies, but never holding your own, Alice said gently.

Alice, take care of Grace. And remember, if ever you find yourself in hard times, you know where to find me.

They embraced, like family. Soon the train pulled in, and Alice, waving through the window, watched Aunt Mildred until she was just a figure dabbing her tears on the lonely platform.

The journey was long and arduous. Alice approached the gate of her childhood cottage, her baby in one arm, the gift parcel of baby clothes and blankets in the other. How will Mum take it? What will she say? she wondered anxiously.

Alice? Is that you? called a neighbour, Mrs Jenkins, peering over the gate.

Yes, its me. Is my mother home? Alice replied.

Didnt you know, love? Shes been gone these six months now, replied Mrs Jenkins gently.

Perhaps it was for the best, Alice thought sadly, that her mother never lived to see her daughter in such a predicament. Thats your baby? Mrs Jenkins nodded towards Grace.

Yes. Shes mine, Alice answered with sudden pride.

On unsteady legs, Alice walked into the cottage garden. She wanted to scream or sob in anguish, but instead she clung to her daughter, knowing she now needed to stay strong above all else. Were together now, little one. Im not alone anymore. Well get through this, just wait and see, she whispered, squeezing her precious Grace close to her heart.

***

Ten years passed. Christmastide approached. Alice bustled around the kitchen, while Grace gazed wistfully out the frosted window at the snowy garden paths.

Mum, why dont I have a grandma? Grace asked suddenly. My friends boast about visiting their grans and granddads every Christmas. They get lovely presents and are always welcomed with open arms.

Im sorry, darling. Your granny passed away long ago. She never got to meet you, Alice replied softly.

But what about another grandma? Grace pressed.

What other? Alice looked puzzled.

All my friends have two grandmas at least, Grace insisted.

Well then, as it happens, you do have another! Perhaps we could pay her a visit? Bring her some mince pies? Alice smiled, recalling Aunt Mildred.

No sooner suggested than done. The next day, Alice and Grace travelled to town. At the maternity hospital, Alice asked after Aunt Mildred.

Oh, she hasnt worked here for ages, said the ward sister. Retired, she did, poor health.

We came a long way to see her. Perhaps you have her address or phone number? Alice asked.

I really shouldnt The ward sisters look was firm. And how exactly are you related?

Im her niece! Alice lied, guessing theyd never give a stranger the details. Its been years, I quite forgot where exactly she lives. Please, help us!

Please, we really want to see Gran, Grace added earnestly.

Oh, very well, Ill see what I can do, relented the nurse.

Fifteen anxious minutes later, she returned with an address on a slip of paper. Give her my best, she said.

Thank you! We will! Alice beamed gratefully.

They took a black cab to the address. Alices heart pounded as they climbed to the third floor. Let us not be too late she prayed. The door opened almost at once. Standing in the threshold, Aunt Mildred looked as sprightly as ever.

Good evening! Alice smiled.

The old lady peered at her, brow furrowed in concentration. Alice?

Yes! And you havent changed a bit! Alice grinned. This is Grace. Remember?

Of course, I do! laughed Aunt Mildred. But why are we all stood in the hall? Come in, girls, come in!

Soon, over tea and biscuits, the women chattered about life. There was so much to catch up on.

Grace played with a chubby tabby on the sofa, laughter filling the little sitting room.

Alice, why dont you stay with me? Im alone now, and so are you and Grace Well find a good school for Grace here, you can settle into work.

Im not sure. What about my cottage in the village? Itd be a shame to leave. Maybe youd come live with us instead? Wed keep a little garden, perhaps even a cow. The air is so clean, the river nearbysummer is magical there, nothing like the city, Alice said, persuading her.

Id love that! I always dreamed of a little patch of earth, though never dared hope for a cow, Mildred chuckled. Her eyes glittered with hope, and an old spark flickered back to life.

Then its settled! Youre moving in with us! Alice exclaimed, delighted.

Gran Mildred, will you stay with us forever now? Grace threw her arms round the old lady.

Yes, my dear. Always wanted such a lovely granddaughter.

The very next day, packed to the rafters with trunks, the three of them set off to the village. Each, in their way, brimmed with happiness. Alice rejoiced to have someone closea friend, almost a mother, with her and her child. Aunt Mildred, whod never dared dream shed find a real family again in her old age, travelled in excitement to her little slice of paradise. And Grace glowed, for now, at last, she too had a beloved grandmother.