Troubled Children

Spoiled Children

Youve ruined him! You indulge him in everything, and now he rules the roost! Helen, you cant keep doing this! Youve completely spoiled the boy! As, for that matter, I spoiled you in your day! Theres no one to blame but myself! Look at youspoiled children! And dont bother telling me youre grown up! Youre still the child you always werecant think straight or make a decent decision if your life depended on it! Valerie cast a withering look at her daughter, slammed the fridge door, and jumped as the family photo magnet crashed onto the tiled floor.

The photograph was from last summer at the seaside resorta holiday Valerie hadnt been invited on this time. For years, shed travelled with the children, helping with her grandchildren, relaxing, meeting useful new people. But not this year.

Her daughters explanation for the exclusion had sounded odd.

Mum, things are a bit tight this year. So, were just taking the kids ourselves. Well get you a trip a bit later on, I promise. Start thinking about where youd like to go, alright?

But Helen! And what about the children? Wholl look after them?

Mum, Daniels old enough nowhe can look after himself and whoever else. And Eve will be with me. We cant afford the usual hotel with all the amenities, so well have to compromise. Eve needs the sea; you know how shell go a whole winter without so much as a sniffle after. If we cant cover an all-inclusive, well go whats it called, self-catering? Rent a flat by the coast and do it ourselves.

So theres no room for me, then, is there?

Valerie was deeply unimpressed by the prospect of a lonely trip to a sleepy spa town, where the only excitement was the Sunday ballroom for those of a certain age, and the company was hardly inspiring. How different it was at a proper hotel, bustling with international guests and our sortdecent people! Especially someone like her, with her qualifications and two languagesshe could take her pick. But not this time

Mum, you do understand, dont you? A holidays more than just a place to stay. Theres travel, food and everything else.

As if I eat you out of house and home! Valerie bristled, genuinely riled now.

Oh, Mum! Why must I explain the obvious? We simply dont have the cash for a full family trip, alright? Id love to have you along, truly, but I cant stretch that far. There was the work on your flat, my health last year, Daniels tutorsits all drained the coffers. So what do you want from me? Cancel the holiday? Let the kids miss out on the sea when they need it? And Im exhausted! Mum, you know how this years been. Youve seen it all.

Oh, Ive seen plenty! Ive seen youve no time for the kids at all! Its all fallen to me and to Stanleys mother to do the lot. Picking Eve up from nursery, meeting Daniel after school, feeding them, ferrying them about…

Mum, dont exaggerate. Daniel does his football training on his own, and you only take Eve to dancehardly every day. We could cut dance for now, since theres a group at nursery, but you insisted on her having outside classes. Said it was essential for her development.

So Im to blame then?” Valeries voice climbed to a dangerous pitch as she clutched her chest. “You’re an ungrateful lot, you know that? I give everything, I fight for you, and still it’s never enough!”

Helen pressed her forehead to the window, her vision swimming. “Mum, please. I am grateful. Really. But you don’t have to throw it in my face every chance you get.”

But Valerie would hear none of it. She gathered her new swimsuit, still in its bag, left it pointedly in the middle of the lounge and swept out, wounded.

Wounded pride was an art form for Valerie; no need for a dramatic scene or condemnationher silence said enough. She simply ignored calls, rebuffed attempts to reconcile, and if she did reluctantly answer Helen, shed sigh dramatically and, with trembling voice, moan, Helen, darling, when your heart stops, or slows to barely a murmur, what do you think it means?

Helen would drop everything and dash out to her mothers cottage, Valeries golden sanctuary for such emotional retirements. After each return, Helen would collapse on her bed, keys thrown on the hall table, overwhelmed by the exhaustion of it all, and quietly cry, lost as to why her mother treated her so.

Daniel would peek into her room, drape a blanket over her, and whisper, Mum, leave it. Dont go next time. Gran will cool off and come back herself.

Oh, Danielif only it were so simple…

Helen knew it wasnt. From her earliest days, Valerie had always been the samedelicate, clever, fluent in several languages and learned in music and life, but desperately sensitive. She could scold in English or French with equal ease. Nothing frightened young Helen more than her mothers cold quiet, Helen darling, I want you to reflect on your behaviour. To your room.

That affectionate darling was reserved for Helen only in moments of displeasure. Good moods occurred rarely. Valerie always viewed the glass as half empty. Her world was one of disappointment, and that word, inadequate, came back endlesslythe label for colleagues, friends, family, neighbours, and nearly everyone else. And for years, not Helen; Helen was intelligence and beauty itself, a wonder child quick with books, playing piano at four, telling her mother, I hear music!

By the time Helen made the fatal mistake of a poor spelling test in Year Six, their certainty in each other wavered. Valerie reeled, heart in her hands, and sent her quietly to her room before hearing the explanation. It was Helens grandmother who found her daughter sobbing in the bath, trying to scrub a bloodstain from her skirt, the pains and confusion of growing up never explained to her.

A cold-war talk with Stanleys mother led only to Valeries declaration, Matters like this should be discussed with the mother!

Helenlost, still didnt understand. But how could I know…?

Next time, Helen, use your head! Thats what its there for! But Helen still never understood what crime shed committed.

That was when she first realised her mother wasnt perfect, that the mantra Mothers always put their child first wasn’t always true.

Disappointments followed, Valerie no longer bothering to hide her criticisms. Now she wore a silk scarf tied tight at her brow, her cure for headaches. When Helen saw her mother glide through the corridor, fingers brushing the band, she knew trouble was brewing.

Valerie never shouted but took her throne in her favourite chair, hands pressed to her temples, and her glacial tone could freeze blood: Helen! You destroy me

How and whyshe never explained. Helen was to guess. It could be anything: Choosing a medical career when Valerie thought it beneath her. You just dont understand! Your father, a surgeon, and what for? I lived alone for so many yearsthis isnt a profession for a woman! Leave it, Helen!

But Granny said to save lives is noble Father always wanted that too.

What difference does that make? Im a widow. You grew up fatherlessyour father died for that job! Think, not just about your ambitions, but the people around you!

The arguments continued long after Helen went to university. Valerie cut off all but the barest conversation for months. Next came the drama of Helens marriageto Stanleywho was never good enough.

You shock me, darling! Could you truly not find someone more suitable? And I dont just mean money. He doesnt know who Dickens is, hes never heard a single Puccini aria!

Stans a good man, Mum. And, more importantly, he loves me.

Love wont get you far, Helen! Youll see the truth when its too late!

At Helens wedding, Valerie dabbed her professionally made-up eyes with a pristine handkerchief, declaiming to all, Theyre young, inexperienced, but thats what mothers are for. Ill always be there!

Fate, as ever, twisted the knife; at the wedding, Valerie met her second husband, Simon Gregorya retired colonel with polished manners and impeccable French.

My word, where did you find that perfect accent? Valerie flirted outrageously, her handkerchief quickly hidden away.

My mother was a diplomats daughter who lived in France.

Marvellous!

Simon recited troubadour poetry, loved order and roses, and owned a villa outside London where Valerie busied herself, easing off on Helen for a while.

For the years she was married to Simon Gregory, Valerie was genuinely happy. He adored her, and she blossomedbecoming softer, especially when Daniel and later, Eve, were born.

Helen, what delightful children! Daniels cleverjust like his grandfather! And Eve, oh, shes beautiful. My nose and eyesshell be a stunner!

Helen took pleasure in her mothers change, wishing her happiness.

Contrary to Valeries predictions, Helens marriage to Stanley proved strong. He always handled his mother-in-law with unfailing politeness, and as his company flourished, Valerie grudgingly admitted Helen had done well.

She was against the couple taking out a mortgageYour own flat is your fortress, but what about the children? You cant juggle it all!

Stanley, ever determined, stood firm. Well be fine. My mother helps, but Helen wants to return to surgery, and I support her. My firms going well.

Your children have more than one grandmother, Stanley! Valeries haughty glance said all she needed.

Helen at last returned to medicine, the children thrived, the family moved house. But then came sorrowSimon Gregory fell ill and despite the best efforts, passed away, leaving Valerie alone, heartbroken.

Oh, Simon, how could you? Valerie wept. For once I felt truly alive, truly a woman. Was it so necessary to take it from me so soon?

Now she laid flowers for the men she had lost, and became impossible at times to the living.

Helen, as she could, tried to fill the gap. Holidays, weekends, celebrationsValerie was always there.

Whats wrong with that? Im family too! Valerie declared at every opportunity, ignoring suggestions Helen and her husband might want time alone.

Trouble arose when Daniel grew older. The hawk-eyed control especially irritated him, even if he loved his gran. Her constant nitpicking wore him thin.

Daniel! Again?! Must you play that dreadful music so loud? How can you listen to such rubbish? Valerie barged in, scowling dramatically at the noise. Its intolerable!

The silk scarf made its appearance, but it meant little to Daniel. He kept his complaints private and dealt with her his own way.

Eve! Come here! Lets have a band practice!

If Valerie caught them dancing to bands she disapproved, she nearly had the vapours. Daniel! Its bad enough with you, but Eve! No! Thats it, Im ringing your mother.

Call Dad instead, Gran! Mum switches her phone off in surgeryyou know that.

Stanley always handled these outbursts with calm, escorting Valerie home before joining in the music at home with Daniel, singing together, dreaming maybe one day it would reach more than just their ears.

Noting Daniels musical talent, Helen wanted to get him a guitar.

Dont you dare! protested Valerie. Youre casting me aside now, are you?

Mum, what are you talking about?

I couldnt bear it! He should be studying, not wasting time on nonsense!

But Mum, he does brilliantly at school! You always insisted on developing every side of the children, and you know music is part of that.

I meant something else and you know it! Oh, Helen, youre at it again

The arguments lasted days. Stanley sided with Helen. This time, Valerie withdrewrefusing phone calls and shutting her door to visitors. Shed long since reclaimed the spare keys from Helen.

But this time, Helens patience simply ran out.

If she doesnt want to talkfine! Enoughs enough! washing up on her one day off, she twisted round, and her favourite mugDaniels presentslipped and shattered across the kitchen floor.

It was those glittering shards that finally tipped the scales. Helen loved her mother, but realised that love had to change for everyones sake.

Daniel! her call echoed upstairs and Daniel shot down, worried by her rare raised tone.

Here, Mum!

Have you picked your guitar?

Really? Is it okay? his eyes shone so bright Helen had to smile.

Its absolutely right! You say that, dont you?

Yeah! But whatll Gran say?

Shell say were spoiledbut dont mind that. Get ready, lets go!

Where?

The music shop, of course! Where else do you get guitars?

Brilliant! Ill grab Eve, she has to help me choose!

As she watched her children rush off, Helen marvelled at Daniels kindnesswhat other teenage boy would take his six-year-old sister to help pick a guitar?

The guitar was bought, and Daniels bedroom transformed into a rehearsal studio. Soon, there were mates, borrowed kit, recording attempts, and eventually, a short music video with Eve singing went viral online. It was clearthe effort had paid off.

Helen rejoiced: her children were busy and happy, and Daniel, at last, had stopped being prickly. After long days easing others pain and holding onto hope, she came home to children sharing aspirations and dreamsknowing she was, in the end, doing the right thing.

Meanwhile, Valerie waited. She cleaned, baked, arranged everything just so, waiting for Helen to come and apologise as always.

A week passed. Then another. Helen didnt appear.

At first Valerie was puzzled, then angryvowing Helen wouldnt get away with an apology next time. Then, a strange thing happened. For the first time in her life, Valerie realised shed met her match, that not everything bent to her will. Anyone else, shed simply have cut out of her life. But Helen was different. For all her stubbornnessValerie loved her.

A month, then another

Eventually, Valerie understood: no one was coming. No apologies this time.

The realisation was painfully slow. How could her daughter be so cruel, when Valerie had devoted her life to her and the children? How could a single harsh word ruin a family?

Eventually, tired of pacing her empty home, Valerie retreated to her cottage in the hope that country air would soothe her. It didnt. She wandered through the house and garden, aching with loneliness but couldnt admit that all of this, in part, was her doing.

Summer faded to autumn rains. One day, sitting with her cup of tea, Valerie watched the neighbours grandchildren splash in their wellies through the garden. Years ago, Simon had refused to put up a solid fence, insisting the old ironwork his friend had made was far more attractive. So Valerie had always politely nodded at the neighbours, forced now to witness their joy.

The neighbours were successful academics with five clever, well-mannered grandkidsenvy at its stinging worst. As she watched the youngest leap through puddles, Valerie decided enough was enough. She could let pride rule until all that was left were white carnations at her own funeral. Whod thank her for that?

The cup rattled on the saucer. Valerie grabbed her keys and drove.

It was a quiet Sunday, and she reached Helens village in no time. Pulling up outside her daughters house, for the first time, Valerie was nervousshe was the one who had to make the first move. Not her traditional role at all. She sat for ages, rehearsing what shed say.

The plan collapsed the moment she stepped onto the drive and found the door already open. As she climbed the porch steps, music thundered from upstairsdrums, guitars, the works. Peering round the kitchen door, she saw Helen spinning with a spatula, singing at the top of her voice about dolls and wizards, Eve clapping alongside.

Brilliant! Mum, lets make a music video too! Eve giggled.

Setting down the spatula, Helen poured juice for Eve. Here! Take these upboys must be thirsty!

Helen turned, saw Valerie standing in the doorway, and froze. For a moment, time itself seemed to hold its breath, waiting to see what these two women would say.

Eve hovered on the kitchen threshold, but Helen smiled. Hi, Mum! Could you watch the roast, please? Well eat soon, once the boys are done rehearsing. Are you hungry?

Valerie nodded, slipping off her raincoat. Yes, I am.

Good! Eve, snap out of it! Have you forgotten what Gran looks like?

Eve grinned. Nope! Gran, Ive quit dance. Mum signed me up for singing school now! Daniel reckons Im actually good!

Valerie blinked back tears and grabbed the juice from Eve. Let me take thisI want to see Daniels guitar. Is it nice?

Oh, yes! Its red. I helped choose! Come on, Ill show you!

Eve bounded upstairs. Helen nodded at her mother, gently, Well? Come along, Mum. The hardest steps behind you

And so Valerie climbed the stairsDaniel, with his shy, grown-up nod, showed her his guitar.

Something shifted.

Not everything, naturally. Old habits cling fiercely. Disagreements and misunderstandings would surely remain. Helen would sigh through more of her mothers opinions, and Valerie would always wonder where shed gone wrong.

But the family would at last grasp something essentialif you want to be heard, you must first learn to listen. Only then will everything fall into place, and those closest to you stay by your side. And what more could you want?