З життя
ЗУСТРІЧ З АНГЕЛОМ.
ЗУСТРІЧ З АНГЕЛОМ
У Оксани був чудовий настрій. Важкі пологи закінчилися успішно. Сьогодні вона допомогла з’явитися на світ новому жителю планети. Оксана працювала акушером-гінекологом у перинатальному центрі. Після важкої зміни вона поспішала додому.
Руки тягнули сумка і пакет з продуктами. Чоловік намагався переконати її сісти за кермо, щоб вона не залежала від автобусів, коли його немає вдома, оскільки часто виїжджав у відрядження. Він навіть провів кілька уроків водіння, але вона не змогла. Вона боялася… боялася до жаху.
Річ у тому, що в дитинстві Оксана дивом не потрапила під машину. Вона досі пам’ятає цей наближаючий жах! Вона й на пасажирському місці почувалася некомфортно, а самій за кермо? Ніколи!
Завтра вихідний, і Оксани день народження, 40 років. Вона, загрузлена в прикмети, вирішила його не відзначати. Так, лише в сімейному колі, коли вся родина збереться вдома.
До зупинки залишилося зовсім мало. Оксана відчула, що дуже втомилася. Раптом вона послизнулася (це завжди відбувається несподівано), нога поїхала вбік, і Оксана разом зі своїми сумками впала у сніговий замет! Вітаючи себе з м’яким приземленням, вона міркувала, як би їй культурніше піднятися?
– Дівчино, Ви не вдарились?
Голос роздався з-за правого плеча.
– Ви не можете встати? Дайте мені руку! –
А вона приємно здивувалася: це був приємний чоловік, приблизно її віку, доброзичливе, спокійне обличчя, усмішка, що викликала довіру…
Він легко витягнув Оксану зі снігу, допоміг струсити сніг з одягу.
– Ви завжди поспішаєте, – а голос у нього такий добрий, їй здалося, що вона вже колись чула цей голос… але ні, вони раніше не зустрічалися. Вона подякувала йому. Треба йти.
– Ви дуже втомилися, Оксано, – сказав він вже без усмішки. Це було сказано з такою турботою, як міг би сказати лише найрідніший.
– Ви дуже втомилися, так не можна, – тихо повторив незнайомець.
– Відпочину у вихідні. До того ж, у мене завтра день народження, – сказала Оксана.
Незнайомець знову усміхнувся.
– Вітаю! Я хочу зробити вам подарунок. Сьогодні перед сном скажіть, – Нехай завтра моє життя зміниться на краще! І ваше життя обов’язково зміниться. Тільки не забудьте! –
– Не забуду, – усміхнулася Оксана.
Незнайомець попрощався і зник за рогом будинку. А ось і довгоочікуваний автобус.
Дім, як завжди, чекав господиню у безладі. У передпокої безлад, у кухонній раковині гора немитого посуду. Песик Данко скавулів біля своєї порожньої миски і докірливо дивився на господиню.
Спершу нагодувати Даню, вийти з ним на прогулянку. Напівзамерзлого песика знайшла на вулиці дочка два роки тому. Принесла додому і вмовила матір залишити, пообіцявши самостійно доглядати за ним. Доглядала… тижні два, а потім турбота про знайду непомітно перейшла до Оксани.
Скільки часу пройшло? Вона нарешті завершила всі хатні справи. Добре, що ніхто не відволікав і не нервував з приводу неготової вечері. Чоловік у відрядженні в сусіднє місто. Дочка у її матері. Завтра вони приїдуть. Чоловік наперед повідомив, що не зможе приїхати. Тож завтра треба приготувати якусь святкову страву, а поки можна відпочити наодинці.
Самітність – це таке багатство, ніхто не тягне з проблемами, не давить на психіку своїм поганим настроєм. Можна насолоджуватися самотністю, слухати музику, читати книгу… Але хочеться лише спати.
Вона вже засинала, коли згадала пораду незнайомця і, не розуміючи навіщо, прошепотіла, – Нехай завтра моє життя зміниться на краще. –
Ранковий дзвінок у двері був повною несподіванкою. На порозі з’явився чоловік. Найдивовижніше, що він сяяв, як начищений п’ятак, ніби не мав звичного похмурого та буркотливого виразу обличчя.
– Привіт, моє сонце, – сказав чоловік ніжно.
Оксану охопив шок. Вона давно не чула від нього таких слів. Колись дуже засмучувалась через його неласкавий характер, а потім звикла.
І ось, коли вже геть звикла до життя без “телячих ніжностей”… Ну і ну! Ніби тверезий, в руках об’ємний пакет.
– З днем народження! Я так скучив, домовився і приїхав додому. Без мене впораються, – і все це тим же ніжним голосом.
Оксана відступила назад, не в змозі повірити. Микола зайшов, поставив пакет, обійняв, поцілував, бурмочучи якісь милищі слова.
А де звичне буркотіння і невдоволене обличчя? Оксана дивувалася все більше і більше. Забуте відчуття щастя накотило хвилею тепла.
Задзвонив телефон.
– З днем народження, мамочко! Найдобрішою, найулюбленішою, найкрасивішою! Я приїду до обіду, і бабуся теж. У нас для тебе такий чудовий подарунок, – весело щебетала дочка.
Потім головний лікар привітав і порадував, що можна взяти три дні відгулів, які давно забулися з минулого року. Потім подруга, тітка, однокласник, вдячні пацієнтки…
До доброго звикаєш швидко. Оксані здавалося, що так було завжди. І багатство доброго зовсім не виглядало дивним.
Увечері, провівши гостей, Оксана пішла прогулятися в сусідній парк із песиком.
Вчорашній незнайомець з’явився зовсім несподівано, – Гарний був день, Оксано? З днем народження тебе! –
– Постійте, звідки Ви знаєте моє ім’я? Ми з Вами ніколи не зустрічалися, якщо пам’ять мене не зраджує, – напряму запитала Оксана.
– Ми знайомі 40 років, Оксано. Тобі важко це зрозуміти, але спробуй. Я з тобою з першого дня твого життя. Я твій ангел-охоронець.
Пам’ятаєш, коли тобі було 5 років і ти вибігла за м’ячем на дорогу? Тоді ніхто не міг зрозуміти, як так вийшло, що вантажівка проскочила повз? Шансів врятуватися у тебе не було. Ніхто не бачив, як я переніс тебе через дорогу, але це строго між нами.
А коли ви студентською компанією вирушили купатися до незнайомої річки, ти підвернула ногу (моя робота) і залишилася в гуртожитку. Там була небезпечна воронка і ти повинна була потрапити в неї.
А вчора, хто тебе посадив у замет? Упади ти на хвилину раніше, однозначно зламала б ніжку.
Я постійно допомагаю тобі, непомітно і ненав’язливо. Я й надалі буду завжди поруч, така служба. Але…
Мені важко з тобою.
Ти любиш чоловіка, дочку, маму, подруг, пацієнтів, а себе?
Ти не любиш себе!
Ти взвалюєш на свої плечі непосильний вантаж. Ти абсолютно не любиш себе, і наївно чекаєш любові від інших, але так не буває! Якщо ти не любиш себе, ніхто не любитиме тебе, будуть лише користуватися тобою!
Я порушив протокол і матеріалізувався, щоб донести до тебе цю думку, треба себе любити! –
– Ви, дійсно, знаєте про мене все, але у ангелів повинні бути крила, – засумнівалася Оксана.
– І що ви за люди? У всьому шукаєте підвох. Ти не помітила, що у мене широке пальто? – він розстебнув його, повернувся боком і Оксана побачила складені крила.
– А тепер прощавай! Мені пора, – сказав він їй і розчинився в пелені падаючого снігу.
P.S
– Казка, – скажете ви, мої дорогі читачі.
– Казка, – відповім я вам, але казка – брехня, та в ній натяк.
Любіть себе і будьте щасливі! Я бажаю цього вам від щирого серця!
He Hated His Wife. Hated Her… They Spent 15 Years Together, Fifteen Mornings Waking Up Side by Side—But Only in the Last Year Did Her Habits Begin to Drive Him Mad, Especially One: Stretching Out Her Arms in Bed and Sleepily Saying, “Good Morning, Sunshine! Today Will Be a Wonderful Day.” What Seemed a Simple Phrase, Her Slim Arms, Her Sleepy Face, Now Filled Him with Disgust. She’d Rise, Walk Past the Window, Gaze Out for a While, Then Slip off Her Nightdress and Head to the Bathroom. Early in Marriage, He’d Adored Her Body, Its Natural Confidence That Seemed Almost Indecent—But Now, Though She Was Still Beautiful, Her Nakedness Made Him Angry. Once, He Even Considered Pushing Her to Hurry Her Morning Routine but Only Managed a Gruff: “Get a Move On—I’ve Had Enough!” She Refused to Rush or Let His Affectionless Hostility Change Her Pace—She Knew About His Affair, Even Recognized the Young Woman He’d Been Seeing for Three Years. Time Dulles the Sharp Sting of Pride, Leaving Only a Lingering Sense of Uselessness. She Forgave Him—the Aggression, the Neglect, His Need to Relive His Youth—But She Wouldn’t Let Him Rob Her of Living Mindfully, Cherishing Each Moment. She’d Made Up Her Mind When She Learned She Was Ill. The Disease Was Slowly Consuming Her; It Would Win Soon. Her First Urge Was to Confess to Everyone—To Lessen the Brutal Truth by Sharing the Burden with Loved Ones. Yet She Endured the Hardest Day Alone, Accepting Her Fate, and Then Resolved to Remain Silent. Life Slipped Away, Yet Each Day She Gained the Wisdom of a True Observer. She Found Solace in a Quiet English Countryside Library, a Ninety-Minute Walk Each Way. Every Day, She’d Hide in the Narrow Aisles Marked “Life & Death’s Secrets” by the Elderly Librarian and Lose Herself in Books She Hoped Contained Every Answer. He’d Go to His Lover’s Flat, Where Everything Felt Warm, Bright, Familiar. Their Love Affair Had Grown Wild—Three Years of Passion, Jealousy, Heartache, and Asphyxiating Desire. Today He Came With a Decision: Divorce. Why Torment All Three of Them? He Didn’t Love His Wife—No, He Hated Her—and Here, He Could Start Fresh, Find Happiness. He Tried to Recall His Feelings for His Wife, but There Was Nothing—He Couldn’t Even Remember Caring for Her on That First Day. He Pulled Out a Photo of Her from His Wallet, Tore It Into Pieces—Determined to End It. They Arranged to Meet at the Restaurant Where, Six Months Earlier, They’d Celebrated Fifteen Years as Husband and Wife. She Arrived First. He Stopped Home to Find the Divorce Papers, Ransacking Drawers in a Panic Until He Spotted a Dark Blue Folder He’d Never Seen Before. He Ripped Off the Seal, Expecting Dirty Secrets—But Found Only Medical Reports, Official Documents. His Wife’s Name on Every Page. Realisation Struck Like Lightning; She Was Ill. He Googled the Diagnosis: “6–18 Months Life Expectancy.” Six Months Had Already Passed. He Remembered Little of What Happened Next—Only the Words “6–18 Months” Looping Relentlessly in His Mind. She Waited for Forty Minutes. No Answer from His Phone. She Paid the Bill and Went Outside. The Autumn Weather Was Glorious—The Sun Gentle, Comforting. “Life Is Beautiful, the World So Wonderful, So Warm.” For the First Time Since Her Diagnosis, She Felt Sorry for Herself. She’d Found the Strength to Hide Her Secret from Everyone, Sparing Them the Pain at the Cost of Her Own Crumbling Life. After This Year, She Would Be Nothing but a Memory. She Wandered Down the Street, Watching Bright Faces Filled With Hope Of Winters and Springs Yet to Come—As If the Future Were Theirs To Shape. She Would Never Know That Feeling Again. Bitterness Swelled and Burst Forth as Tears She Couldn’t Stop… He Paced the Room. For the First Time, He Felt The Swift Passage of Life as a Physical Ache. He Remembered His Wife Young, Full of Hope When They First Met—He’d Loved Her Then. In That Moment, Fifteen Years Vanished: Happiness, Youth, and Life Still Ahead. In Her Final Weeks, He Became Devoted, At Her Side Every Hour, Overcome by a Joy He’d Never Known. He Was Terrified She’d Leave—He Would Have Given His Own Life to Save Hers. Had Someone Reminded Him Of His Hatred Just a Month Ago, He’d Have Sworn: “That Wasn’t Me.” He Witnessed Her Battle to Say Goodbye, Weeping Secretly at Night When She Thought He Slept—He Understood No Punishment Was Worse Than Knowing Your Days Are Numbered. He Saw Her Fight for Every Moment, Grasping Even the Smallest Hope. She Died Two Months Later. He Covered the Path from Home to Cemetery in Flowers. He Wept Like a Child as Her Coffin Was Lowered—He Felt Centuries Older. At Home, Beneath Her Pillow, He Found a New Year’s Wish She Had Written: “To Be Happy With Him Until My Last Day.” They Say All New Year’s Wishes Come True—Perhaps They Do, For That Year He Wrote: “To Be Free.” In the End, Each Got Exactly What, It Seemed, They Had Wished For…
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