Why You Should Stop Inviting Guests Over to Your Home: My Personal Experience

28October2025

Ive recently made a firm decision: Im no longer going to invite anyone to my home. It isnt because Im trying to save a few quid; after all, I live in a detached house in Surrey, I have a garden, a decent kitchen and enough pantry space to host a proper meal.

There are several reasons behind this choice, and they all centre on the endless cycle of cooking for guests and then scrubbing everything clean afterwards. I can cook wellId even call myself a decent bakerbut I dont enjoy spending half the day hunched over the stove. For my children, Jack and Lucy, and for my husband Tom Im happy to devise something special, yet when its about entertaining friends or relatives I simply dont want to waste my energy trying to make everyone happy.

Whenever friends or family turn up, Im forced to devote a solid halfday to the kitchen. While they lounge and chat, Im sweating over pots and pans, and none of them offer to help because theyre there to relax, not to work. Once theyve left, the cleanup drags on for hours. I end up tidying while theyre still in the house, moving furniture back into place, sweeping up stray toys, and changing the bedding thats been displaced.

Its not that they leave a trash heap behindtheres no candy wrappers littering the floor, and the house doesnt look like a landfill after they go. The problem is the disorder they create. Cousins arrive with their kids, and suddenly there are Lego bricks on the dining table, crayon marks on the curtains, and a dented vase that fell from the windowsill. We have to pick up soil, wash the floor and replant the flower. Sometimes they even manage to jam a door knob or loosen a lock.

I cant keep an eye on every child, and I certainly cant punish other peoples youngsters. Their own parents are busy chatting with other guests, so the chaos spreads. Im left with the double task of cooking a meal and then restoring the whole house to its previsit state.

Guests also tend to pry into our family life. I make a point of not doing any laundryespecially not washing intimate garmentswhen I know Ill have visitors. I stash away things in cupboards, but that only encourages them to ask me to open the doors and show them whats inside. Some even feel compelled to inspect the kitchen in minute detail, which feels like an invasion of privacy. Our modest flat is already packed with furniture, vases and hanging plants, and people keep snapping off a sprig of rosemary to take home.

At times I wondered if the problem lay with methat perhaps Im a poor host. But after counting the number of visits over the past few years, I realised Im simply unwilling to sacrifice my energy on cooking, cleaning and constant smalltalk. Id rather meet friends for a coffee at the local café, go for a walk in the park, and return to a tidy house where I can relax without the lingering scent of burnt onions.