The Family Heirloom Gemstone

The Family Heirloom

No! Dont try to talk me out of it, Mum! Im going to do it no matter what you say!

Hannah, please! Tell me, why on earth do you want to do this?

Because he walks into the room a whole minute before I do! Because I cant look at my own face in the mirror! Because Ill never have a normal life! Ill never marry or have children! Oh God, Mum! Dont you understand?! Hannah burst into tears, hurling her hairbrush at the unsuspecting Whiskers.

The pillow, which he was diligently clawing at during the argument, had been embroidered patiently by Hannahs own hands. It was meant as a gift for Granny, but the great family row that had once split their large clan into two unyielding camps prevented Hannah from giving it. The lovely velvet roses now served Hannah herself, occasionally subjected to the wild attacks of that household nuisance, their familys prideWhiskers the cat.

It was Hannah who had brought Whiskers home, and so she considered it her duty to educate the rebellious creature shed rescued from a gang of local boys. Theyd nearly tortured the poor cat, figuring that since he had no owner, nobody would step in. The boys didnt count on Hannahs intervention.

Theyd underestimated Hannah. Slight and gentle as her mother hoped, she was as her father wished: capable and strong-willed. She held a black belt in karate and had so many trophies that they crowded her bookshelfa constant source of irritation for Hannah whenever she tried to clean. She loathed dusting, and the inevitable dust covering her great sporting achievements filled her with despair. But her mother refused to let her get rid of the trophies, claiming, quite sensibly, that they boosted her self-esteem.

Her martial arts skills had come in handyafter getting a taste of Hannahs resilience, the boys retreated, and she became the proud owner of a bedraggled, balding kitten with a skinny, unattractive tail. The tail soon recovered, and the creature grew into a shamelessly fluffy felineabsolutely convinced that Hannah was his property. As for gratitude, Whiskers believed the occasional opportunity to scratch his impressive behind-the-ear fluff more than compensated.

Whiskers admission as a full-fledged family member came on a day when Hannah was returning home from the Royal Academy, disgruntled and tense. Her preparations for the competition in which she was to perform weren’t going well. Her usually adept fingers fumbled the moment her course mateJameswalked into the practice room.

James, whom Hannah had known nearly as long as shed known herself (theyd first been at school and then at music college together), had suddenly seemed utterly alien and mysterious to her. They hadnt seen each other for monthssummer holidays, James away visiting family, and when Hannah saw him again, she grew shy. When James, in his usual way, casually put his arm around her while chatting to their friends, Hannah felt a happiness so overwhelming it left her motionless under the warmth of his hand, wishing the moment would last. At any other time, she mightve shrugged him offpossibly giving him a friendly thump for good measurebut now, she simply wanted to stay like that, melting in delight.

Of course, when James dashed away to rehearsal, clutching crumpled sheet music and cheerfully announcing his return, Hannah scolded herself. Silly girl! How could she imagine such foolishness?

But that strange, consuming feeling refused to leave her. Her eyes couldnt help but follow her tousle-haired prince, though her lashes fluttered down the instant he glanced her way.

It was agony and bliss in one. On one hand, Hannah ached to confess everything to James. On the other, she was so frightened by the thought that her fingers went cold and numb, and she lost all confidence.

Hannah suffered in silence.

She couldnt tell anyone what was happeningnot her mother, who she was sure wouldnt understand. Or maybe it just felt that way, but either way, the thought of discussing her first love with her mother was preposterous.

Her relationship with her mother, Barbara, was never straightforward. They loved each other fiercely, but they both knew that neither lacked for character. That meant they had to restrain themselvesto avoid hurting those they loved. Yet, they often failed. Their rows werent wild shouty affairs; rather, theyd quietly close a door between them, and then an uneasy silence would settle in the house.

Cultural annihilation, Granny used to call itbefore the great falling-out. Afterwards, shed add, Utter nonsense!

Hannah agreed with Granny, but family patterns die hard. Usually, Hannah was the first to reach out and restore the delicate peace at home.

Hannah knew beyond doubt her mother adored herwith a fierce, sometimes painful love. For Barbara Smith, there was nothing in the world more precious than her daughter, and Hannah knew her mother would do anythingeven lock her awayto keep her safe from any harm.

Barbara cared for Hannah as best she could, but it meant Hannahs world was limited to home, lessons, and the occasional trip to the countryside or family holidays. Shed never been to summer camp and didnt mix with classmates outside school. Her friends were always the children of her mothers own friendscarefully selected, yet to Hannah, they felt like strangers. Laura, for instance, never missed an opportunity to tease, inventing so-called funny but deeply hurtful nicknames, while Simon had proved a proper troublemaker, twisting the head off Hannahs beloved teddy bear the very first day they met:

So he should! said Simon.

Why, Hannah never grasped, but shed sob every time Simon appeared at the doorway afterwards.

Oh, such a pity the children didnt form a match! Theyd have made a lovely couple. Simons mother, whom Hannah found insufferably patronising, always tried to console her, but Hannah could sense how false it was.

Barbara! Dont stifle the child! Granny would say, with Hannah hiding in her embrace, Give her some choice. If you take it away now, shell grow up believing shes inadequate!

Oh do stop, Margaret, Barbara would snap. Hannah is just a childwhat choices can she make? Im responsible for her, so I decide.

Careful, or youll start treating your child like your property, Granny would reply.

Why did that conversation stick in Hannahs memory so vividly? She didnt know, yet every time her mother grew insistent, Hannah would repeat, Mum! Im not your property!

It never failed to enrage Barbara.

Stop parroting other people! Think for yourself!

But I do! Hannah would retort, and silence would fall once more.

With Granny, Hannah was forced to stop speaking after the great family quarrel. Who was right or wrongHannah chose not to dwell on it. They were all to blame!

Granny, who, in her grief, had thrown harsh words at Barbara: You should mind your nerves when carrying a child! Over-sensitivity… Utter rot! You mustnt only think of yourself! Knowing your own health, how could you risk it all? Barbara, what were you thinking?

And her mother, who made Hannah and her father walk on eggshells through endless mood swings while expecting a second child. Barbara would wake the whole house in the night, sobbing, Youre all so heartless! Have you no pity at all? Its inhuman!

No one quite knew what Barbara wanted from them; they crept around quietly as possible, yet nothing was enough. The loss, late in pregnancy, crushed them. There was no point blaming the doctors course of treatment; Barbara blamed the world, and only Granny dared confront her.

If you try again, it must be with a good specialist! Why didnt you come to me, Barbara? Was it pride, or what? Always on your own! And look at the consequences! Its not just youthe whole family lost someone. Still, blaming you wont do any good. If you try again, sort your health properly. Children arent conjured from thin air, not at your age! Thats my advice as a doctor, not your mother-in-law! Listen to me and stop torturing your family. Theyve done what they can; take charge! Youre a mother and a wifeact like one. You have a daughter, and with effort, you might have another.

That tirade cost Granny dearly; she was taken to hospital straight after, yet Barbara never forgave her for speaking her mind.

At first, Hannahs father attempted to heal the rift, but realising his efforts were pointless with two stubborn women, he gave up and waited for them to calm down.

It was a long wait. Hannah missed her grandmother desperately, but didnt dare cross her mother. Barbara, shattered by loss, clung to Hannah more fiercely than ever, finding all her strength in her daughter.

But, Mum, why didnt you try again? You always wanted a son, didnt you? Hannah ventured, just once.

Barbara shot her a look so icy that Hannah knew never to mention it again, lest a storm sweep away what little was left of their family.

Granny was perhaps the only one to whom Hannah could have confessed her deepest secretbut she was gone. Margaret had decided, for her sons sake, to move far away, sold her flat, bought a house in Brighton, and left.

This way is best, dear. Everyone will be calmer.

From then on, Hannahs father visited Granny twice a year. Barbara accepted it quietly, though shed never permit Hannah to go with him.

I dont want her being turned against me!

It made Hannah bitter, but she pitied her mother, loved her father, and tried to keep some peace between them.

She kept Grannys photograph inside her favourite book, sneaking it out now and then to gaze upon.

There was something extraordinary in the way Grannys portrait had been captured by the photographer. The familys great heirloomher remarkable noseseemed less pronounced, so much so that when Hannah looked at her own reflection she would cry.

The nose. The great family characteristic. Distinctive and outrageously beautiful, as Granny put it.

Of all the descriptions, Hannah held onto distinctive. She saw nothing beautiful about it.

Its simply massive! Laurawhom Hannah hadnt seen in a decadegasped, and even reached out a manicured hand to touch Hannahs nose. Sorry! But its just so funny! Youre like Pinocchio! Doesnt it get in the way when you try to, you know, kiss anyone? Waitdont tell me! Oh, heavens! Hannah, not even once? You must be joking! Not having a boyfriend at your agehow peculiar!

How Hannah kept calm, she never knew. She wanted to claw out half of Lauras immaculate curls.

Who was Laura, anyway? Not a friend. Not even a proper acquaintance by now. Besides, Laura had lived in Spain with her parents for over five yearsdropping by home only rarely. This awful meeting was arranged by Barbara for reasons best known to herself, just before Lauras flight, and against Hannahs wishes.

Darling, you cant behave like this! You havent seen each other in years!

And another few years would have done no harm, Mum. Why?

Because, Hannah! Its important!

For whom?

For you! No more silly questions. Youll thank me later.

Hannah did, in her mind, many times, employing the choicest expressions she could muster for how she really felt. But in the course of that conversation with Laura, she made her first truly adult, well-thought-out decision.

Im getting a nose job.

No! Barbara looked at her daughter in horror. I forbid it! Why would you?

Its no good, Mum. Ive made my mind up. Besides, Dads already agreed.

I wont let you The words were almost inaudible.

Barbara ended up weeping in her room. But a solution came to her deep in the nightso obvious in its simplicity that Barbara froze, then dashed to her husband, demanding Grannys phone number.

Hannah was sent off to Brighton the next day.

Barbara drove her to the airport herself, and as they said goodbye, she whispered, We do so many foolish things in life, sweetheart. Lose so much, where we could have found so much more… Dont repeat my mistakes! And remember, Im waiting for you, and I love you deeply! Even if it doesnt always seem that way, dont forgetyoure my whole world.

Hannah could only nod and, hugging her mother, board the plane. She was going to Grannyand that was all that mattered.

Margaret greeted Hannah with such warmth it took two days before either could talk sense instead of exclamations and tears.

Hannah, what brought your mother to her senses so at last shes acting like a real woman?

No idea. Probably the fact I decided to have my nose cut off.

Why? You look lovely, sweetheart! Maybe a touch of makeup wouldnt go amiss, but thats a detail.

Not you too, Granny! I look like Pinocchio!

Who filled your head with that nonsense?

People…

Hannah bit her lip to keep from crying, remembering beautiful, polished Lauranever without admirers, able to pick and choose.

Anyone who openly insults anothers looksthats not a person, darling. Thats a mistake, something God forgot to fix before it was born. There are no perfect women, you know? And if you show me a single woman whos entirely happy with her features, Ill eat my hat! You ought to apply to the Guinness Book for the most noticeable nose, perhaps? Youd walk it. No contest.

Perhaps I should… Hannah smiled wryly.

Wait! Granny rose from her armchair and swept into the next room, soon returning with a thick blue velvet photo album.

Here!

Whats this?

These are all the women in our family whose heirloomtheir nosesdidnt stop them being happy. These are your ancestors. Of course, not allmany photos are lost. You wont see pictures of my cousins who perished in London during the warthey were never found, but never forgotten. One managed to save her daughter, entrusting her to a neighbour. Not only did this marvellous woman shelter the child, but when she grew up, she returned nearly everything the mother had left hersaying a child should have something of her own to keep. You must remember Auntie Fay. She was that little girl. A remarkable woman and a gifted surgeon! She saved so many lives! Yet she used to request a special face mask for surgeriesto accommodate her nose. Here, have a look!

A tall woman, laughing in the breakers, held her hat against the wind. The handsome man beside her could have been a model.

Is that Uncle Mike?

Yes! Young, dashing, full of life. Fay was happy with him the whole time they were together.

But wasnt he unwell?

Yes, the last two years, he was bedridden. Fay gave up work to stay with him all the time. She fed him, cared for him, and found joy in his being alive. She knew shed have to let go, but couldnt, and died just six months after him. She always said it should have been at the same time

What a life

Yes. And Fays just one! Our family never changed its name after marriagewe did what we could to remember Grandpa and his brother who founded our family. Our noses all came from them. Funny thingnone of the girls ever complained about their fate. And all were happy, all loved and had children, saw grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. Thats not nothing.

Granny got up again, extracting a small carved box from the dresser.

Its time, I think. Here, Hannah. This is what Fay left for you. She divided everything she had among the girls. We each got something to remember those we should never forget.

The earrings Hannah found in the box were so beautiful, her breath caught and her fingers trembled just as they had when James was near.

These are the work of your great-great-grandfather. He was a renowned jewellercould find beauty where none seemed to exist. He truly loved nature, and it shows in his creations.

Are these lilies? asked Hannah, examining the flowers set with tiny gems.

Yes. His wife was called Lily. He made these for her. They were passed down to her daughter, and so on. Now theyre yours.

Granny! Theyre a real family treasure!

Sos your nose, my girl! Now, imagine I decided this exquisite old piece was outdated or silly, and had it melted down and replaced with something modern, but emptyno story, no soul. Would that be right?

Hannahs fists clenched protectively around the earrings. Of course not!

Dont tempt Providence, darlingdont tell Him He made a mistake with you. What you have is just as it should be. Now, tell mewhos this boy whos so disturbed your peace? Whats he like? Wheres he from?

Granny! How do you know? Hannah flushed deeply, lowering her eyes.

There are mysterious ways, Granny sniffed. Or do you suppose I was never young?

The conversation ran late into the night. Hannah poured out her heart, knowing at last she could breathe again, focus on her music competition, and look forward without that paralysing dread. Finally, she had someone trustworthy to share her secret with.

The next morning, Hannah found Granny packing a suitcase.

Where are you going?

Its time to make amends, Hannah. Ive made plenty of mistakes in my days, the worst of them letting a rift become unbridgeable. I must see your mother.

Grannys resolve was unshakable; Hannah helped her pack, called a taxi, and watched the car disappear toward the airport.

Later, curled in her room with Whiskers, Hannah listened to the soft murmur of voices from the kitchen. She longed to join themsit beside Granny and hold her mothers hand; to see if, at last, they were making peace.

But she understood she must leave them to it. The first steps were finally taken, and for now, it was best not to interfere, not to scare away the fragile sense of happiness that had only just begun to show itselfa jewellers work, delicate and painstaking.

A year later, Barbara, now pregnant, would struggle to her feet after the makeup artist completed her task, finger the lily on her daughters new earring, fix the veil over Hannahs hair, and ask softly:

Well then, are you ready?

Just a momentlet me powder the family heirloom! Hannah would quip, turning to the mirror.

Catching a glimpse of herself, shed recall the first time shed asked James if he liked how she looked.

Absolutely. Youre perfect, Hannah! Why do you ask?

His bewilderment had been so sincere, shed closed her eyes against the sudden rush of joy.

A soft smile, a glimmer beneath trembling lashes, and slender arms snaking around her tousle-haired musicianfreshly returned from a European competition win.

No reason, love. No reason at allIts just family tradition.

The laughter that bubbled from the room was genuineold wounds softening at the edges, past hurts folded into shared glances and gentle touches. In the kitchen, Barbara reached for Margarets hand, and for the first time in years, mother and daughter sat side by side, faces reflected in the silver pots polished gleam, noses nearly touching as if daring the world to call them less than beautiful.

Outside, Whiskers sprawled on the sun-warmed step, blissfully oblivious, his tail curled into the shape of a question mark, as if he too was curious what the future would bring.

As music floated through the open windowHannahs concerto, bold and brightthe garden seemed to breathe out at last. Petals trembled on the rosebushes Granny had planted so many springs ago, whispering to the lilies cradling dusks golden light.

Hannah stood at the door, the earrings winking in her ears, and paused, feelingfor a perfect momentwholly herself: imperfect and extraordinary, beloved and unbroken, with memories and laughter and a future her own.

And in that heartful hush, more precious than any legacy, she understood: sometimes the truest heirloom isnt something worn, or carried, or passed on at all.

It is the fearless choice to becomethe first in a long, proud lineto love yourself just as you are.