We Never Discussed Child Support – We Simply Agreed I’d Give My Husband Money for Our Son’s Upkeep, and for Years He’s Been Living Off My Earnings

Since I was the one who left our family for another man and caused the marriage to fall apart, William felt I owed it to him to make up for his broken heart. He wouldnt let me take our son, and our son wanted to stay with his father, not me. As much as it hurt, I couldnt persuade him or force him to come with me. We sorted it all out rather quickly; they let me go and, in return, I sent them money once or twice a month.

At that time, my ex-husband was still working and earning a living, but when he realised that I was doing rather well financially, and my new partner was also pitching in for my son, making sure he never had to go without, William decided to quit his job and started living off the money I sent.

As our boy grew up, his father spoiled him rotten takeaways from restaurants, skipping school whenever he fancied, holidays away and expensive gadgets. Over time, my son picked up a rather dismissive attitude and wanted to see me less and less. No matter what I bought him or did for him, Dad always managed to one-up me, even though it was all with my own money. At eleven years old, the lad never even questioned how Dad managed to be so flush, considering he was always at home.

My husband now suggested perhaps I was simply giving them too much money. We also began thinking about saving for my sons university fees and agreed it would be wiser to put money aside for his future, rather than have my ex waste it all on mindless whims. I told William in person about my decision, explaining that Id supported them long enough, and now it was time for him to handle the day-to-day, while I set aside money for our sons future. He told me what a bad mother and wife Id been and threatened to take me to court for child maintenance, insisting I hadnt actually paid them anything.

I spoke to some solicitors, and they reassured me not to worry about his threats, as there was nothing he could dohe hadnt worked in years and was living entirely off my money. Still, I cant shake the feeling Im the one losing out. My son resents me even more now, thinking I dont want to help his father.

Reading all this back, what Ive learned is no matter how hard you try to make amends, sometimes people only see what they want. And sometimes the best thing you can do is look after their future, even if they can’t see it now.