Last month was my son’s birthday. I told him I would come as a guest.

Raising three boys wasnt always easy, but I suppose anyone whos ever had a house full of men knows exactly what Im on about. Even now, at 52, I cant quite wrap my head around how a home could go without a hot meal on the table or why anyone would leave things scattered everywhere. I always believed it was a womans role to create a home a place thats comfortable and safe for a man to come back to. But Im not at all sure my daughter-in-law would agree.
My eldest son decided to get married two years ago, and nine months later, their daughter was born. He was 28 at the time, his wifeEmmawas only 20. She was still at university, but even the thought of an eight-year gap didnt daunt my son.
While Emma was pregnant, her temperament wasnt the easiest. She sent my son on endless errands. First it was apples in the morning, then oranges, then shed suddenly want flowers. He never argued, always did what she asked. We all assumed once the baby arrived, things would settle, but they simply didnt.
She gave birth, breastfed for two months, and called it a day. Afterwards, she told my son she was exhausted from the sleepless nights and needed a break. My son has always been exceptionally kind and understanding, so he asked if I could help by staying with them. Naturally, I couldnt refuse.
But while I minded the baby, Emma spent her days flitting between beauty salons, and when she finally came home, she didnt have the energy to cook my son dinner after a long day at work. So, I ended up looking after their daughter all week. Emma got used to sleeping in until noon, living entirely to suit herself, and everything else was left to me.
After a month, I broke down and told them I needed to go back home. Emma wasnt pleased in the slightest. Deep down, I realised she wasnt ready to stand on her own two feet, so I still popped by from time to time, but I never liked what I sawuntidiness everywhere, and a fridge completely bare.
She couldnt be bothered to put on a meal for her own child. Id brought up three sons myself, and such irresponsibility just baffles me. My son always knew the comfort of home-cooked food. Just last month, it was his birthday. I decided to visit, assuming Emma would cook something nice. But she simply ordered pizza and Chinese takeaway.
I honestly cant understand my sonhow he puts up with it, let alone married someone so different. Is it because they didnt live together before tying the knot and he never saw this side of her? I reckon its terribly hard for him, yet he keeps quiet and never says a word.
I find myself wracking my brain for a way to encourage Emma to be more like a wife and mother should. All the while, I worry that my son will resent me for interfering. I do know I ought to respect his decision, but I cant just stand by idly and watch. Are all daughters-in-law like this?
What advice would you give to a woman in my position? Should I have an honest talk with Emma?