Last month was my son’s birthday. I told him I would be coming as a guest.

So, you know, I raised three boys. Anyone whos ever lived under the same roof with four blokes will absolutely get what Im saying here. Ive never really understood how anyone can live in a house where dinner isnt made, or theres stuff tossed about everywhere. Now Im 52, and Ive always believed its a womans job to build a homea place where a man actually wants to come back to after a long day, somewhere comfortable and safe. But honestly, I dont think my daughter-in-law sees things quite the same way.
My eldest decided to get married a couple of years ago, and then nine months on, their daughter arrived. He was 28 at the time, his wifeCharlottejust 20. She was still at uni, but the age gap never bothered my son a bit.
When Charlotte was pregnant, her mood swings were something else. Shed send my son running all over Londonone minute it had to be apples, then oranges, and then suddenly she wanted flowers. Not once did he argue, just did everything she asked. We all assumed things would settle down once the baby arrived, but that just wasnt the case.
Once shed had their little girl, she only breastfed for two months and decided that was enough. Then she told my son she was shattered from the sleepless nights and needed a break to rest. My son, bless himhes grown up so understanding and kindso he asked me to pop over and help her out. Of course, I couldnt say no.
While I was running around after the baby, Charlotte was off at salons or just lounging around, and when she finally did come home, she didnt even bother making dinner for my son after hed trekked home from work. So, all week, I was there, minding their daughter. Charlotte got into the habit of sleeping in until midday and generally living life however she fancied, completely leaving everything for me to deal with.
After a month, I reached my breaking point and said I had to get back to my own place. Charlotte wasnt too pleased. I understood she wasnt really independent yet, so I still popped in for visits now and then, but honestly, I didnt like what I was seeingthe flat was a complete tip, and the fridge was always empty.
She couldnt be bothered to make a simple meal even for her own child. Having raised three sons myself, I find that sort of irresponsibility just hard to accept. My son grew up always having home-cooked meals. Last month, it was his birthday. I thought I’d surprise them with a visit, assuming Charlotte might have put together a nice meal. Instead, she ordered in pizza and sushi!
I genuinely cant understand why my son puts up with it. Why did he marry someone like that? I really do think its because they never lived together before tying the knot; if hed seen what she was like, maybe things would have panned out differently. Its tough for him, but he just keeps quiet, never says a word to her.
I keep racking my brain for some way to nudge her into behaving like a wife and mum, but Im so worried my sonll resent me if I step in too much. I know I should support his choices, but watching all this, I just can’t keep quiet! Are all daughters-in-law this way, or is it just me?
What would you suggest to someone in my shoes? Is it worth trying to have an honest chat with the daughter-in-law, do you think?