Adam, I Never Wanted to Hurt You or Cause You Pain, My Dear

Adam, I dont want to upset you or make you feel hurt, love.

Adam sits on the windowsill, gazing out into the street below. Hes waiting for his dad and deep in thought. Its been two years now since his mum left them. Shes made a new life for herself, his dad once said, a noticeable sadness in his voice. Why would she leave her son? Nobody knows for sure. Adam doesnt understand it himself. Gradually, the memories of her begin to fade.

His dad tries his best to do everything for him now. The boy is ten already. He understands a lot; nothing much can be hidden from him anymore. Still, it doesnt all make sense. Hes learnt to wash up and tidy his things away. He doesnt really bother with his old toys.

Hes almost grown-up now. Whats more, Adam feels very lonely. More than anything, he wants a dog. But his father always refuses.

And whos going to look after it? Im always at work, youre still at school and far too young.

So, instead of bringing home a dog, Adams dad comes home one day with a woman. Her name is Alice. She starts living with them. Adam does his best to avoid talking to her at all. He thinks of her as unnecessary. But his dad calls her his wife, and says he wants his son to have a mum again.

I don’t need her! Adam replies, making his feelings clear. And so, life goes on. Adam watches as his dad seems content with Alice. They are always kind to each other, laughing, sharing hugs. Still, Adam remains upset, feeling a strange ache inside.

Dad, I want her to leave.
Adam, I want her to stay. Its hard for us without a womana wife, a mumin the house.

As summer approaches, the days grow warmer. Adam spends hours running around the garden with the neighbourhood boys. His new friends tell him that with his dad and new mum, hell soon be sent off to a childrens home.

Hes terrified. Why wouldnt they get rid of him? Maybe they want a new baby, and hed only be in the way. He starts to prepare himself for the worst.

One evening, he overhears the end of a strange sentence: Hell be better off there, we really ought to send him.

Thats enough to finish him. He doesnt sleep a wink all night, and in the morning, he decides he must get rid of Alice. Shes the one making everything worse. He starts off with silly tricksputting too much salt in her tea, leaving the hob on under an empty pan. Hes rude. Alice realises whos behind it. She calls Adam in for a talk.

We need to have a word. Youre upset.
Theres nothing wrong with me, he insists, trying to wriggle out of it.
Adam, I dont want to upset you or make you feel hurt, love

She sighs. Weve rented a cottage for the summer. We meant it to be a surprise, but I think we need to be open with you. Your dads found a dog. Were picking it up today. You can come with us.

Youre not joking? Adams face lights up in disbelief, hope flickering. He throws his arms around Alice, hugging her as tightly as he can.

Alice almost tears up, stroking his hair. Come now, you should be happya good surprise. No need for tears.

When his dad gets back from work, the three of them go together to collect the puppy. Adams anger has transformed into warmth, and he no longer sees Alice as an enemy. They find peace at last. On the way home, Adam cradles the little dog and, for the first time in ages, everyone is smiling.