My Son Locked the Door When I Went to Visit Him… and Pretended He Wasn’t Home

My son locked the door when I went round to see him and pretended he wasnt home.

I knew he was inside.

The lights were on.

I could hear the telly blaring something about a cooking show.

But the moment I rang the bell, that odd silence fellthe sort you only get when someone is purposely ignoring you.

I stood outside his door and waited.

Pressed the bell again. Then again, for good measure.

Finally, I just leaned against the wall in the hallway and whispered, Oliver I know youre in there.

Nothing.

Only the television kept chattering away.

Thats when it dawned on me: a person can feel lonelier standing before a shut door than completely alone in the world.

Im his mum.

Raised him myself.

His dad walked out when Oliver was six.

I remember walking him to school every morning. Sitting up through the night when he had a high fever.

I also remember how, as a little boy, he was terrified of the dark and would crawl into bed with me.

Mum, dont leave me alone.

And now, here I was alone, outside his door.

A few minutes later, the lift pinged open.

Mrs. Bennett from Flat 3 stepped out.

She gave me a look.

Waiting for someone?

I smiled awkwardly.

My son.

She glanced at the door.

But he just got in.

My heart squeezed.

I know.

I took the stairs, because I didnt want to risk bursting into tears in front of Mrs. Bennett in the lift.

On the street, my phone buzzed.

A message.

From Oliver.

Mum, sorry. It just wasnt a good time.

Wasnt a good time.

Those words sounded so foreign.

I didnt sleep a wink that night.

The next day, I decided I wouldnt text him.

If someone doesnt want to open their door for you, you cant force them.

Three days passed.

Then my phone rang.

It was Oliver.

His voice sounded different.

Mum can we meet?

Why?

He paused.

Because something happened yesterday.

What?

The neighbours lad asked me something.

He sighed.

He asked why his gran always pops round, but my mum never does.

My heart shrank.

And what did you say?

Nothing I didnt know what to say.

Then he whispered, I realised if I keep this up, one day my own son will think its normal to lock the door on his mother.

Silence.

Mum will you come round again?

I stared at the phone for ages.

Then I spoke quietly.

Will you open the door this time?

From the other end came a simple phrase.

Yes.

And sometimes, thats the hardest thing for a person.

To open the door.

What would you do in my shoes?