I Want to Spend the Summer by the Seaside with My Husband’s Family, But My Mum Objects Because She Needs Help in the Garden

Mum has already gotten cross with me since she found out that my husbands relatives have invited us to stay with them for the summer. They live by the seaside and would be more than happy to put up my daughter and me for the whole season. Of course, I want to goour GP actually advised us to take the little one to the sea in the summertime, so she wont catch colds so easily throughout the year.

But Mums in tears, saying its completely out of the question. The summer, after all, is the busiest time in the garden, and theres simply no way she can manage everything on her own; she relies heavily on my help. Shes still upset that I didnt help enough last year. And, to be fair, shes not wrong: last summer my daughter was just a few months old and I barely managed to look after her, never mind help in the garden.

Even back when I was at school, Id had enough of all the gardening. Everyone else was off enjoying their holidays, while I had to go tend our vegetable patch nearly every day, armed with a list of jobshoeing, watering, weeding, you name it. My parents worked during the week and could only get to the allotment at the weekends. But since I was free, it was left to me to keep it all ticking over.

And while the other local kids spent their time larking about, swimming, and kicking a ball about, I was stuck up to my knees in soil. Mum would come round with her precious seed trays and spend the entire weekend telling me I was doing everything wrong, anyway.

When I was at university, I wanted to earn some extra cash over the summer, which only led to another round of scolding from Mum.

After I got married, Mum tried to rope my husband, William, into her gardening schemes as well. He gave it a go a couple of times, saw that the work was never-ending and, frankly, rather futile, and flat out refused to take part after that. Mum was absolutely scandaliseddidnt he realise it was all for our benefit, not just hers? But William pointed out it was far cheaper and less hassle to buy whatever we needed at the supermarket than to sweat away on Mums allotment every weekend.

I gradually stopped going myself, even though Mum could guilt-trip me at a hundred paces. Then I fell pregnant, and the matter resolved itself. I simply couldnt cope with being out in the heat.

Once the baby was born, the gardening season passed by and I more or less skipped it altogether, despite Mums hints that I might try combining both. It was pretty obvious, though, even to her, that gardening with a newborn was a non-starter. Still, she started making plans for the next year.

Her thinking was that, by then, my daughter would be big enough to entertain herself, the three of us could take turns keeping an eye on her in the countryside, and I could finally chip in with the garden again.

Shell be just fine, Mum insisted. Its all pollution and grime in the city, but out in the country weve got fresh air and sunshine. We can buy a little paddling pool, set up a parasoljust let her splash about. Mum was dreamy about the whole thing.

None of that appealed to me in the slightest, but I kept my mouth shut so as not to start an argument. I had something very different in mind.

Over the Christmas holidays, my mother-in-law had visits from her sister (also my husbands godmother, and someone to whom hes very closehe sees her as a second mum, really). She and her husband live right on the coast. Their grown-up son works abroad now, so its just the two of them at home.

They invited us to stay with them at the seaside for the summer, and of course, at no cost. Theyd be delighted to have us, they said.

At first, I assumed they were just being polite, but my husband, William, got a few more calls from his auntie, reminding us that they were looking forward to having us. William cant take the whole summer off, but he can manage a week at the start to drive us down, and another week to collect us at the end.

We were really keen on this trip; the sea air would do the little one a world of good, and the doctor said it would help her stay healthy through the winter months. So Im completely set on going. Only Mum, as always, found a way to sour it.

Suddenly, the sunshine is unhealthy, going to someone elses home is improper, and apparently her garden is just what a child needs for building up health. She reminded me that she had to do everything by herself last summer. My refusal is driving her up the wall.

But honestly, who in their right mind would choose an allotment over the seaside, given the option? Especially when we dont even need anything from her plot. We buy all our fruit and veg from the shops anyway; her pickles and jams are still gathering dust in the cellar, stockpiled like supplies for the apocalypse, and we never even eat them.