How My Mother-in-Law Ended Up Losing Her Flat

Im certain that were in no way responsible for looking after my brother-in-law and his family, nor for letting them have a flat at our expense. I should mention from the outset that the three-bedroom flat we live in is my own. I bought it long before my husband and I got married, and it was in an absolutely dreadful statea real tip! The front door was literally leaning against its frame when I got it. Still, I was pleased with the price, and I took my time doing it up, room by room. But thats not the main issue here.

When I met my husband, Id already spruced up two of the rooms and had even managed to get some furniture in. The place was reasonably cosy by then. My husband, Charles, was handsome and decent, but he was renting a flat at the time. A few months after we started seeing each other, he moved in with me. After we married, we turned one of the rooms into a nursery. First came our son, then our daughter.

Everything was ticking along nicely until one chilly autumn evening, our family peace was shattered by my mother-in-law. She arrived that day, suitcases in tow, and quite tearful.

Could I stay here for a while? she sobbed. My youngest son has brought his girlfriend to my place. I truly hope it works out between themmaybe shell become his wife and theyll settle down together for good. I wont be here long. Ill help out, fetch the kids from nursery and school, do some cooking. Ive only got you now!

Her tears got the better of me, and I let her move in. I gave her the biggest bedroom. Charless mum had retired years ago and, just as she promised, she helped with the children. She simply never went back to her own flat, as her younger son had started his own little family there. He was living in her one-bed flat, with his new young wife and two children: one of their own, and the other from her previous relationship.

Many years ago, my brother-in-law, Edward, married his school sweetheart just after they finished their A levels. My in-laws sold their house, using the proceeds to buy a studio for themselves and a two-bed flat for Edward. A little while later, my father-in-law fell ill and sadly passed away.

Edward and his first wife had two children before they divorced. After the split, Edward let his ex-wife keep their flat. She has since remarried and now lives there with her new husband and three kids. After the divorce, Edward moved back in with his mum. He said to her, Mum, Ill stay with you for a while. Im a free man now! Ill sort myself out and find a new flat eventually. But, as is often the way, things didnt go as hed hoped. Before long, hed brought his new girlfriend to live with his mum too.

Every weekend, my mother-in-law brought round Edwards children from his first marriage, as well as the children from his new relationship. To put it mildly, our place was utter chaos.

A year later, I finally said to my mother-in-law that she really needed to sort out her own living arrangements. That started another flood of tears and a bit of a meltdown.

So, I had to sit down with Edward and tell him it was time to move out of his mothers flat. But he flatly refused, saying he had children and only a meagre wage, so couldnt afford rent. What on earth was I supposed to do?

Recently, things with my mother-in-law have gone downhill fast. I honestly dont even want to go home after work anymore. I told Charles that he had to resolve things for his mum, or Id have no choice but to file for divorce.

Charles was completely knocked sideways by this. He had no idea what to dohe couldnt just turn his mum out onto the street. I suggested that his mum should simply rent a flatafter all, we could help out if needed. His mum, however, flatly refused to live in a rented place and instead insisted we should rent a two-bed flat for Edward and his family, so she could move back home.

Frankly, I thought this was completely out of order, and told her that, if she wasnt out within a week, Id set her things outside the front door. What else could I possibly do?

I truly dont believe were responsible for supporting Edwards family, let alone providing them with a home.

Reflecting on it all now, I see how important it is to set healthy boundaries with family, no matter how hard it may seem. Otherwise, your own life and happiness are quickly swept away by the needs of others.