Auntie Comes to Visit, Wife in Tears

Robert was jolted awake by the doorbell ringing in the dead of night. Beside him, his wife stirred under the duvet. He gently brushed his hand over her shoulder.

“Love, go back to sleepIll get it,” he whispered, shuffling to the door. “Who on earth could it be at this hour?”

When he opened the door, there stood his Aunt Mabel on the doorstep, lugging an enormous suitcase while her husband, Uncle Nigel, shifted awkwardly behind her.

“My darling nephew!” Aunt Mabel trilled. “Arent you happy to see me? Come here, give your old auntie a proper hug!” She yanked Robert into a bone-crushing embrace before he could protest.

“So much for peace and quiet,” Robert thought gloomily as he hauled her luggage down the hallway.

The rest of the night was pure chaos. Aunt Mabel refused to sleep on the sofa, declaring it “dreadfully uncomfortable,” then sweetly suggested her nephew might tuck her in instead.

Roberts wife, Emily, watched in stunned silence. It hadnt even been an hour, and already the entire flat had been turned upside down. By the time everyone finally settled, Aunt Mabel and Uncle Nigel had claimed the bed, leaving Robert and Emily squeezed onto the sofa.

“How long dyou think theyll stay?” Emily hissed the next morning, sliding a plate of toast toward him.

“Dunno. Ill ask when I get back from work,” Robert muttered.

Emily flinched as loud snores rumbled from the bedroom. “Robert, they terrify me. Cant you come home early today?”

“Ill try,” he promised before slipping out the door.

When he returned that evening, the flat was transformedcandles lit, table set. “Come in, dear boy, were celebrating a family reunion!” Aunt Mabel chirped from the kitchen.

Emily grabbed his arm, whispering desperately, “Thank God youre back.”

As they sat down to eat, Robert cleared his throat. “Auntie, how longs your visit this time?”

“Already trying to shove us out, are you?” Aunt Mabel huffed, shooting Uncle Nigel a glare. “Honestly, I knew we werent welcome.”

“What? No! Stay as long as you like!” Robert stammered.

“Actually, dear, well be staying forever,” she announced brightly. “Weve sold our flat. Youre all the family weve got left. You wouldnt toss your dear old aunt onto the streets, would you? Surely you can manage a little while longer?” She dabbed at her eyes theatrically.

Roberts jaw dropped. Emily burst into tears and fled.

An awkward silence fell. Uncle Nigel calmly speared a lettuce leaf.

“And you!” Aunt Mabel snapped at him. “Always stuffing your face. Cant you ever speak up?”

“Quite right, my dear,” Uncle Nigel mumbled between bites.

“Youre hopeless!” Aunt Mabel threw up her hands. “I make all the decisions in this family, and he just nods along. What sort of man does that?” She turned to Robert. “Youre happy to have us, arent you, darling?”

“Stay as long as you need!” Robert forced outjust as Emilys sobs echoed from the hallway.

Robert poked at his dinner half-heartedly while Uncle Nigel chewed so loudly it sounded like gunfire.

Finally, Aunt Mabel pushed her plate away. “Oh, relax! I was only joking. Were just here for a hospital check-upthree days, tops. And you, my dear, handled it beautifully. Scared stiff but never let it show. Thats family loyalty.” She leaned in. “After Im gone, youll inherit my flat. No children of our own, you see.”

Robert had never felt such relief. “Long live Aunt Mabel!” he cheered.

But those three days turned Emily into a nervous wrecknothing pleased Aunt Mabel. The soup was bland, the chops tough, the laundry done all wrong.

As they finally left, Aunt Mabel pulled Robert aside. “However did you marry such a weepy girl? Is she pregnant? Cries at the drop of a hat.”

The moment the door shut, Emily danced with joy. “Maybe theyll never come back!”

Robert sighed. “Doubt it. Think she actually enjoyed herself.”

“I cant take it!” Emily groaned.

Thenthe doorbell screeched again.

“Bloody hell, not already!” Robert leapt upthen laughed. “Oh. Just the alarm.”

A new day was beginning. A peaceful one. Maybe.