Son, I don’t want you to get divorced because of me! Please send me to a care home!

Son, I dont want you and your wife to separate because of me! Please take me to a care home.

Half a year ago, I brought Mum to live with us. Shes getting on noweighty-three this year. Ever since Dad died, lifes been lonely and difficult for her in the countryside. My children are grown and have homes of their own, so its just been my wife and me in our two-bedroom flat. I figured it wouldnt be an issue to have Mum come stay.

At first, my wife didnt say a thing. But after just a week, Mums presence started to agitate her.

Look, can she have her meals separately, after were done? she asked.

Whys that? I questioned.

Its just easier. Watching her gum her food puts me off. I lose my appetiteits honestly revolting.

Come on, well all get old one day.

Thats different, she insisted.

There were other little things, too. Mums digestive problems, her loud snoring at night. My wife put her foot downMum was no longer welcome in the kitchen and, after a while, barely allowed out of her room. One evening she said to me:

I didnt expect her to be here this long. I cant take this anymore.

What are you suggesting? I asked, barely able to get the words out.

Send her back to the countryside.

But she couldnt manage on her own there!

Loads of people do! No one fusses over their parents like this. Why should I feel like a stranger in my own flat? To put up with her slurping and the smell?

I had no idea what to do. Then, not long ago, I came home to find Mum dressed, suitcase in hand, waiting in the hallway.

Mum, what are you doing?

Son, please take me to a care home!

But, why? You dont have to do this.

I dont want to see you and your wife part ways because of me.

She keeps pleading with me, and Im torn. How can I go on, knowing shes living alone in some home? Part of me wonders if it would be better to give up everything and move back to the countryside with her. I just dont know what to do.