We Never Discussed Child Support—We Only Agreed I Would Pay My Ex-Husband for Our Son’s Upkeep, Yet He’s Been Living Off My Money for Years

Since I was the one who left the family for another manand, lets be honest, was the reason the marriage fell to bitsSimon decided I owed him some form of compensation for shattering his heart. He refused to let me take our son, and as much as it stung, our son also wanted to stay with his dad, not me. No amount of pleading would change his mind, and I certainly couldnt drag him away by force. We sorted it all with surprising speed: they let me go off to my new life, and in return, Id send money once or twice a month.

At the time, my ex still had a job (fairly well-paid, too), but the minute he twigged that I was making a decent livingand that my new partner was also chipping in for our son’s benefithe happily handed in his notice and started living off our payments.

As our boy grew up, Simon absolutely spoiled him rotten: takeaway dinners, bunking off school whenever he fancied, holidays to France, latest gadgets, you name it. Over time, our son developed precisely the casual attitude youd expecthe wanted to see less and less of me. No matter what I did for him or bought for him, Dad would do it bigger and better, entirely with my money. By eleven, the kid didnt even stop to ask why his fatherwho never seemed to leave the housewas so flush with cash.

My current husband, ever the voice of reason, suggested maybe it was because I was a bit too generous with my cheques. Plus, we started thinking ahead to our sons university days and decided itd be wiser to save for his education rather than watch my ex blow the lot on things that ping or beep.

I broke the news in person to Simon, saying Id been paying the bills long enough, and from here on hed need to cover the day-to-day, while Id squirrel money away for our lads future. Out came his greatest hits: what a dreadful mother I was, what an appalling wife Id been, and ohhed see me in court for child support, since apparently Id never paid them a penny!

Several chats with solicitors later clarified I neednt lose any sleep. The law was firmly on my sideSimon hadnt worked for years and was living entirely on my generosity. And yet, I still feel like Im the one coming off worst. My sons even more convinced now that I dont want to help his father at all and has taken to giving me the cold shoulder. Its almost comedic, if it werent so painfully familiar: no good deed goes unpunished in the English family saga!