When My Husband and I Were Struggling Financially, My Mother-in-Law Bought Herself a Fur Coat, a Television, and Lived Like a Queen

But later on, life brought a comeback!

When I was eighteen, I found out I was pregnant. My parents, unfortunately, werent supportive at all they told me it was far too soon to be having a child. My husband had just received his call-up papers for the army. Both my grandmothers spoke in unison:

Your baby is your own responsibility. I dont want to look after your child right now, my mum told me.

My mother-in-law wouldnt even speak to me. Out of options, I moved in with my fathers sister, my Aunt Catherine.

At that time, Aunt Catherine was thirty-eight and childless, entirely devoted to her work. She never criticised my parents:

I understand them, she said gently. Things were tough for them, especially when you were born. Your father worked nights unloading lorries just to put food on the table. They went through hard times for you.

But theyre settled now. Dads got a good job and they own a flat with two bedrooms. Mum works, too. And Im about to have my own child.

Will they really not care? I asked Aunt Catherine.

They just want some peace for themselves now. Try not to judge them too harshly. They may come around in time.

Not once did they offer their support. I packed up everything and moved into Aunt Catherines flat.

When my husband, William, came back from the army, our son was already eighteen months old. While he was away, his mother never once visited her grandson. My parents visited me just twice.

William started working as a car mechanic and tried to finish his studies, but it didnt work out. We continued living with Aunt Catherine. When my son started nursery and I found a job, Aunt Catherine was transferred to another city for work, so we moved into a rented flat. Not long after, Williams grandmother passed away.

His mother sold her flat and spent the money making all the renovations shed always wanted, buying anything that took her fancy. William tried to persuade her not to sell, even offered to pay her a monthly instalment and buy it back one day, but she refused.

Why should I sacrifice my life and interests? Ive been dreaming about these renovations for ages. Will you do it for me? she retorted.

Five years later, our daughter, Emily, was born. We realised we needed a place of our own. William took a job abroad. Saving up for a flat was harder than we hoped. I kept living with both children in rented accommodation.

Meanwhile, my mum stayed alone in her three-bedroom flat Dad had divorced her two years ago yet she never found room for me or her grandchildren. Nor could I stay with my mother-in-law, who was constantly redecorating and never hurried to help us.

William kept working overseas. After a few years, we finally managed to buy our own flat, all on our own.

Now, our eldest son finishes Year 8 and Emily is in Year 2. Theyve grown up knowing the true value of money. We scrimped and saved for everything. Our troubles are behind us. Each of us drives our own car, and every year we take a holiday by the seaside.

The only person we are genuinely grateful to is Aunt Catherine. She can call us anytime and ask for help, and well be there.

Our parents, however, have struggled. Mum lost her job. She called recently asking for help, but I said no.

My mother-in-law is in a similar situation. Shes retired and wants to maintain her lifestyle, but squandered the money from her flat many years ago. William refused to help, advising her to sell her big, renovated flat and buy a small one-bedroom instead.

William and I owe nothing to anyone. Weve promised to treat our children differently than our parents treated us. Well always support them however we can. I believe, when we are old, well be able to count on them in return.

The life lesson here is simple: while family ties can be complicated, kindness and support leave much deeper roots than bitterness ever can. What you give to othersespecially your childrencomes back to you in time.